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Little need for woeful weeping；
Till the sad sundown is near。
All must sip the cup of sorrow
I to…day and thou to…morrow；
This the close of every song
Ding dong！ Ding dong！
What； though solemn shadows fall；
Sooner； later； over all？
Sing a merry madrigal
A madrigal！
Fal…lafal…la！ etc。 （Ending in tears。）
＇Exeunt Pitti…Sing and
Pish…Tush。
（Nanki…Poo embraces Yum…Yum。 Enter Ko…Ko。 Nanki…Poo releases
Yum…Yum。）
KO。 Go ondon't mind me。
NANK。 I'm afraid we're distressing you。
KO。 Never mind； I must get used to it。 Only please do it
by degrees。 Begin by putting your arm round her waist。
（Nanki…Poo does so。） There； let me get used to that first。
YUM。 Oh； wouldn't you like to retire？ It must pain you to
see us so affectionate together！
KO。 No； I must learn to bear it！ Now oblige me by allowing
her head to rest on your shoulder。
NANK。 Like that？ （He does so。 Ko…Ko much affected。）
KO。 I am much obliged to you。 Nowkiss her！ （He does so。
Ko…Ko writhes with anguish。） Thank youit's simple torture！
YUM。 Come； come； bear up。 After all； it's only for a
month。
KO。 No。 It's no use deluding oneself with false hopes。
NANK。 and YUM。 What do you mean？
KO。 （to Yum…Yum）。 My childmy poor child！ （Aside。） How
shall I break it to her？ （Aloud。） My little bride that was to
have been？
YUM。 （delighted）。 Was to have been？
KO。 Yes； you never can be mine！
NANK。 and YUM。 （simultaneously； in ecstacy） What！/I'm so
glad！
KO。 I've just ascertained that； by the Mikado's law； when a
married man is beheaded his wife is buried alive。
NANK。 and YUM。 Buried alive！
KO。 Buried alive。 It's a most unpleasant death。
NANK。 But whom did you get that from？
KO。 Oh； from Pooh…Bah。 He's my Solicitor。
YUM。 But he may be mistaken！
KO。 So I thought； so I consulted the Attorney General； the
Lord Chief Justice； the Master of the Rolls； the Judge Ordinary；
and the Lord Chancellor。 They're all of the same opinion。 Never
knew such unanimity on a point of law in my life！
NANK。 But stop a bit！ This law has never been put in
force。
KO。 Not yet。 You see； flirting is the only crime
punishable with decapitation； and married men never flirt。
NANK。 Of course； they don't。 I quite forgot that！ Well； I
suppose I may take it that my dream of happiness is at an end！
YUM。 DarlingI don't want to appear selfish； and I love
you with all my heartI don't suppose I shall ever love anybody
else half as muchbut when I agreed to marry youmy ownI had
no ideapetthat I should have to be buried alive in a month！
NANK。 Nor I！ It's the very first I've heard of it！
YUM。 Itit makes a difference； doesn't it？
NANK。 It does make a difference； of course。
YUM。 You seeburial aliveit's such a stuffy death！
NANK。 I call it a beast of a death。
YUM。 You see my difficulty； don't you？
NANK。 Yes； and I see my own。 If I insist on your carrying
out your promise； I doom you to a hideous death； if I release
you； you marry Ko…Ko at once！
TRIO。YUM…YUM； NANKI…POO； and KO…KO。
YUM。 Here's a how…de…do！
If I marry you；
When your time has come to perish；
Then the maiden whom you cherish
Must be slaughtered； too！
Here's a how…de…do！
NANK。 Here's a pretty mess！
In a month； or less；
I must die without a wedding！
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
Witness my distress；
Here's a pretty mess！
KO。 Here's a state of things
To her life she clings！
Matrimonial devotion
Doesn't seem to suit her notion
Burial it brings！
Here's a state of things！
ENSEMBLE
YUM…YUM and NANKI…POO。 KO…KO。
With a passion that's intense With a passion that's
intense
I worship and adore； You worship and adore；
But the laws of common sense But the laws of common
sense
We oughtn't to ignore。 You oughtn't to
ignore。
If what he says is true； If what I say is true；
'Tis death to marry you！ 'Tis death to marry
you！
Here's a pretty state of things！ Here's a pretty state of
things！
Here's a pretty how…de…do！ Here's a pretty
how…de…do！
＇Exit
Yum…Yum。
KO。 （going up to Nanki…Poo）。 My poor boy； I'm really very
sorry for you。
NANK。 Thanks； old fellow。 I'm sure you are。
KO。 You see I'm quite helpless。
NANK。 I quite see that。
KO。 I can't conceive anything more distressing than to have
one's marriage broken off at the last moment。 But you shan't be
disappointed of a weddingyou shall come to mine。
NANK。 It's awfully kind of you； but that's impossible。
KO。 Why so？
NANK。 To…day I die。
KO。 What do you mean？
NANK。 I can't live without Yum…Yum。 This afternoon I
perform the Happy Despatch。
KO。 No； nopardon meI can't allow that。
NANK。 Why not？
KO。 Why； hang it all； you're under contract to die by the
hand of the Public Executioner in a month's time！ If you kill
yourself； what's to become of me？ Why； I shall have to be
executed in your place！
NANK。 It would certainly seem so！
Enter Pooh…Bah。
KO。 Now then； Lord Mayor； what is it？
POOH。 The Mikado and his suite are approaching the city；
and will be here in ten minutes。
KO。 The Mikado！ He's coming to see whether his orders have
been carried out！ （To Nanki…Poo。） Now look here； you knowthis
is getting seriousa bargain's a bargain； and you really mustn't
frustrate the ends of justice by committing suicide。 As a man of
honour and a gentleman； you are bound to die ignominiously by the
hands of the Public Executioner。
NANK。 Very well； thenbehead me。
KO。 What； now？
NANK。 Certainly； at once。
POOH。 Chop it off！ Chop it off！
KO。 My good sir； I don't go about prepared to execute
gentlemen at a moment's notice。 Why； I never even killed a
blue…bottle！
POOH。 Still； as Lord High Executioner
KO。 My good sir； as Lord High Executioner； I've got to
behead him in a month。 I'm not ready yet。 I don't know how it's
done。 I'm going to take lessons。 I mean to begin with a guinea
pig； and work my way through the animal kingdom till I come to a
Second Trombone。 Why； you don't suppose that； as a humane man；
I'd have accepted the post of Lord High Executioner if I hadn't
thought the duties were purely nominal？ I can't kill youI
can't kill anything！ I can't kill anybody！ （Weeps。）
NANK。 Come； my poor fellow； we all have unpleasant duties
to discharge at times； after all； what is it？ If I don't mind；
why should you？ Remember； sooner or later it must be done。
KO。 （springing up suddenly）。 Must it？ I'm not so sure
about that！
NANK。 What do you mean？
KO。 Why should I kill you when making an affidavit that
you've been executed will do just as well？ Here are plenty of
witnessesthe Lord Chief Justice； Lord High Admiral；
Commander…in…Chief； Secretary of State for the Home Department；
First Lord of the Treasury； and Chief Commissioner of Police。
NANK。 But where are they？
KO。 There they are。 They'll all swear to itwon't you？
（To Pooh…Bah。）
POOH。 Am I to understand that all of us high Officers of
State are required to perjure ourselves to ensure your safety？
KO。 Why not！ You'll be grossly insulted； as usual。
POOH。 Will the insult be cash down； or at a date？
KO。 It will be a ready…money transaction。
POOH。 （Aside。） Well； it will be a useful discipline。
（Aloud。） Very good。 Choose your fiction； and I'll endorse it！
（Aside。） Ha！ ha！ Family Pride； how do you like that； my buck？
NANK。 But I tell you that life without Yum…Yum
KO。 Oh； Yum…Yum； Yum…Yum！ Bother Yum…Yum！ Here；
Commissionaire （to Pooh…Bah）； go and fetch Yum…Yum。 （Exit
Pooh…Bah。） Take Yum…Yum and marry Yum…Yum； only go away and never
come back again。 （Enter Pooh…Bah with Yum…Yum。） Here she is。
Yum…Yum； are you particularly busy？
YUM。 Not particularly。
KO。 You've five minutes to spare？
YUM。 Yes。
KO。 Then go along with his Grace the Archbishop of Titipu；
he'l