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My money was growing short； and I one day asked him to pay me for
my labours in the deceased publication。
'Sir；' said the publisher； 'what do you want the money for？'
'Merely to live on；' I replied； 'it is very difficult to live in
this town without money。'
'How much money did you bring with you to town？' demanded the
publisher。
'Some twenty or thirty pounds；' I replied。
'And you have spent it already？'
'No；' said I； 'not entirely； but it is fast disappearing。'
'Sir；' said the publisher； 'I believe you to be extravagant； yes；
sir； extravagant！'
'On what grounds do you suppose me to be so？'
'Sir；' said the publisher； 'you eat meat。'
'Yes；' said I； 'I eat meat sometimes； what should I eat？'
'Bread； sir；' said the publisher； 'bread and cheese。'
'So I do； sir； when I am disposed to indulge； but I cannot often
afford it … it is very expensive to dine on bread and cheese；
especially when one is fond of cheese； as I am。 My last bread and
cheese dinner cost me fourteenpence。 There is drink； sir； with
bread and cheese one must drink porter； sir。'
'Then； sir； eat bread … bread alone。 As good men as yourself have
eaten bread alone； they have been glad to get it； sir。 If with
bread and cheese you must drink porter； sir； with bread alone you
can； perhaps； drink water； sir。'
However； I got paid at last for my writings in the Review； not； it
is true； in the current coin of the realm； but in certain bills；
there were two of them； one payable at twelve； and the other at
eighteen months after date。 It was a long time before I could turn
these bills to any account； at last I found a person who； at a
discount of only thirty per cent； consented to cash them； not；
however； without sundry grimaces； and； what was still more galling；
holding； more than once； the unfortunate papers high in air between
his forefinger and thumb。 So ill； indeed； did I like this last
action； that I felt much inclined to snatch them away。 I
restrained myself； however； for I remembered that it was very
difficult to live without money； and that； if the present person
did not discount the bills； I should probably find no one else that
would。
But if the treatment which I had experienced from the publisher；
previous to making this demand upon him； was difficult to bear；
that which I subsequently underwent was far more so： his great
delight seemed to consist in causing me misery and mortification；
if； on former occasions； he was continually sending me in quest of
lives and trials difficult to find； he now was continually
demanding lives and trials which it was impossible to find； the
personages whom he mentioned never having lived； nor consequently
been tried。 Moreover； some of my best lives and trials which I had
corrected and edited with particular care； and on which I prided
myself no little； he caused to be cancelled after they had passed
through the press。 Amongst these was the life of 'Gentleman
Harry。' 'They are drugs； sir；' said the publisher； 'drugs； that
life of Harry Simms has long been the greatest drug in the calendar
… has it not； Taggart？'
Taggart made no answer save by taking a pinch of snuff。 The
reader； has； I hope； not forgotten Taggart； whom I mentioned whilst
giving an account of my first morning's visit to the publisher。 I
beg Taggart's pardon for having been so long silent about him； but
he was a very silent man … yet there was much in Taggart … and
Taggart had always been civil and kind to me in his peculiar way。
'Well； young gentleman；' said Taggart to me one morning； when we
chanced to be alone a few days after the affair of the cancelling；
'how do you like authorship？'
'I scarcely call authorship the drudgery I am engaged in；' said I。
'What do you call authorship？' said Taggart。
'I scarcely know；' said I； 'that is； I can scarcely express what I
think it。'
'Shall I help you out？' said Taggart； turning round his chair； and
looking at me。
'If you like；' said I。
'To write something grand；' said Taggart； taking snuff； 'to be
stared at … lifted on people's shoulders … '
'Well；' said I； 'that is something like it。'
Taggart took snuff。 'Well；' said he； 'why don't you write
something grand？'
'I have；' said I。
'What？' said Taggart。
'Why；' said I； 'there are those ballads。'
Taggart took snuff。
'And those wonderful versions from Ab Gwilym。'
Taggart took snuff again。
'You seem to be very fond of snuff；' said I； looking at him
angrily。
Taggart tapped his box。
'Have you taken it long？'
'Three…and…twenty years。'
'What snuff do you take？'
'Universal mixture。'
'And you find it of use？
Taggart tapped his box。
'In what respect？' said I。
'In many … there is nothing like it to get a man through； but for
snuff I should scarcely be where I am now。'
'Have you been long here？'
'Three…and…twenty years。'
'Dear me；' said I； 'and snuff brought you through？ Give me a pinch
… pah； I don't like it；' and I sneezed。
'Take another pinch；' said Taggart。
'No；' said I； 'I don't like snuff。'
'Then you will never do for authorship； at least for this kind。'
'So I begin to think … what shall I do？'
Taggart took snuff。
'You were talking of a great work … what shall it be？'
Taggart took snuff。
'Do you think I could write one？'
Taggart uplifted his two forefingers as if to tap； he did not
however。
'It would require time；' said I； with a half sigh。
Taggart tapped his box。
'A great deal of time； I really think that my ballads … '
Taggart took snuff。
'If published； would do me credit。 I'll make an effort； and offer
them to some other publisher。'
Taggart took a double quantity of snuff。
CHAPTER XLII
Francis Ardry … That won't do； sir … Observe my gestures … I think
you improve … Better than politics … Delightful young Frenchwoman …
A burning shame … Magnificent impudence … Paunch … Voltaire … Lump
of sugar。
OCCASIONALLY I called on Francis Ardry。 This young gentleman
resided in handsome apartments in the neighbourhood of a
fashionable square； kept a livery servant； and； upon the whole；
lived in very good style。 Going to see him one day； between one
and two； I was informed by the servant that his master was engaged
for the moment； but that； if I pleased to wait a few minutes； I
should find him at liberty。 Having told the man that I had no
objection； he conducted me into a small apartment which served as
antechamber to a drawing…room； the door of this last being half
open； I could see Francis Ardry at the farther end； speechifying
and gesticulating in a very impressive manner。 The servant； in
some confusion； was hastening to close the door； but； ere he could
effect his purpose； Francis Ardry； who had caught a glimpse of me；
exclaimed； 'Come in … come in by all means'； and then proceeded； as
before； speechifying and gesticulating。 Filled with some surprise；
I obeyed his summons。
On entering the room I perceived another individual； to whom
Francis Ardry appeared to be addressing himself； this other was a
short spare man of about sixty； his hair was of badger gray； and
his face was covered with wrinkles … without vouchsafing me a look；
he kept his eye； which was black and lustrous； fixed full on
Francis Ardry； as if paying the deepest attention to his discourse。
All of a sudden； however； he cried with a sharp； cracked voice；
'That won't do； sir； that won't do … more vehemence … your argument
is at present particularly weak； therefore； more vehemence … you
must confuse them； stun them； stultify them； sir'； and； at each of
these injunctions； he struck the back of his right hand sharply
against the palm of the left。 'Good； sir … good！' he occasionally
uttered； in the same sharp； cracked tone； as the voice of Francis
Ardry became more and more vehement。 'Infinitely good！' he
exclaimed； as Francis Ardry raised his voice to the highest pitch；
'and now； sir； abate； let the tempest of vehemence decline …
gradually； sir； not too fast。 Good； sir … very good！' as the voice
of Francis Ardry declined gradually in vehemence。 'And now a
little pathos； sir … try them with a little pathos。 That won't do；
sir … that won't do；' … as Francis Ardry made an attempt to become
pathetic； … 'that will never pass for pathos … with tones and
gesture of that description you will never redress the wrongs of
your country。 Now； sir； observe my gestures； and pay attention to
the tone of my voice； sir。'
Thereupon； making use of nearly the same terms which Francis Ardry
had employed； the individual in black uttered several sentences in
tones and with gestures which were intended to expre