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But as humble as could be；
For it clearly knew
The deference due
To a man of pedigree！
And it's oh； I vow；
This deathly bow
Was a touching sight to see；
Though trunkless； yet
It couldn't forget
The deference due to me！
CHORUS。
This haughty youth；
He speaks the truth
Whenever he finds it pays：
And in this case
It all took place
Exactly as he says！
＇Exeunt
Chorus。
MIK。 All this is very interesting； and I should like to
have seen it。 But we came about a totally different matter。 A
year ago my son； the heir to the throne of Japan； bolted from our
Imperial Court。
KO。 Indeed！ Had he any reason to be dissatisfied with his
position？
KAT。 None whatever。 On the contrary； I was going to marry
himyet he fled！
POOH。 I am surprised that he should have fled from one so
lovely！
KAT。 That's not true。
POOH。 No！
KAT。 You hold that I am not beautiful because my face is
plain。 But you know nothing； you are still unenlightened。
Learn； then； that it is not in the face alone that beauty is to
be sought。 My face is unattractive！
POOH。 It is。
KAT。 But I have a left shoulder…blade that is a miracle of
loveliness。 People come miles to see it。 My right elbow has a
fascination that few can resist。
POOH。 Allow me！
KAT。 It is on view Tuesdays and Fridays； on presentation of
visiting card。 As for my circulation； it is the largest in the
world。
KO。 And yet he fled！
MIK。 And is now masquerading in this town； disguised as a
Second Trombone。
KO。； POOH。； and PITTI。 A Second Trombone！
MIK。 Yes； would it be troubling you too much if I asked you
to produce him？ He goes by the name of
KAT。 Nanki…Poo。
MIK。 Nanki…Poo。
KO。 It's quite easy。 That is； it's rather difficult。 In
point of fact； he's gone abroad！
MIK。 Gone abroad！ His address。
KO。 Knightsbridge！
KAT。 （who is reading certificate of death）。 Ha！
MIK。 What's the matter？
KAT。 See herehis nameNanki…Poobeheaded this morning。
Oh； where shall I find another？ Where shall I find another？
＇Ko…Ko； Pooh…Bah； and Pitti…Sing fall on
their knees。
MIK。 （looking at paper）。 Dear； dear； dear！ this is very
tiresome。 （To Ko…Ko。） My poor fellow； in your anxiety to carry
out my wishes you have beheaded the heir to the throne of Japan！
KO。 I beg to offer an unqualified apology。
POOH。 I desire to associate myself with that expression of
regret。
PITTI。 We really hadn't the least notion
MIK。 Of course you hadn't。 How could you？ Come； come； my
good fellow； don't distress yourselfit was no fault of yours。
If a man of exalted rank chooses to disguise himself as a Second
Trombone； he must take the consequences。 It really distresses me
to see you take on so。 I've no doubt he thoroughly deserved all
he got。 （They rise。）
KO。 We are infinitely obliged to your Majesty
PITTI。 Much obliged； your Majesty。
POOH。 Very much obliged； your Majesty。
MIK。 Obliged？ not a bit。 Don't mention it。 How could you
tell？
POOH。 No； of course we couldn't tell who the gentleman
really was。
PITTI。 It wasn't written on his forehead； you know。
KO。 It might have been on his pocket…handkerchief； but
Japanese don't use pocket…handkerchiefs！ Ha！ ha！ ha！
MIK。 Ha！ ha！ ha！ （To Katisha。） I forget the punishment for
compassing the death of the Heir Apparent。
KO。； POOH； and PITTI。 Punishment。 （They drop down on their
knees again。）
MIK。 Yes。 Something lingering； with boiling oil in it； I
fancy。 Something of that sort。 I think boiling oil occurs in
it； but I'm not sure。 I know it's something humorous； but
lingering； with either boiling oil or melted lead。 Come； come；
don't fretI'm not a bit angry。
KO。 （in abject terror）。 If your Majesty will accept our
assurance； we had no idea
MIK。 Of course
PITTI。 I knew nothing about it。
POOH。 I wasn't there。
MIK。 That's the pathetic part of it。 Unfortunately； the
fool of an Act says 〃compassing the death of the Heir Apparent。〃
There's not a word about a mistake
KO。； PITTI。； and POOH。 No！
MIK。 Or not knowing
KO。 No！
MIK。 Or having no notion
PITTI。 No！
MIK。 Or not being there
POOH。 No！
MIK。 There should be； of course…
KO。； PITTI。； and POOH。 Yes！
MIK。 But there isn't。
KO。； PITTI。； and POOH。 Oh！
MIK。 That's the slovenly way in which these Acts are always
drawn。 However； cheer up； it'll be all right。 I'll have it
altered next session。 Now； let's see about your executionwill
after luncheon suit you？ Can you wait till then？
KO。； PITTI。； and POOH。 Oh； yeswe can wait till then！
MIK。 Then we'll make it after luncheon。
POOH。 I don't want any lunch。
MIK。 I'm really very sorry for you all； but it's an unjust
world； and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances。
GLEE。
PITTI…SING； KATISHA； KO…KO； POOH…BAH； and MIKADO；
MIK。 See how the Fates their gifts allot；
For A is happyB is not。
Yet B is worthy； I dare say；
Of more prosperity than A！
KO。； POOH。； and PITTI。 Is B more worthy？
KAT。 I should say
He's worth a great deal more than A。
ENSEMBLE： Yet A is happy！
Oh； so happy！
Laughing； Ha！ ha！
Chaffing； Ha！ ha！
Nectar quaffing； Ha！ ha！ ha！
Ever joyous； ever gay；
Happy； undeserving A！
KO。； POOH。； and PITTI。 If I were Fortunewhich I'm not
B should enjoy A's happy lot；
And A should die in miserie
That is； assuming I am B。
MIK。 and KAT。 But should A perish？
KO。； POOH。； and PITTI。 That should be
（Of course； assuming I am B）。
B should be happy！
Oh； so happy！
Laughing； Ha！ ha！
Chaffing； Ha！ ha！
Nectar quaffing； Ha！ ha！ ha！
But condemned to die is he；
Wretched meritorious B！
＇Exeunt Mikado and
Katisha。
KO。 Well； a nice mess you've got us into； with your nodding
head and the deference due to a man of pedigree！
POOH。 Merely corroborative detail； intended to give
artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing
narrative。
PITTI。 Corroborative detail indeed！ Corroborative
fiddlestick！
KO。 And you're just as bad as he is with your cock
and…a…bull stories about catching his eye and his whistling an
air。 But that's so like you！ You must put in your oar！
POOH。 But how about your big right arm？
PITTI。 Yes； and your snickersnee！
KO。 Well； well； never mind that now。 There's only one
thing to be done。 Nanki…Poo hasn't started yethe must come to
life again at once。 （Enter Nanki…Poo and Yum…Yum prepared for
journey。） Here he comes。 Here； Nanki…Poo； I've good news for
youyou're reprieved。
NANK。 Oh； but it's too late。 I'm a dead man； and I'm off
for my honeymoon。
KO。 Nonsense！ A terrible thing has just happened。 It
seems you're the son of the Mikado。
NANK。 Yes； but that happened some time ago。
KO。 Is this a time for airy persiflage？ Your father is
here； and with Katisha！
NANK。 My father！ And with Katisha！
KO。 Yes； he wants you particularly。
POOH。 So does she。
YUM。 Oh； but he's married now。
KO。 But； bless my heart！ what has that to do with it？
NANK。 Katisha claims me in marriage； but I can't marry her
because I'm married alreadyconsequently she will insist on my
execution； and if I'm executed； my wife will have to be buried
alive。
YUM。 You see our difficulty。
KO。 Yes。 I don't know what's to be done。
NANK。 There's one chance for you。 If you could persuade
Katisha to marry you； she would have no further claim on me； and
in that case I could come to life without any fear of being put
to death。
KO。 I marry Katisha！
YUM。 I really think it's the only course。
KO。 But； my good girl； have y