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;You know my aunt�察─�she continued�察 �she was present�此�and in what light does she consider the affair� �Last night�察�and this morning�察�Werther�察�I was compelled to listen to a lecture upon my�察�acquaintance with you。 I have been obliged to hear you condemned and depreciated�察�and I could not I dared not say much in your defence。;
Every word she uttered was a dagger to my heart。 She did not feel what a mercy it would have been to conceal everything from me。 She told me�察�in addition�察�all the impertinence that would be further circulated�察�and how the malicious would triumph�察�how they would rejoice over the punishment of my pride�察�over my humiliation for that want of esteem for others with which I had often been reproached。 To hear all this�察�Wilhelm�察�uttered by her in a voice of the most sincere sympathy�察�awakened all my passions�察�and I am still in a state of extreme excitement。 I wish I could find a man to jeer me about this event。 I would sacrifice him to my resentment。 The sight of his blood might possibly be a relief to my fury。 A hundred times have I seized a dagger�察�to give ease to this oppressed heart。 Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively open a vein with their teeth�察�when heated and exhausted by a long course�察�in order to breathe more freely。 I am often tempted to open a vein�察�to procure for myself everlasting liberty。
MARCH 24。
I have tendered my resignation to the court。 I hope it will be accepted�察�and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted you。 It is necessary I should leave this place。 I know all you will urge me to stay�察�and therefore I beg you will soften this news to my mother。 I am unable to do anything for myself�此�how�察�then�察�should I be competent to assist others�拭 �It will afflict her that I should have interrupted that career which would have made me first a privy councillor�察�and then minister�察�and that I should look behind me�察�in place of advancing。 Argue as you will�察�combine all the reasons which should have induced me to remain�察�I am going�此�that is sufficient。 But�察�that you may not be ignorant of my destination�察�I may mention that the Prince of is here。 He is much pleased with my company�察�and�察�having heard of my intention to resign�察�he has invited me to his country house�察�to pass the spring months with him。 I shall be left completely my own master�察�and�察�as we agree on all subjects but one�察�I shall try my fortune�察�and accompany him。
APRIL l9。
Thanks for both your letters。 I delayed my reply�察�and withheld this letter�察�till I should obtain an answer from the court。 I feared my mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose。 But my request is granted�察�my resignation is accepted。 I shall not recount with what reluctance it was accorded�察�nor relate what the minister has written�此�you would only renew your lamentations。 The crown prince has sent me a present of five and twenty ducats�察�and�察�indeed�察�such goodness has affected me to tears。 For this reason I shall not require from my mother the money for which I lately applied。
MAY 5。
I leave this place to´morrow�察�and�察�as my native place is only six miles from the high road�察�I intend to visit it once more�察�and recall the happy dreams of my childhood。 I shall enter at the same gate through which I came with my mother�察�when�察�after my father's death�察�she left that delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy town。 Adieu�察�my dear friend�此�you shall hear of my future career。
MAY 9。
I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of a pilgrim�察�and have experienced many unexpected emotions。 Near the great elm tree�察�which is a quarter of a league from the village�察�I got out of the carriage�察�and sent it on before�察�that alone�察�and on foot�察�I might enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections。 I stood there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object of my walks。 How things have since changed� �Then�察�in happy ignorance�察�I sighed for a world I did not know�察�where I hoped to find every pleasure and enjoyment which my heart could desire�察�and now�察�on my return from that wide world�察�O my friend�察�how many disappointed hopes and unsuccessful plans have I brought back��
As I contemplated the mountains which lay stretched out before me�察�I thought how often they had been the object of my dearest desires。 Here used I to sit for hours together with my eyes bent upon them�察�ardently longing to wander in the shade of those woods�察�to lose myself in those valleys�察�which form so delightful an object in the distance。 With what reluctance did I leave this charming spot�察�when my hour of recreation was over�察�and my leave of absence expired� �I drew near to the village�此�all the well´known old summerhouses and gardens were recognised again�察�I disliked the new ones�察�and all other alterations which had taken place。 I entered the village�察�and all my former feelings returned。 I cannot�察�my dear friend�察�enter into details�察�charming as were my sensations�此�they would be dull in the narration。 I had intended to lodge in the market´place�察�near our old house。 As soon as I entered�察�I perceived that the schoolroom�察�where our childhood had been taught by that good old woman�察�was converted into a shop。 I called to mind the sorrow�察�the heaviness�察�the tears�察�and oppression of heart�察�which I experienced in that confinement。 Every step produced some particular impression。 A pilgrim in the Holy Land does not meet so many spots pregnant with tender recollections�察�and his soul is hardly moved with greater devotion。 One incident will serve for illustration。 I followed the course of a stream to a farm�察�formerly a delightful walk of mine�察�and paused at the spot�察�where�察�when boys�察�we used to amuse ourselves making ducks and drakes upon the water。 I recollected so well how I used formerly to watch the course of that same stream�察�following it with inquiring eagerness�察�forming romantic ideas of the countries it was to pass through�察�but my imagination was soon exhausted�此�while the water continued flowing farther and farther on�察�till my fancy became bewildered by the contemplation of an invisible distance。 Exactly such�察�my dear friend�察�so happy and so confined�察�were the thoughts of our good ancestors。 Their feelings and their poetry were fresh as childhood。 And�察�when Ulysses talks of the immeasurable sea and boundless earth�察�his epithets are true�察�natural�察�deeply felt�察�and mysterious。 Of what importance is it that I have learned�察�with every schoolboy�察�that the world is round�拭 �Man needs but little earth for enjoyment�察�and still less for his final repose。
I am at present with the prince at his hunting lodge。 He is a man with whom one can live happily。 He is honest and unaffected。 There are�察�however�察�some strange characters about him�察�whom I cannot at all understand。 They do not seem vicious�察�and yet they do not carry the appearance of thoroughly honest men。 Sometimes I am disposed to believe them honest�察�and yet I cannot persuade myself to confide in them。 It grieves me to hear the prince occasionally talk of things which he has only read or heard of�察�and always with the same view in which they have been represented by others。
He values my understanding and talents more highly than my heart�察�but I am proud of the latter only。 It is the sole source of everything of our strength�察�happiness�察�and misery。 All the knowledge I possess every one else can acquire�察�but my heart is exclusively my own。
MAY 25。
I have had a plan in my head of which I did not intend to speak to you until it was accomplished�此�now that it has failed�察�I may as well mention it。 I wished to enter the army�察�and had long been desirous of taking the step。 This�察�indeed�察�was the chief reason for my coming here with the prince�察�as he is a general in the service。 I communicated my design to him during one of our walks together。 He disapproved of it�察�and it would have been actual madness not to have listened to his reasons。
JUNE 11。 Say what you will�察�I can remain here no longer。 Why should I remain�拭 �Time hangs heavy upon my hands。 The prince is as gracious to me as any one could be�察�and yet I am not at my ease。 There is�察�indeed�察�nothing in common between us。 He is a man of understanding�察�but quite of the ordinary kind。 His conversation affords me no more amusement than I should derive from the perusal of a well´written book。 I shall remain here a week Ionger�察�and then start again on my travels。 My drawings are the best things I have done since I came here。 The prince has a taste for the arts�察�and would improve if his mind were not fettered by cold rules and mere technical ideas。 I often lose patience�察�when�察�with a glowing imagination�察 �I am giving expression to art and nature�察�he interferes with learned suggestions�察�and uses at random the technical phraseology of artists。
JULY 16。
Once more I am a wanderer�察�a pilgrim�察�through the world。 But what else are you��
JULY 18。
Whither am I going�拭 �I will tell you in confidence。 I am obliged to continue a fortnight longer here�察�and then I think it would be better for me to visit the mines in 。 But I am only deluding myself thus。 The fact is�察�I wish to be near Charlotte again�察�that is all。 I smile at the suggestions of my heart