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Oscar seems to have made up his mind at last to enter into the
explanations which he has hitherto withheld from me。 He has asked me to
give him a private interview in the morning。 The circumstances which led
to his making this request have highly excited my curiosity。 Something is
evidently going on under the surface； in which my interests are
concernedand； possibly； Oscar's interests too。
It all came about in this way。
On returning to the house； after Oscar had left me； I found that a letter
from Grosse had arrived by the afternoon post。 My dear old surgeon wrote
to say that he was coming to see meand added in a postscript that he
would arrive the next day at luncheon…time。 Past experience told me that
this meant a demand on my aunt's housekeeping for all the good things
that it could produce。 （Ah； dear！ I thought of Madame Pratolungo and the
Mayonnaise。 Will those times never come again？） Wellat dinner； I
announced Grosse's visit； adding significantly； 〃at luncheon…time。〃
My aunt looked up from her plate with a little startnot interested； as
I was prepared to hear； in the serious question of luncheon； but in the
opinion which my medical adviser was likely to give of the state of my
health。
〃I am anxious to hear what Mr。 Grosse says about you to…morrow；〃 the old
lady began。 〃I shall insist on his giving me a far more complete report
of you than he gave last time。 The recovery of your sight appears to me；
my dear； to be quite complete。〃
〃Do you want me to be cured； aunt； because you want to get away？〃 I
asked。 〃Are you weary of Ramsgate？〃
Miss Batchford's quick temper flashed at me out of Miss Batchford's
bright old eyes。
〃I am weary of keeping a letter of yours；〃 she answered； with a look of
disgust。
〃A letter of mine！〃 I exclaimed。
〃Yes。 A letter which is only to be given to you； when Mr。 Grosse
pronounces that you are quite yourself again。〃
Oscarwho had not taken the slightest interest in the conversation thus
farsuddenly stopped； with his fork half way to his mouth； changed
color； and looked eagerly at my aunt。
〃What letter？〃 I asked。 〃Who gave it to you？ Why am I not to see it until
I am quite myself again？〃
Miss Batchford obstinately shook her head three times； in answer to those
three questions。
〃I hate secrets and mysteries；〃 she said impatiently。 〃This is a secret
and a mysteryand I long to have done with it。 That is all。 I have said
too much already。 I shall say no more。〃
All my entreaties were of no avail。 My aunt's quick temper had evidently
led her into committing an imprudence of some sort。 Having done that； she
was now provokingly determined not to make bad worse。 Nothing that I
could say would induce her to open her lips on the subject of the
mysterious letter。 〃Wait till Mr。 Grosse comes to…morrow。〃 That was the
only reply I could get。
As for Oscar； this little incident appeared to have an effect on him
which added immensely to the curiosity that my aunt had roused in me。
He listened with breathless attention while I was trying to induce Miss
Batchford to answer my questions。 When I gave it up； he pushed away his
plate； and ate no more。 On the other hand （though generally the most
temperate of men） he drank a great deal of wine； both at dinner and
after。 In the evening； he made so many mistakes in playing cards with my
aunt； that she dismissed him from the game in disgrace。 He sat in a
corner for the rest of the time； pretending to listen while I was playing
the pianoreally lost to me and my music； buried； fathoms deep； in some
uneasy thoughts of his own。
When he took his leave； he whispered these words in my ear； anxiously
pressing my hand while he spoke：
〃I must see you alone to…morrow； before Grosse comes。 Can you manage it？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃When？〃
〃At the stairs on the cliff； at eleven o'clock。〃
On that； he left me。 But one question has pursued me ever since。 Does
Oscar know the writer of the mysterious letter？ I firmly believe he does。
To…morrow will prove whether I am right or wrong。 How I long for
to…morrow to come！
CHAPTER THE FORTY…FOURTH
Lucilla's Journal； continued
_September_ 4th。
I MARK this day as one of the saddest days of my life。 Oscar has shown
Madame Pratolungo to me； in her true colors。 He has reasoned out this
miserable matter with a plainness which it is impossible for me to
resist。 I have thrown away my love and my confidence on a false woman：
there is no sense of honor； no feeling of gratitude or of delicacy in her
nature。 And I once thought herit sickens me to recall it！ I will see
her no more。
＇Note。Did it ever occur to you to be obliged to copy out； with your own
hand； this sort of opinion of your own character？ I can recommend the
sensation produced as something quite new； and the temptation to add a
line or two on your own account to be as nearly as possible beyond mortal
resistance。P。＇
Oscar and I met at the stairs； at eleven o'clock； as we had arranged。
He took me to the west pier。 At that hour of the morning （excepting a few
sailors who paid no heed to us） the place was a solitude。 It was one of
the loveliest days of the season。 When we were tired of pacing to and
fro； we could sit down under the mellow sunshine； and enjoy the balmy sea
air。 In that pure light； with all those lovely colors about us； there was
something； to my mind； horribly and shamefully out of place in the talk
that engrossed ustalk that still turned； hour after hour； on nothing
but plots and lies； cruelty； ingratitude； and deceit！
I managed to ask my first question so as to make him enter on the subject
at oncewithout wasting time in phrases to prepare me for what was to
come。
〃When my aunt mentioned that letter at dinner yesterday；〃 I said； 〃I
fancied that you knew something about it。 Was I right？〃
〃Very nearly right；〃 he answered。 〃I can't say I knew anything about it。
I only suspected that it was the production of an enemy of yours and
mine。〃
〃Not Madame Pratolungo？〃
〃Yes！ Madame Pratolungo。〃
I disagreed with him at the outset。 Madame Pratolungo and my aunt had
quarreled about politics。 Any correspondence between thema confidential
correspondence especiallyseemed to be one of the most unlikely things
that could take place。 I asked Oscar if he could guess what the letter
contained； and why it was not to be given to me until Grosse reported
that I was quite cured。
〃I can't guess at the contentsI can only guess at the object of the
letter；〃 he said。
〃What is it？〃
〃The object which she has had in view from the firstto place every
possible obstacle in the way of my marrying you。〃
〃What interest can she have in doing that？〃
〃My brother's interest。〃
〃Forgive me； Oscar。 I cannot believe it of her。〃
We were walking； while these words were passing between us。 When I said
that； he stopped； and looked at me very earnestly。
〃You believed it of her； when you answered my letter；〃 he said。
I admitted that。
〃I believed your letter；〃 I replied； 〃and I shared your opinion of her as
long as she was in the same house with me。 Her presence fed my anger and
my horror of her in some way that I can't account for。 Now she has left
menow I have had time to thinkthere is something in her absence that
pleads for her； and tortures me with doubts if I have done right。 I can't
explain itI don't understand it。 I only know that so it is。〃
He still looked at me more and more attentively。 〃Your good opinion of
her must have been very firmly rooted to assert itself in this obstinate
manner；〃 he said。 〃What can she have done to deserve it？〃
If I had looked back through all my old recollections of her； and had
recalled them one by one； it would only have ended in making me cry。 And
yet； I felt that I ought to stand up for her as long as I could。 I
managed to meet the difficulty in this way。
〃I will tell you what she did；〃 I said； 〃after I received your letter。
Fortunately for me； she was not very well that morning； and she
breakfasted in bed。 I had plenty of time to compose myself； and to
caution Zillah （who read your letter to me）； before we met for the first
time that day。 On the previous day； I had felt hurt and offended with her
for the manner in which she accounted for your absence from Browndown。 I
thought she was not treating me with the same confidence which I should
have placed in her； if our positions had been reversed。 When I next saw
her； having your warning in my mind； I made my excuses； and said what I
thought she would expect me to say； under the circumstances。 In my
excitement and my wretchedness； I daresay I over…acted my part。 At any
rate； I roused the suspicion in her that something was wrong。 She not
only asked me if anything had happened； she went the length of saying； in
so many words； that she thought she saw a change in me。 I stopped it
there； by declaring that I did not understand her。 She must have seen
that I was not telling the truth： she must have known as well as I knew
that I was concealing something from her。 For all that； not one word more
escaped her lips。 A proud delicacyI saw it as plainly in her face； as I
now see youa proud delicacy silenced her； she looked wounded and hurt。
I h