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Leave them here to rejoice；
With true love palpitating；
Alexis the brave；
And the lovely Aline！
（Exeunt all but Alexis
and Aline。）
ALEXIS At last we are alone！ My darling； you are now
irrevocably betrothed to me。 Are you not very； very happy？
ALINE Oh； Alexis； can you doubt it？ Do I not love you
beyond all on earth； and am I not beloved in return？ Is not true
love； faithfully given and faithfully returned； the source of
every earthly joy？
ALEXIS Of that there can be no doubt。 Oh； that the world
could be persuaded of the truth of that maxim！ Oh； that the
world would break down the artificial barriers of rank； wealth；
education； age； beauty； habits； taste； and temper； and recognize
the glorious principle； that in marriage alone is to be found the
panacea for every ill！
ALINE Continue to preach that sweet doctrine； and you will
succeed； oh； evangel of true happiness！
ALEXIS I hope so； but as yet the cause progresses but
slowly。 Still I have made some converts to the principle； that
men and women should be coupled in matrimony without distinction
of rank。 I have lectured on the subject at Mechanics'
Institutes； and the mechanics were unanimous in favour of my
views。 I have preached in workhouses； beershops； and Lunatic
Asylums； and I have been received with enthusiasm。 I have
addressed navvies on the advantages that would accrue to them if
they married wealthy ladies of rank； and not a navvy dissented！
ALINE Noble fellows！ And yet there are those who hold that
the uneducated classes are not open to argument！ And what do the
countesses say？
ALEXIS Why； at present； it can't be denied； the aristocracy
hold aloof。
ALINE Ah； the working man is the true Intelligence after
all！
ALEXIS He is a noble creature when he is quite sober。 Yes；
Aline； true happiness comes of true love； and true love should be
independent of external influences。 It should live upon itself
and by itselfin itself love should live for love alone！
BALLADALEXIS
Love feeds on many kinds of food； I know；
Some love for rank； some for duty：
Some give their hearts away for empty show；
And others for youth and beauty。
To love for money all the world is prone：
Some love themselves； and live all lonely：
Give me the love that loves for love alone
I love that loveI love it only！
What man for any other joy can thirst；
Whose loving wife adores him duly？
Want； misery； and care may do their worst；
If loving woman loves you truly。
A lover's thoughts are ever with his own
None truly loved is ever lonely：
Give me the love that loves for love alone
I love that loveI love it only！
ALINE Oh； Alexis； those are noble principles！
ALEXIS Yes； Aline； and I am going to take a desperate step
in support of them。 Have you ever heard of the firm of J。 W。
Wells & Co。； the old…established Family Sorcerers in St。 Mary
Axe？
ALINE I have seen their advertisement。
ALEXIS They have invented a philtre； which； if report may
be believed； is simply infallible。 I intend to distribute it
through the village； and within half an hour of my doing so there
will not be an adult in the place who will not have learnt the
secret of pure and lasting happiness。 What do you say to that？
ALINE Well； dear； of course a filter is a very useful thing
in a house； but still I don't quite see that it is the sort of
thing that places its possessor on the very pinnacle of earthly
joy。
ALEXIS Aline； you misunderstand me。 I didn't say a
filterI said a philtre。
ALINE （alarmed） You don't mean a love…potion？
ALEXIS On the contraryI do mean a love potion。
ALINE Oh； Alexis！ I don't think it would be right。 I
don't indeed。 And thena real magician！ Oh； it would be
downright wicked。
ALEXIS Aline； is it； or is it not； a laudable object to
steep the whole village up to its lips in love； and to couple
them in matrimony without distinction of age； rank； or fortune？
ALINE Unquestionably； but
ALEXIS Then unpleasant as it must be to have recourse to
supernatural aid； I must nevertheless pocket my aversion； in
deference to the great and good end I have in view。 （Calling）
Hercules。
（Enter a Page from tent）
PAGE Yes； sir。
ALEXIS Is Mr。 Wells there？
PAGE He's in the tent； sirrefreshing。
ALEXIS Ask him to be so good as to step this way。
PAGE Yes； sir。
（Exit Page）
ALINE Oh； but； Alexis！ A real Sorcerer！ Oh； I shall be
frightened to death！
ALEXIS I trust my Aline will not yield to fear while the
strong right arm of her Alexis is here to protect her。
ALINE It's nonsense； dear； to talk of your protecting me
with your strong right arm； in face of the fact that this Family
Sorcerer could change me into a guinea…pig before you could turn
round。
ALEXIS He could change you into a guinea…pig； no doubt； but
it is most unlikely that he would take such a liberty。 It's a
most respectable firm； and I am sure he would never be guilty of
so untradesmanlike an act。
（Enter Mr。 Wells from tent）
WELLS Good day； sir。 （Aline much terrified。）
ALEXIS Good dayI believe you are a Sorcerer。
WELLS Yes； sir； we practice Necromancy in all its branches。
We've a choice assortment of wishing…caps； divining…rods；
amulets； charms； and counter…charms。 We can cast you a nativity
at a low figure； and we have a horoscope at three…and…six that we
can guarantee。 Our Abudah chests； each containing a patent Hag
who comes out and prophesies disasters； with spring complete； are
strongly recommended。 Our Aladdin lamps are very chaste； and our
Prophetic Tablets； foretelling everythingfrom a change of
Ministry down to a rise in Unifiedare much enquired for。 Our
penny Curseone of the cheapest things in the tradeis
considered infallible。 We have some very superior Blessings；
too； but they're very little asked for。 We've only sold one
since Christmasto a gentleman who bought it to send to his
mother…in…lawbut it turned out that he was afflicted in the
head； and it's been returned on our hands。 But our sale of penny
Curses； especially on Saturday nights； is tremendous。 We can't
turn 'em out fast enough。
SONGMR。 WELLS
Oh！ my name is John Wellington Wells；
I'm a dealer in magic and spells；
In blessings and curses
And ever…filled purses；
In prophecies； witches； and knells。
If you want a proud foe to 〃make tracks〃
If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax
You've but to look in
On the resident Djinn；
Number seventy； Simmery Axe！
We've a first…class assortment of magic；
And for raising a posthumous shade
With effects that are comic or tragic；
There's no cheaper house in the trade。
Love…philtrewe've quantities of it；
And for knowledge if any one burns；
We keep an extremely small prophet； a prophet
Who brings us unbounded returns：
For he can prophesy
With a wink of his eye；
Peep with security
Into futurity；
Sum up your history；
Clear up a mystery；
Humour proclivity
For a nativityfor a nativity；
With mirrors so magical；
Tetrapods tragical；
Bogies spectacular；
Answers oracular；
Facts astronomical；
Solemn or comical；
And； if you want it； he
Makes a reduction on taking a quantity！
Oh！
If any one anything lacks；
He'll find it all ready in stacks；
If he'll only look in
On the resident Djinn；
Number seventy； Simmery Axe！
He can raise you hosts
Of ghosts；
And that without reflectors；
And creepy things
With wings；