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the dirty trade to all the rest who practise it。 See how they
bepraise their patrons； the grand Whig nobility； who hope； by
raising the cry of liberalism and by putting themselves at the head
of the populace； to come into power shortly。 I don't wish to be
hard； at present； upon those Whigs；' he continued； 'for they are
playing our game； but a time will come when； not wanting them； we
will kick them to a considerable distance： and then； when
toleration is no longer the cry； and the Whigs are no longer backed
by the populace； see whether the editors of the … will stand by
them； they will prove themselves as expert lickspittles of
despotism as of liberalism。 Don't think they will always bespatter
the Tories and Austria。'
'Well；' said I； 'I am sorry to find that you entertain so low an
opinion of the spirit of English literary men； we will now return；
if you please； to the subject of the middle classes； I think your
strictures upon them in general are rather too sweeping … they are
not altogether the foolish people which you have described。 Look；
for example； at that very powerful and numerous body the
Dissenters； the descendants of those sturdy Patriots who hurled
Charles the Simple from his throne。'
'There are some sturdy fellows amongst them； I do not deny；' said
the man in black； 'especially amongst the preachers； clever withal
… two or three of that class nearly drove Mr。 Platitude mad； as
perhaps you are aware； but they are not very numerous； and the old
sturdy sort of preachers are fast dropping off； and； as we observe
with pleasure； are generally succeeded by frothy coxcombs； whom it
would not be very difficult to gain over。 But what we most rely
upon as an instrument to bring the Dissenters over to us is the
mania for gentility； which amongst them has of late become as
great； and more ridiculous than amongst the middle classes
belonging to the Church of England。 All the plain and simple
fashions of their forefathers they are either about to abandon； or
have already done so。 Look at the most part of their chapels … no
longer modest brick edifices； situated in quiet and retired
streets； but lunatic…looking erections； in what the simpletons call
the modern Gothic taste； of Portland stone； with a cross upon the
top； and the site generally the most conspicuous that can be found。
And look at the manner in which they educate their children … I
mean those that are wealthy。 They do not even wish them to be
Dissenters … 〃the sweet dears shall enjoy the advantages of good
society； of which their parents were debarred。〃 So the girls are
sent to tip…top boarding…schools； where amongst other trash they
read ROKEBY； and are taught to sing snatches from that high…flying
ditty； the 〃Cavalier〃 …
'Would you match the base Skippon； and Massey； and Brown；
With the barons of England； who fight for the crown？ …
he！ he！ their own names。 Whilst the lads are sent to those hotbeds
of pride and folly … colleges； whence they return with a greater
contempt for everything 〃low；〃 and especially for their own
pedigree； than they went with。 I tell you； friend； the children of
Dissenters； if not their parents； are going over to the Church； as
you call it； and the Church is going over to Rome。'
'I do not see the justice of that latter assertion at all；' said I；
'some of the Dissenters' children may be coming over to the Church
of England； and yet the Church of England be very far from going
over to Rome。'
'In the high road for it； I assure you；' said the man in black；
'part of it is going to abandon； the rest to lose their
prerogative； and when a Church no longer retains its prerogative；
it speedily loses its own respect； and that of others。'
'Well；' said I； 'if the higher classes have all the vices and
follies which you represent； on which point I can say nothing； as I
have never mixed with them； and even supposing the middle classes
are the foolish beings you would fain make them； and which I do not
believe them as a body to be； you would still find some resistance
amongst the lower classes： I have a considerable respect for their
good sense and independence of character； but pray let me hear your
opinion of them。'
'As for the lower classes；' said the man in black； 'I believe them
to be the most brutal wretches in the world； the most addicted to
foul feeding； foul language； and foul vices of every kind； wretches
who have neither love for country； religion； nor anything save
their own vile selves。 You surely do not think that they would
oppose a change of religion！ why； there is not one of them but
would hurrah for the Pope； or Mahomet； for the sake of a hearty
gorge and a drunken bout； like those which they are treated with at
election contests。'
'Has your church any followers amongst them？' said I。
'Wherever there happens to be a Romish family of considerable
possessions；' said the man in black； 'our church is sure to have
followers of the lower class； who have come over in the hope of
getting something in the shape of dole or donation。 As； however；
the Romish is not yet the dominant religion； and the clergy of the
English establishment have some patronage to bestow； the churches
are not quite deserted by the lower classes； yet； were the Romish
to become the established religion； they would； to a certainty； all
go over to it； you can scarcely imagine what a self…interested set
they are … for example； the landlord of that public…house in which
I first met you； having lost a sum of money upon a cock…fight； and
his affairs in consequence being in a bad condition； is on the eve
of coming over to us； in the hope that two old Popish females of
property； whom I confess； will advance a sum of money to set him up
again in the world。'
'And what could have put such an idea into the poor fellow's head？'
said I。
'Oh； he and I have had some conversation upon the state of his
affairs；' said the man in black； 'I think he might make a rather
useful convert in these parts； provided things take a certain turn；
as they doubtless will。 It is no bad thing to have a fighting
fellow； who keeps a public…house； belonging to one's religion。 He
has been occasionally employed as a bully at elections by the Tory
party； and he may serve us in the same capacity。 The fellow comes
of a good stock； I heard him say that his father headed the High
Church mob who sacked and burnt Priestley's house at Birmingham；
towards the end of the last century。'
'A disgraceful affair；' said I。
'What do you mean by a disgraceful affair？' said the man in black。
'I assure you that nothing has occurred for the last fifty years
which has given the High Church party so much credit in the eyes of
Rome as that； … we did not imagine that the fellows had so much
energy。 Had they followed up that affair by twenty others of a
similar kind； they would by this time have had everything in their
own power； but they did not； and； as a necessary consequence； they
are reduced to almost nothing。'
'I suppose；' said I； 'that your Church would have acted very
differently in its place。'
'It has always done so；' said the man in black； coolly sipping。
'Our Church has always armed the brute population against the
genius and intellect of a country； provided that same intellect and
genius were not willing to become its instruments and eulogists；
and provided we once obtain a firm hold here again； we would not
fail to do so。 We would occasionally stuff the beastly rabble with
horseflesh and bitter ale； and then halloo them on against all
those who were obnoxious to us。'
'Horseflesh and bitter ale！' I replied。
'Yes；' said the man in black； 'horseflesh and bitter ale … the
favourite delicacies of their Saxon ancestors； who were always
ready to do our bidding after a liberal allowance of such cheer。
There is a tradition in our Church； that before the Northumbrian
rabble； at the instigation of Austin； attacked and massacred the
presbyterian monks of Bangor； they had been allowed a good gorge of
horseflesh and bitter ale。 He！ he！ he！' continued the man in
black； 'what a fine spectacle to see such a mob； headed by a fellow
like our friend the landlord； sack the house of another Priestley！'
'Then you don't deny that we have had a Priestley；' said I； 'and
admit the possibility of our having another？ You were lately
observing that all English literary men were sycophants？'
'Lickspittles；' said the man in black； 'yes； I admit that you have
had a Priestley； but he was a Dissenter of the old class； you have
had him； and perhaps may have another。'
'Perhaps we may；' said I。 'But with respect to the lower classes；
have you mixed much with them？'
'I have mixed with all classes；' said the man in black； 'a