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〃Pack up； and go！〃
Nugent coolly offered him a chair； and asked what he meant。
Grosse refused the chairbut consented to explain himself in terms
variously reported by the two parties。 Combining the statements； and
translating Grosse （in this grave matter） into plain English； I find that
the German must have expressed himself in these； or nearly in these；
words：
〃As a professional man； Mr。 Nugent； I invariably refuse to enter into
domestic considerations connected with my patients with which I have
nothing to do。 In the case of Miss Finch； my business is not with your
family complications。 My business is to secure the recovery of the young
lady's sight。 If I find her health improving； I don't inquire how or why。
No matter what private and personal frauds you may be practicing upon
her； I have nothing to say to themmore； I am ready to take advantage of
them myselfso long as their influence is directly beneficial in keeping
her morally and physically in the condition in which I wish her to be。
But； the instant I discover that this domestic conspiracy of yoursthis
personation of your brother which once quieted and comforted heris
unfavorably affecting her health of body and her peace of mind； I
interfere between you in the character of her medical attendant； and stop
it on medical grounds。 You are producing in my patient a conflict of
feeling； whichin a nervous temperament like herscannot go on without
serious injury to her health。 And serious injury to her health means
serious injury to her eyes。 I won't have thatI tell you plainly to pack
up and go。 I meddle with nothing else。 After what you have yourself seen；
I leave you to decide whether you will restore your brother to Miss
Finch； or not。 All I say is； Go。 Make any excuse you like； but go before
you have done more mischief。 You shake your head！ Is that a sign that you
refuse？ Take a day to think； before you make up your mind。 I have
patients in London to whom I am obliged to go back。 But the day after
to…morrow； I shall return to Ramsgate。 If I find you still here； I shall
tell Miss Finch you are no more Oscar Dubourg than I am。 In her present
state； I see less danger in giving her even that serious shock than in
leaving her to the slow torment of mind which you are inflicting by your
continued presence in this place。 My last word is said。 I go back by the
next train； in an hour's time。 Good morning； Mr。 Nugent。 If you are a
wise man； you will meet me at the station。〃
After this； the accounts vary。 Nugent's statement asserts that he
accompanied Grosse on his way back to Miss Batchford's lodging； arguing
the matter with him； and only leaving him at the door of the house。
Grosse's statement； on the other hand； makes no allusion to this。 The
disagreement between them is； however； of no consequence here。 It is
admitted； on either side； that the result of the interview was the same。
When Grosse took the train for London； Nugent Dubourg was not at the
station。 The next entry in the Journal shows that he remained that day
and night； at least； at Ramsgate。
You now know； from the narrative of the surgeon's own proceedings； how
seriously he thought of his patient's case； and how firmly he did his
duty as a professional man。 Having given you this necessary information；
I again retire； and leave Lucilla to take up the next link in the chain
of events。P。＇
_September_ 5th。 _Six o'clock in the morning。_A few hours of restless；
broken sleepdisturbed by horrid dreams； and waking over and over again
with startings that seemed to shake me from head to foot。 I can bear it
no longer。 The sun is rising。 I have got upand here I am at the
writing…table； trying to finish the long story of yesterday still
uncompleted in my Journal。
I have just been looking at the view from my windowand I notice one
thing which has struck me。 The mist this morning is the thickest mist I
have yet seen here。
The sea…view is almost invisible； it is so dim and dull。 Even the objects
about me in my room are nothing like so plain as usual。 The mist is
stealing in no doubt through my open window。 It gets between me and my
paper； and obliges me to bend down close over the page to see what I am
about。 When the sun is higher； things will be clear again。 In the
meantime； I must do as well as I can。
Grosse came back after his walk as mysterious as ever。
He was quite peremptory in ordering me not to overtask my
eyesforbidding reading and writing； as I have already mentioned。 But；
when I asked for his reasons； he had； for the first time in my experience
of him； no reasons to give。 I have the less scruple about disobeying him；
on that account。 Still I am a little uneasy； I confess； when I think of
his strange behavior yesterday。 He looked at me； in the oddest wayas if
he saw something in my face which he had never seen before。 Twice he took
his leave； and twice he returned； doubtful whether he would not remain at
Ramsgate； and let his patients in London take care of themselves。 His
extraordinary indecision was put an end to at last by the arrival of a
telegram which had followed him from London。 An urgent message； I
suppose； from one of the patients。 He went away in a bad temper and a
violent hurry； and told me； at the door； to expect him back on the sixth。
When Oscar came later； there was another surprise for me。
Like Grosse； he was not himselfhe too behaved strangely！ First； he was
so cold and so silent； that I thought he was offended。 Then he went
straight to the other extreme； and became so loudly talkative； so
obstreperously cheerful； that my aunt asked me privately whether I did
not suspect （as she did） that he had been taking too much wine。 It ended
in his trying to sing to my accompaniment on the piano； and in his
breaking down。 He walked away to the other end of the room without
explanation or apology。 When I followed him there a little while after；
he had a look that indescribably distressed mea look as if he had been
crying。 Towards the end of the evening； my aunt fell asleep over her
book； and gave us a chance of speaking to each other in a little second
room which opens out of the drawing…room in this house。 It was I who took
the chancenot he。 He was so incomprehensibly unwilling to go into the
room and speak to me； that I had to do a very unladylike thing。 I mean
that I had to take his arm； and lead him in myself； and entreat him （in a
whisper） to tell me what was the matter with him。
〃Only the old complaint；〃 he answered。
I made him sit down by me on a little couch that just held two。
〃What do you mean by the old complaint？〃 I asked。
〃Oh！ you know！〃
〃I _don't_ know。〃
〃You would know if you really loved me。〃
〃Oscar！ it is a shame to say that。 It is a shame to doubt that I love
you！〃
〃Is it？ Ever since I have been here； I have doubted that you love me。 It
is getting to be an old complaint of mine now。 I still suffer a little
sometimes。 Don't notice it！〃
He was so cruel and so unjust； that I got up to leave him； without saying
a word more。 But； oh！ he looked so forlorn and so submissivesitting
with his head down； and his hands crossed listlessly over his kneesthat
I could not find it in my heart to treat him harshly。 Was I wrong？ I
don't know！ I have no idea how to manage menand no Madame Pratolungo
now to teach me。 Right or wrong； it ended in my sitting down by him again
in the place which I had just left。
〃You ought to beg my pardon；〃 I said； 〃for thinking of me as you think；
and talking to me as you talk。〃
〃I do beg your pardon；〃 he answered humbly。 〃I am sorry if I have
offended you。〃
How could I resist that？ I put my hand on his shoulder； and tried to make
him lift up his head and look at me。
〃You will always believe in me in the future？〃 I went on。 〃Promise me
that。〃
〃I can promise to try； Lucilla。 As things are now I can promise no more。〃
〃As things are now？ You are speaking in riddles to…night。 Explain
yourself。〃
〃I explained myself this morning on the pier。〃
Surely； this was hard on meafter he had promised to give me till the
end of the week to consider his proposal？ I took my hand off his
shoulder。 Hewho never used to displease or disappoint me when I was
blindhad displeased and disappointed me for the second time in a few
minutes！
〃Do you wish to force me？〃 I asked； 〃after telling me this morning that
you would give me time to reflect？〃
He rose； on his sidelanguidly and mechanically； like a man who neither
knew nor cared what he was doing。
〃Force you？〃 he repeated。 〃Did I say that？ I don't know what I am talking
about； I don't know what I am doing。 You are right and I am wrong。 I am a
miserable wretch； LucillaI am utterly unworthy of you。 It would be
better for you if you never saw me again！〃 He paused； and taking me by
both hands； looked earnestly and sadly into my face。 〃Good night； my
dear！〃 he saidand suddenly dropped my hands； and turned away to go out。
I stopped him。 〃Going already？〃 I said。 〃It is not late yet。
〃It is best for me to go。〃
〃Why？〃
〃I am in wretched spirits。 It is better for me to be by myself。〃
〃Don't say that！ It sounds like a reproach to me。〃
〃On the contrary； it is all my fault