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put it on his head again with the utmost composure； and said； 'Oh； please
your honour； it's never a bit the worse。
It must be acknowledged that these men are not in any danger of
catching cold by taking off their wigs occasionally； because they usually
have fine crops of hair growing under their wigs。 The wigs are often
yellow； and the hair which appears from beneath them black； the wigs are
usually too small； and are raised up by the hair beneath； or by the ears of
the wearers。＇
'This window is all racked and tattered；' says I； 'and it's what I'm
striving to mend。'
'It IS all racked and tattered； plain enough；' says he； 'and never mind
mending it； honest old Thady；' says he； 'it will do well enough for you and
I； and that's all the company we shall have left in the house by and by。'
'I'm sorry to see your honour so low this morning；' says I； 'but you'll be
better after taking your breakfast。'
'Step down to the servants' hall；' said he； 'and bring me up the pen and
ink into the parlour； and get a sheet of paper from Mrs。 Jane； for I have
business that can't brook to be delayed； and come into the parlour with the
pen and ink yourself； Thady； for I must have you to witness my signing a
paper I have to execute in a hurry。'
Well； while I was getting of the pen and ink…horn； and the sheet of
paper； I ransacked my brains to think what could be the papers my poor
master could have to execute in such a hurry； he that never thought of such
a thing as doing business afore breakfast in the whole course of his life；
for any man living； but this was for my lady； as I afterwards found； and the
more genteel of him after all her treatment。
I was just witnessing the paper that he had scrawled over； and was
shaking the ink out of my pen upon the carpet； when my lady came in to
breakfast； and she started as if it had been a ghost； as well she might； when
she saw Sir Condy writing at this unseasonable hour。
'That will do very well； Thady；' says he to me； and took the paper I had
signed to； without knowing what upon the earth it might be； out of my
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hands； and walked； folding it up； to my lady。
'You are concerned in this； my Lady Rackrent；' said he； putting it into
her hands； 'and I beg you'll keep this memorandum safe； and show it to
your friends the first thing you do when you get home； but put it in your
pocket now； my dear； and let us eat our breakfast； in God's name。'
'What is all this？' said my lady； opening the paper in great curiosity。
'It's only a bit of a memorandum of what I think becomes me to do
whenever I am able；' says my master； 'you know my situation； tied hand
and foot at the present time being； but that can't last always； and when I'm
dead and gone the land will be to the good； Thady； you know； and take
notice it's my intention your lady should have a clear five hundred a year
jointure out the estate afore any of my debts are paid。' 'Oh； please your
honour；' says I； 'I can't expect to live to see that time； being now upwards
of fourscore years of age； and you a young man； and likely to continue so；
by the help of God。'
I was vexed to see my lady so insensible too； for all she said was； 'This
is very genteel of you； Sir Condy。 You need not wait any longer； Thady。'
So I just picked up the pen and ink that had tumbled on the floor； and
heard my master finish with saying； 'You behaved very genteel to me； my
dear； when you threw all the little you had in your power along with
yourself into my hands； and as I don't deny but what you may have had
some things to complain of；'to be sure he was thinking then of Judy； or
of the whisky…punch； one or t'other； or both；'and as I don't deny but you
may have had something to complain of； my dear； it is but fair you should
have something in the form of compensation to look forward to agreeably
in future； besides； it's an act of justice to myself； that none of your friends；
my dear； may ever have it to say against me； I married for money； and not
for love。'
'That is the last thing I should ever have thought of saying of you； Sir
Condy；' said my lady； looking very gracious。
'Then； my dear；' said Sir Condy； 'we shall part as good friends as we
met； so all's right。'
I was greatly rejoiced to hear this； and went out of the parlour to report
it all to the kitchen。 The next morning my lady and Mrs。 Jane set out for
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Mount Juliet's Town in the jaunting…car。 Many wondered at my lady's
choosing to go away； considering all things； upon the jaunting…car； as if it
was only a party of pleasure； but they did not know till I told them that the
coach was all broke in the journey down； and no other vehicle but the car
to be had。 Besides； my lady's friends were to send their coach to meet
her at the cross…roads； so it was all done very proper。
My poor master was in great trouble after my lady left us。 The
execution came down； and everything at Castle Rackrent was seized by
the gripers； and my son Jason； to his shame be it spoken； amongst them。
I wondered； for the life of me； how he could harden himself to do it； but
then he had been studying the law； and had made himself Attorney Quirk；
so he brought down at once a heap of accounts upon my master's head。
To cash lent； and to ditto； and to ditto； and to ditto and oats； and bills paid
at the milliner's and linen…draper's； and many dresses for the fancy balls in
Dublin for my lady； and all the bills to the workmen and tradesmen for the
scenery of the theatre； and the chandler's and grocer's bills； and tailor's；
besides butcher's and baker's； and； worse than all； the old one of that base
wine merchant's； that wanted to arrest my poor master for the amount on
the election day； for which amount Sir Condy afterwards passed his note
of hand； bearing lawful interest from the date thereof； and the interest and
compound interest was now mounted to a terrible deal on many other
notes and bonds for money borrowed； and there was； besides； hush…money
to the sub…sheriffs； and sheets upon sheets of old and new attorneys' bills；
with heavy balances； 'as per former account furnished；' brought forward
with interest thereon； then there was a powerful deal due to the Crown for
sixteen years' arrear of quit…rent of the town…lands of Carrickshaughlin；
with driver's fees； and a compliment to the receiver every year for letting
the quit…rent run on to oblige Sir Condy； and Sir Kit afore him。 Then
there were bills for spirits and ribands at the election time； and the
gentlemen of the committee's accounts unsettled； and their subscription
never gathered； and there were cows to be paid for； with the smith and
farrier's bills to be set against the rent of the demesne； with calf and hay
money； then there was all the servants' wages； since I don't know when；
coming due to them； and sums advanced for them by my son Jason for
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clothes； and boots； and whips； and odd moneys for sundries expended by
them in journeys to town and elsewhere； and pocket… money for the master
continually； and messengers and postage before his being a Parliament
man。 I can't myself tell you what besides； but this I know； that when the
evening came on the which Sir Condy had appointed to settle all with my
son Jason； and when he comes into the parlour； and sees the sight of bills
and load of papers all gathered on the great dining…table for him； he puts
his hands before both his eyes； and cried out； 'Merciful Jasus！ what is it I
see before me？' Then I sets an arm…chair at the table for him； and with a
deal of difficulty he sits him down； and my son Jason hands him over the
pen and ink to sign to this man's bill and t'other man's bill； all which he did
without making the least objections。 Indeed； to give him his due； I never
seen a man more fair and honest； and easy in all his dealings； from first to
last； as Sir Condy； or more