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them a compliment。'
'By supposing they would put me in the stocks。 Well； I call it
abusing them； to suppose they would do any such thing … stocks；
indeed！ … there are no stocks in all the land。 Put me in the
stocks！ why； the President will come down to the quay； and ask me
to dinner； as soon as he hears what I have said about the King and
Church。'
'I shouldn't wonder；' said I； 'if you go to America you will say of
the President and country what now you say of the King and Church；
and cry out for somebody to send you back to England。'
The Radical dashed his pipe to pieces against the table。 'I tell
you what； young fellow； you are a spy of the aristocracy； sent here
to kick up a disturbance。'
'Kicking up a disturbance；' said I； 'is rather inconsistent with
the office of spy。 If I were a spy； I should hold my head down；
and say nothing。'
The man in black partially raised his head； and gave me another
peculiar glance。
'Well； if you aren't sent to spy； you are sent to bully； to prevent
people speaking； and to run down the great American nation； but you
shan't bully me。 I say； down with the aristocracy； the beggarly
British aristocracy。 Come； what have you to say to that？'
'Nothing；' said I。
'Nothing！' repeated the Radical。
'No；' said I； 'down with them as soon as you can。'
'As soon as I can！ I wish I could。 But I can down with a bully of
theirs。 Come； will you fight for them？'
'No；' said I。
'You won't？
'No；' said I； 'though； from what I have seen of them； I should say
they are tolerably able to fight for themselves。'
'You won't fight for them；' said the Radical triumphantly； 'I
thought so； all bullies； especially those of the aristocracy； are
cowards。 Here； landlord；' said he； raising his voice； and striking
against the table with the jug； 'some more ale … he won't fight for
his friends。'
'A white feather；' said his companion。
'He！ he！' tittered the man in black。
'Landlord； landlord；' shouted the Radical； striking the table with
the jug louder than before。 'Who called？' said the landlord；
coming in at last。 'Fill this jug again；' said the other； 'and be
quick about it。' 'Does any one else want anything？' said the
landlord。 'Yes；' said the man in black； 'you may bring me another
glass of gin and water。' 'Cold？' said the landlord。 'Yes；' said
the man in black； 'with a lump of sugar in it。'
'Gin and water cold； with a lump of sugar in it；' said I； and
struck the table with my fist。
'Take some？' said the landlord； inquiringly。
'No；' said I； 'only something came into my head。'
'He's mad；' said the man in black。
'Not he；' said the Radical。 'He's only shamming； he knows his
master is here； and therefore has recourse to these manoeuvres； but
it won't do。 Come； landlord； what are you staring at？ Why don't
you obey your orders？ Keeping your customers waiting in this
manner is not the way to increase your business。'
The landlord looked at the Radical； and then at me。 At last；
taking the jug and glass； he left the apartment； and presently
returned with each filled with its respective liquor。 He placed
the jug with beer before the Radical； and the glass with the gin
and water before the man in black； and then； with a wink to me； he
sauntered out。
'Here is your health； sir；' said the man of the snuff…coloured
coat； addressing himself to the one in black； 'I honour you for
what you said about the Church of England。 Every one who speaks
against the Church of England has my warm heart。 Down with it； I
say； and may the stones of it be used for mending the roads； as my
friend William says in his Register。'
The man in black； with a courteous nod of his head； drank to the
man in the snuff…coloured coat。 'With respect to the steeples；'
said he； 'I am not altogether of your opinion； they might be turned
to better account than to serve to mend the roads； they might still
be used as places of worship； but not for the worship of the Church
of England。 I have no fault to find with the steeples； it is the
Church itself which I am compelled to arraign； but it will not
stand long； the respectable part of its ministers are already
leaving it。 It is a bad Church； a persecuting Church。'
'Whom does it persecute？' said I。
The man in black glanced at me slightly； and then replied slowly；
'The Catholics。'
'And do those whom you call Catholics never persecute？' said I。
'Never；' said the man in black。
'Did you ever read Foxe's BOOK OF MARTYRS？' said I。
'He！ he！' tittered the man in black； 'there is not a word of truth
in Foxe's BOOK OF MARTYRS。'
'Ten times more than in the FLOS SANCTORUM；' said I。
The man in black looked at me； but made no answer。
'And what say you to the Massacre of the Albigenses and the
Vaudois； 〃whose bones lie scattered on the cold Alp；〃 or the
Revocation of the Edict of Nantes？'
The man in black made no answer。
'Go to；' said I； 'it is because the Church of England is not a
persecuting church； that those whom you call the respectable part
are leaving her； it is because they can't do with the poor
Dissenters what Simon de Montfort did with the Albigenses； and the
cruel Piedmontese with the Vaudois； that they turn to bloody Rome；
the Pope will no doubt welcome them； for the Pope； do you see；
being very much in want； will welcome … '
'Hollo！' said the Radical； interfering； 'what are you saying about
the Pope？ I say； hurrah for the Pope； I value no religion three
halfpence； as I said before； but if I were to adopt any； it should
be the Popish as it's called； because I conceives the Popish to be
the grand enemy of the Church of England； of the beggarly
aristocracy； and the borough…monger system； so I won't hear the
Pope abused while I am by。 Come； don't look fierce。 You won't
fight； you know； I have proved it； but I will give you another
chance … I will fight for the Pope； will you fight against him？'
'Oh dear me； yes；' said I； getting up and stepping forward。 'I am
a quiet peaceable young man； and； being so； am always ready to
fight against the Pope … the enemy of all peace and quiet； to
refuse fighting for the aristocracy is a widely different thing
from refusing to fight against the Pope； so come on； if you are
disposed to fight for him。 To the Pope broken bells； to Saint
James broken shells。 No Popish vile oppression； but the Protestant
succession。 Confusion to the Groyne； hurrah for the Boyne； for the
army at Clonmel； and the Protestant young gentlemen who live there
as well。'
'An Orangeman；' said the man in black。
'Not a Platitude；' said I。
The man in black gave a slight start。
'Amongst that family；' said I； 'no doubt； something may be done；
but amongst the Methodist preachers I should conceive that the
success would not be great。'
The man in black sat quite still。
'Especially amongst those who have wives；' I added。
The man in black stretched his hand towards his gin and water。
'However；' said I； 'we shall see what the grand movement will bring
about； and the results of the lessons in elocution。'
The man in black lifted the glass up to his mouth； and； in doing
so； let the spoon fall。
'But what has this to do with the main question？' said I； 'I am
waiting here to fight against the Pope。'
'Come； Hunter；' said the companion of the man in the snuff coloured
coat； 'get up； and fight for the Pope。'
'I don't care for the young fellow；' said the man in the snuff…
coloured coat。
'I know you don't；' said the other； 'so get up； and serve him out。'
'I could serve out three like him；' said the man in the snuff…
coloured coat。
'So much the better for you；' said the other； 'the present work
will be all the easier for you； get up； and serve him out at once。'
The man in the snuff…coloured coat did not stir。
'Who shows the white feather now？' said the simple…looking man。
'He！ he！ he！' tittered the man in black。
'Who told you to interfere？' said the Radical； turning ferociously
towards the simple…looking man； 'say another word and I'll … '
'And you！' said he； addressing himself to the man in black； 'a
pretty fellow you to turn against me； after I had taken your part。
I tell you what； you may fight for yourself。 I'll see you and your
Pope in the pit of Eldon before I fight for either of you； so make
the most of it。'
'Then you won't fight？' said I。
'Not for the Pope；' said the Radical； 'I'll see the Pope … '
'Dear me！' said I； 'not fight for the Pope； whose religion you
would turn to； if you were inclined for any。 I see how it is； you
are not fond of fighting； but I'll give you another chance … you
were abusing the Church of England just now： I'll fight for