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Cyril &
Florian： With their rigs。
Hilarion： From the ears of Lady Circe's
Piggy…wigs
Cyril &
Florian： Piggy…wigs。
Hilarion： And weasels at their slumbers
They trepan
Cyril &
Florian： They trepan；
Hilarion： To get sunbeams from cucumbers
They've a plan
Cyril
& Florian： They've a plan。
Hilarion： They've a firmly rooted notion
They can cross the Polar Ocean；
And they'll find Perpetual Motion；
If they can
All： If they can。
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see。
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see！
Cyril： As for fashion； they forswear it；
So they say
Hilarion &
Florian： So they say；
Cyril： And the circle they will square it
Some fine day
Hilarion &
Florian： Some fine day；
Cyril： Then the little pigs they're teaching
For to fly
Hilarion &
Florian： For to fly；
Cyril： And the niggers they'll be bleaching；
By and by
Hilarion &
Florian： By and by！
Cyril： Each newly joined aspirant
To the clan
Hilarion &
Florian： To the clan
Cyril： Must repudiate the tyrant
Known as Man
Hilarion &
Florian： Known as Man。
Cyril： They'll mock at him and flout him；
For they do not care about him
And they're 〃going to do without him〃
If they can
All： If they can！
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see。
These are the phenomena
That ev'ry pretty domina
Is hoping at her Universitee we shall see！
Hilarion： So that's the Princess Ida's castle！ Well；
They must be lovely girls； indeed； if it requires
Such walls as those to keep intruders off！
Cyril： To keep men off is only half their charge；
And that the easier half。 I much suspect
The object of these walls is not so much
To keep men off as keep the maidens in！
Florian： But what are these？ （Examining some Collegiate robes）
Hilarion： （looking at them） Why； Academic robes；
Worn by the lady undergraduates
When they matriculate。 Let's try them on。 （They do
so。）
Why； see we're covered to the very toes。
Three lovely lady undergraduates
Who； weary of the world and all its wooing （pose）
Florian： And penitent for deeds there's no undoing （pose）
Cyril： Looked at askance by well…conducted maids （pose）
All： Seek sanctuary in these classic shades！
TRIO （Cyril； Hilarion and Florian）
〃I am a maiden〃
Hilarion： I am a maiden； cold and stately；
Heartless I； with face divine。
What do I want with a heart； innately？
Every heart I meet is mine！
Every heart I meet is mine； is mine！
All： Haughty； humble； coy； or free；
Little care I what maid may be。
So that a maid is fair to see；
Ev'ry maid is the maid for me！
（Dance）
Cyril： I am a maiden； frank and simple；
Brimming with joyous roguery；
Merriment lurks in ev'ry dimple
Nobody breaks more hearts than I！
Nobody breaks more hearts； more hearts than
I
All： Haughty； humble； coy； or free；
Little care I what maid may be。
So that a maid is fair to see；
Ev'ry maid is the maid for me！
（Dance）
Florian： I am a maiden coyly blushing；
Timid am I as a startled hind；
Every suitor sets me flushing；
Every suitor sets me flushing：
I am the maid that wins mankind！
All： Haughty； humble； coy； or free；
Little care I what maid may be。
So that a maid is fair to see；
Ev'ry maid is the maid for me！
Haughty； humble； coy； or free；
Little care I what maid may be。
So that a maid is fair to see；
Ev'ry maid is the maid for me！
＇Enter the Princess； reading。 She does not
see them。）
Florian： But who comes here？ The Princess； as I live！
What shall we do？
Hilarion： （Aside） Why； we must brave it out！
（Aloud） Madam； accept our humblest reverence。
（They bow； then suddenly recollecting
themselves； curtsey。）
Princess： （Surprised） We greet you； ladies。 What would you
with us？
Hilarion： （Aside to Cyril）
What shall I say？ （Aloud） We are three students；
ma'am；
Three well…born maids of liberal estate；
Who wish to join this University。
（Hilarion and Florian curtsey again。 Cyril bows
extravagantly；
then； being recalled to himself by Florian；
curtseys。）
Princess： If； as you say； you wish to join our ranks；
And will subscribe to all our rules； 'tis well。
Florian： To all your rules we cheerfully subscribe。
Princess： You say you're noblewomen。 Well； you'll find
No sham degrees for noblewomen here。
You'll find no sizars here； or servitors；
Or other cruel distinctions； meant to draw
A line 'twixt rich and poor； you'll find no tufts
To mark nobility； except such tufts
As indicate nobility of brain。
As for your fellow…students； mark me well：
There are a hundred maids within these walls；
All good； all learned； and all beautiful：
They are prepared to love you： will you swear
To give the fullness of your love to them？
Hilarion： Upon our words and honours； Ma'am； we will！
Princess： But we go further： Will you undertake
That you will never marry any man？
Florian： Indeed we never will！
Princess： Consider well；
You must prefer our maids to all mankind！
Hilarion： To all mankind we much prefer your maids！
Cyril： We should be dolts indeed； if we did not； seeing how
fair
Hilarion： （Aside to Cyril） Take care that's rather strong！
Princess： But have you left no lovers at your home
Who may pursue you here？
Hilarion： No； madam； none。
We're homely ladies； as no doubt you see；
And we have never fished for lover's love。
We smile at girls who deck themselves with gems；
False hair and meretricious ornament；
To chain the fleeting fancy of a man；
But do not imitate them。 What we have
Of hair； is all our own。 Our colour； too；
Unladylike； but not unwomanly；
Is Nature's handiwork； and man has learnt
To reckon Nature an impertinence。
Princess： Well； beauty counts for naught within these walls；
If all you say is true； you'll pass with us
A happy； happy time！
Cyril： If； as you say；
A hundred lovely maidens wait within；
To welcome us with smiles and open arms；
I think there's very little doubt we shall！