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'I don't understand you；' said my mother。
'You can understand nothing that would seem for a moment to impugn
the conduct of that child。 I am not； however； so blind； want of
discrimination was the word； and it both sounds well； and is
expressive。 It appears that； since he has been placed where is； he
has been guilty of the grossest blunders； only the other day； Mr。
S… told me； as he was engaged in close conversation with one of his
principal clients； the boy came to tell him that a person wanted
particularly to speak with him； and； on going out； he found a
lamentable figure with one eye； who came to ask for charity； whom；
nevertheless； the lad had ushered into a private room； and
installed in an arm…chair； like a justice of the peace； instead of
telling him to go about his business … now what did that show； but
a total want of discrimination？'
'I wish we may never have anything worse to reproach him with；'
said my mother。
'I don't know what worse we could reproach him with；' said my
father； 'I mean of course as far as his profession is concerned；
discrimination is the very keystone； if he treated all people
alike； he would soon become a beggar himself； there are grades in
society as well as in the army； and according to those grades we
should fashion our behaviour； else there would instantly be an end
of all order and discipline。 I am afraid that the child is too
condescending to his inferiors； whilst to his superiors he is apt
to be unbending enough； I don't believe that would do in the world；
I am sure it would not in the army。 He told me another anecdote
with respect to his behaviour； which shocked me more than the other
had done。 It appears that his wife； who by the bye； is a very fine
woman； and highly fashionable； gave him permission to ask the boy
to tea one evening； for she is herself rather partial to the lad；
there had been a great dinner party there that day； and there were
a great many fashionable people； so the boy went and behaved very
well and modestly for some time； and was rather noticed； till；
unluckily； a very great gentleman； an archdeacon I think； put some
questions to him； and； finding that he understood the languages；
began talking to him about the classics。 What do you think？ the
boy had the impertinence to say that the classics were much
overvalued； and amongst other things that some horrid fellow or
other； some Welshman I think （thank God it was not an Irishman）；
was a better poet than Ovid； the company were of course horrified；
the archdeacon； who is seventy years of age； and has seven thousand
a year； took snuff and turned away。 Mrs。 S… turned up her eyes；
Mr。 S…； however； told me with his usual good…nature （I suppose to
spare my feelings） that he rather enjoyed the thing； and thought it
a capital joke。'
'I think so too；' said my mother。
'I do not；' said my father； 'that a boy of his years should
entertain an opinion of his own … I mean one which militates
against all established authority … is astounding； as well might a
raw recruit pretend to offer an unfavourable opinion on the manual
and platoon exercise； the idea is preposterous； the lad is too
independent by half。 I never yet knew one of an independent spirit
get on in the army； the secret of success in the army is the spirit
of subordination。'
'Which is a poor spirit after all；' said my mother； 'but the child
is not in the army。'
'And it is well for him that he is not；' said my father； 'but you
do not talk wisely； the world is a field of battle； and he who
leaves the ranks； what can he expect but to be cut down？ I call
his present behaviour leaving the ranks； and going vapouring about
without orders； his only chance lies in falling in again as quick
as possible； does he think he can carry the day by himself？ an
opinion of his own at these years … I confess I am exceedingly
uneasy about the lad。'
'You make me uneasy too；' said my mother； 'but I really think you
are too hard upon the child； he is not a bad child； after all；
though not； perhaps； all you could wish him； he is always ready to
read the Bible。 Let us go in； he is in the room above us； at least
he was two hours ago； I left him there bending over his books； I
wonder what he has been doing all this time； it is now getting
late； let us go in； and he shall read to us。'
'I am getting old；' said my father； 'and I love to hear the Bible
read to me； for my own sight is something dim； yet I do not wish
the child to read to me this night； I cannot so soon forget what I
have heard； but I hear my eldest son's voice； he is now entering
the gate； he shall read the Bible to us this night。 What say you？'
CHAPTER XXI
The eldest son … Saying of wild Finland … The critical time …
Vaunting polls … One thing wanted … A father's blessing … Miracle
of art … The Pope's house … Young enthusiast … Pictures of England
… Persist and wrestle … The little dark man。
THE eldest son！ The regard and affection which my father
entertained for his first…born were natural enough； and appeared to
none more so than myself； who cherished the same feelings towards
him。 What he was as a boy the reader already knows； for the reader
has seen him as a boy； fain would I describe him at the time of
which I am now speaking； when he had attained the verge of manhood；
but the pen fails me； and I attempt not the task； and yet it ought
to be an easy one； for how frequently does his form visit my mind's
eye in slumber and in wakefulness； in the light of day and in the
night watches； but last night I saw him in his beauty and his
strength； he was about to speak； and my ear was on the stretch；
when at once I awoke； and there was I alone； and the night storm
was howling amidst the branches of the pines which surround my
lonely dwelling： 'Listen to the moaning of the pine； at whose root
thy hut is fastened；' … a saying that； of wild Finland； in which
there is wisdom； I listened and thought of life and death。 。 。 。 Of
all human beings that I have ever known； that elder brother was the
most frank and generous； ay； and the quickest and readiest； and the
best adapted to do a great thing needful at the critical time； when
the delay of a moment would be fatal。 I have known him dash from a
steep bank into a stream in his full dress； and pull out a man who
was drowning； yet there were twenty others bathing in the water；
who might have saved him by putting out a hand； without
inconvenience to themselves； which； however； they did not do； but
stared with stupid surprise at the drowning one's struggles。 Yes；
whilst some shouted from the bank to those in the water to save the
drowning one； and those in the water did nothing； my brother
neither shouted nor stood still； but dashed from the bank and did
the one thing needful； which； under such circumstances； not one man
in a million would have done。 Now； who can wonder that a brave old
man should love a son like this； and prefer him to any other？
'My boy； my own boy； you are the very image of myself； the day I
took off my coat in the park to fight Big Ben；' said my father； on
meeting his son wet and dripping； immediately after his bold feat。
And who cannot excuse the honest pride of the old man … the stout
old man？
Ay； old man； that son was worthy of thee； and thou wast worthy of
such a son； a noble specimen wast thou of those strong single…
minded Englishmen； who； without making a parade either of religion
or loyalty； feared God and honoured their king； and were not
particularly friendly to the French； whose vaunting polls they
occasionally broke； as at Minden and at Malplaquet； to the
confusion vast of the eternal foes of the English land。 I； who was
so little like thee that thou understoodst me not； and in whom with
justice thou didst feel so little pride； had yet perception enough
to see all thy worth； and to feel it an honour to be able to call
myself thy son； and if at some no distant time； when the foreign
enemy ventures to insult our shore； I be permitted to break some
vaunting poll； it will be a triumph to me to think that； if thou
hadst lived； thou wouldst have hailed the deed； and mightest yet
discover some distant resemblance to thyself； the day when thou
didst all but vanquish the mighty Brain。
I have already spoken of my brother's taste for painting； and the
progress he had made in that beautiful art。 It is probable that；
if circumstances had not eventually diverted his mind from the
pursuit； he would have attained excellence； and left behind him
some enduring monument of his powers； for he had an imagination to
conceive； and that yet rarer endowment； a hand capable of giving
life； body； and reality to the conceptions of his mind； perhaps he
wanted one thing； the want of