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'the figure will be of wood for no other reason； I assure you； he！
he！'
'You should place another statue on the right。'
'Perhaps we shall；' said the man in black； 'but we know of no one
amongst the philologists of Italy； nor； indeed； of the other
countries inhabited by the faithful； worthy to sit parallel in
effigy with our illustrissimo； when； indeed； we have conquered
these regions of the perfidious by bringing the inhabitants thereof
to the true faith； I have no doubt that we shall be able to select
one worthy to bear him company … one whose statue shall be placed
on the right hand of the library； in testimony of our joy at his
conversion； for； as you know； 〃There is more joy；〃 etc。'
'Wood？' said I。
'I hope not；' said the man in black； 'no； if I be consulted as to
the material for the statue； I should strongly recommend bronze。'
And when the man in black had said this； he emptied his second
tumbler of its contents； and prepared himself another。
CHAPTER XCIV
Prerogative … Feeling of gratitude … A long history … Alliterative
style … Advantageous specimen … Jesuit benefice … Not sufficient …
Queen Stork's tragedy … Good sense … Grandeur and gentility …
Ironmonger's daughter … Clan Mac…Sycophant … Lickspittles … A
curiosity … Newspaper editors … Charles the Simple … High…flying
ditty … Dissenters … Lower classes … Priestley's house … Saxon
ancestors … Austin … Renovating glass … Money … Quite original。
'SO you hope to bring these regions again beneath the banner of the
Roman See？' said I； after the man in black had prepared the
beverage； and tasted it。
'Hope！' said the man in black； 'how can we fail？ Is not the Church
of these regions going to lose its prerogative？'
'Its prerogative？'
'Yes； those who should be the guardians of the religion of England
are about to grant Papists emancipation； and to remove the
disabilities from Dissenters； which will allow the Holy Father to
play his own game in England。'
On my inquiring how the Holy Father intended to play his game； the
man in black gave me to understand that he intended for the present
to cover the land with temples； in which the religion of
Protestants would be continually scoffed at and reviled。
On my observing that such behaviour would savour strongly of
ingratitude； the man in black gave me to understand that if I
entertained the idea that the See of Rome was ever influenced in
its actions by any feeling of gratitude I was much mistaken；
assuring me that if the See of Rome in any encounter should chance
to be disarmed； and its adversary； from a feeling of magnanimity；
should restore the sword which had been knocked out of its hand；
the See of Rome always endeavoured on the first opportunity to
plunge the said sword into its adversary's bosom； conduct which the
man in black seemed to think was very wise； and which he assured me
had already enabled it to get rid of a great many troublesome
adversaries； and would； he had no doubt； enable it to get rid of a
great many more。
On my attempting to argue against the propriety of such behaviour；
the man in black cut the matter short by saying that if one party
was a fool he saw no reason why the other should imitate it in its
folly。
After musing a little while； I told him that emancipation had not
yet passed through the legislature； and that perhaps it never
would； reminding him that there was often many a slip between the
cup and the lip； to which observation the man in black agreed；
assuring me； however； that there was no doubt that emancipation
would be carried； inasmuch as there was a very loud cry at present
in the land … a cry of 'tolerance；' which had almost frightened the
Government out of its wits； who； to get rid of the cry； was going
to grant all that was asked in the way of toleration； instead of
telling the people to 'hold their nonsense；' and cutting them down
provided they continued bawling longer。
I questioned the man in black with respect to the origin of this
cry； but he said； to trace it to its origin would require a long
history； that； at any rate； such a cry was in existence； the chief
raisers of it being certain of the nobility； called Whigs； who
hoped by means of it to get into power； and to turn out certain
ancient adversaries of theirs called Tories； who were for letting
things remain IN STATU QUO； that these Whigs were backed by a party
amongst the people called Radicals； a specimen of whom I had seen
in the public…house； a set of fellows who were always in the habit
of bawling against those in place； 'and so；' he added； 'by means of
these parties； and the hubbub which the Papists and other smaller
sects are making； a general emancipation will be carried； and the
Church of England humbled； which is the principal thing which the
See of Rome cares for。'
On my telling the man in black that I believed that； even among the
high dignitaries of the English Church； there were many who wished
to grant perfect freedom to religions of all descriptions； he said
he was aware that such was the fact； and that such a wish was
anything but wise； inasmuch as； if they had any regard for the
religion they professed； they ought to stand by it through thick
and thin； proclaiming it to be the only true one； and denouncing
all others； in an alliterative style； as dangerous and damnable；
whereas； by their present conduct； they were bringing their
religion into contempt with the people at large； who would never
continue long attached to a Church the ministers of which did not
stand up for it； and likewise cause their own brethren； who had a
clearer notion of things； to be ashamed of belonging to it。 'I
speak advisedly；' said he； in continuation； 'there is one
Platitude。'
'And I hope there is only one；' said I； 'you surely would not
adduce the likes and dislikes of that poor silly fellow as the
criterions of the opinions of any party？'
'You know him；' said the man in black； 'nay； I heard you mention
him in the public…house； the fellow is not very wise； I admit； but
he has sense enough to know that； unless a Church can make people
hold their tongues when it thinks fit； it is scarcely deserving the
name of a Church； no； I think that the fellow is not such a very
bad stick； and that upon the whole he is； or rather was； an
advantageous specimen of the High Church English clergy； who； for
the most part； so far from troubling their heads about persecuting
people； only think of securing their tithes； eating their heavy
dinners； puffing out their cheeks with importance on country
justice benches； and occasionally exhibiting their conceited wives；
hoyden daughters； and gawky sons at country balls； whereas
Platitude … '
'Stop；' said I； 'you said in the public…house that the Church of
England was a persecuting Church； and here in the dingle you have
confessed that one section of it is willing to grant perfect
freedom to the exercise of all religions； and the other only thinks
of leading an easy life。'
'Saying a thing in the public…house is a widely different thing
from saying it in the dingle；' said the man in black； 'had the
Church of England been a persecuting Church； it would not stand in
the position in which it stands at present； it might； with its
opportunities； have spread itself over the greater part of the
world。 I was about to observe that； instead of practising the
indolent habits of his High Church brethren； Platitude would be
working for his money； preaching the proper use of fire and faggot；
or rather of the halter and the whipping…post； encouraging mobs to
attack the houses of Dissenters； employing spies to collect the
scandal of neighbourhoods； in order that he might use it for
sacerdotal purposes； and； in fact； endeavouring to turn an English
parish into something like a Jesuit benefice in the south of
France。'
'He tried that game；' said I； 'and the parish said 〃Pooh； pooh；〃
and； for the most part； went over to the Dissenters。'
'Very true；' said the man in black； taking a sip at his glass； 'but
why were the Dissenters allowed to preach？ why were they not beaten
on the lips till they spat out blood； with a dislodged tooth or
two？ Why； but because the authority of the Church of England has；
by its own fault； become so circumscribed that Mr。 Platitude was
not able to send a host of beadles and sbirri to their chapel to
bring them to reason； on which account Mr。 Platitude is very
properly ashamed of his Church； and is thinking of uniting himself
with one which possesses more vigour and authority。'
'It may have vigour and authority；' said I； 'in foreign lands； but
in these kingdoms the day for practising its atrocities is gone by。
It is at present almost below contempt； and is obliged to