按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
A man about to lose his head？
For half an hour
You'll be his wife；
And then the dower
Is your for life。
A headless bridegroom why refuse？
If truth the poets tell；
Most bridegrooms； 'ere they marry；
Lose both head and heart as well！
ELSIE A strange proposal you reveal；
It almost makes my senses reel。
Alas！ I'm very poor indeed；
And such a sum I sorely need。
My mother； sir； is like to die。
This money life may bring。
Bear this in mind； I pray；
If I consent to do this thing！
POINT Though as a general rule of life
I don't allow my promised wife；
My lovely bride that is to be；
To marry anyone but me；
Yet if the fee is promptly paid；
And he； in well…earned grave；
Within the hour is duly laid；
Objection I will waive！
Yes； objection I will waive！
ALL Temptation； oh； temptation；
Were we； I pray； intended
To shun； what e'er our station；
Your fascinations splendid；
Or fall； whene'er we view you；
Head over heels into you？
Head over heels； Head over heels；
Head over heels into you！
Head over heels； Head over heels；
Head over heels； Right into you！
Head over heels； Head over heels； etc。
Temptation； oh； temptation！
＇During this； the LIEUTENANT has whispered to WILFRED
（who has entered）。 WILFRED binds ELSIE's eyes with a
kerchief； and leads her into the Cold Harbour Tower
LIEUT。 And so； good fellow； you are a jester？
POINT Aye； sir； and like some of my jests； out of place。
LIEUT。 I have a vacancy for such an one。 Tell me； what are
your qualifications for such a post？
POINT Marry； sir； I have a pretty wit。 I can rhyme you
extempore； I can convulse you with quip and
conundrum；I have the lighter philosophies at my
tongue's tip； I can be merry； wise； quaint； grim； and
sardonic； one by one； or all at once； I have a pretty
turn for anecdote； I know all the jests ancient and
modern past； present； and to come； I can riddle you
from dawn of day to set of sun； and； if that content
you not； well on to midnight and the small hours。 Oh；
sir； a pretty wit； I warrant you a pretty； pretty
wit！
No。 9。 I've jibe and joke
（SONG）
Point
POINT I've jibe and joke
And quip and crank
For lowly folk
And men of rank。
I ply my craft
And know no fear。
But aim my shaft
At prince or peer。
At peer or prince at prince or peer；
I aim my shaft and know no fear！
I've wisdom from the East and from the West；
That's subject to no academic rule；
You may find it in the jeering of a jest；
Or distil it from the folly of a fool。
I can teach you with a quip； if I've a mind；
I can trick you into learning with a laugh；
Oh； winnow all my folly； folly； folly； and
you'll find
A grain or two of truth among the chaff！
Oh； winnow all my folly； folly； folly； and
you'll find
A grain or two of truth among the chaff！
I can set a braggart quailing with a quip；
The upstart I can wither with a whim；
He may wear a merry laugh upon his lip；
But his laughter has an echo that is grim。
When they're offered to the world in merry
guise；
Unpleasant truths are swallowed with a will；
For he who'd make his fellow；
fellow； fellow creatures wise
Should always gild the philosophic pill！
For he who'd make his fellow；
fellow； fellow creatures wise
Should always gild the philosophic pill！
LIEUT。 And how came you to leave your last employ？
POINT Why； sir； it was in this wise。 My Lord was the
Archbishop of Canterbury； and it was considered that
one of my jokes was unsuited to His Grace's family
circle。 In truth； I ventured to ask a poor riddle；
sir Wherein lay the difference between His Grace and
poor Jack Point？ His Grace was pleased to give it up；
sir。 And thereupon I told him that whereas His Grace
was paid 10；000 a year for being good； poor Jack Point
was good for nothing。 'Twas but a harmless jest； but
it offended His Grace； who whipped me and set me in
the stocks for a scurril rogue； and so we parted。 I
had as lief not take post again with the dignified
clergy。
LIEUT。 But I trust you are very careful not to give offence。
I have daughters。
POINT Sir； my jests are most carefully selected； and
anything objectionable is expunged。 If your honour
pleases； I will try then first on your honour's
chaplain。
LIEUT。 Can you give me an example？ Say that I had sat me down
hurriedly on something sharp？
POINT Sir； I should say that you had sat down on the spur of
the moment。
LIEUT。 Humph！ I don't think much of that。 Is that the best
you can do？
POINT It has always been much admired； sir； but we will try
again。
LIEUT。 Well； then； I am at dinner； and the joint of meat is
but half cooked。
POINT Why then； sir； I should say that what is underdone
cannot be helped。
LIEUT。 I see。 I think that manner of thing would be somewhat
irritating。
POINT At first； sir； perhaps； but use is everything； and you
would come in time to like it。
LIEUT。 We will suppose that I caught you kissing the kitchen
wench under my very nose。
POINT Under her very nose； good sir not under yours！ That
is where I would kiss her。 Do you take me？ Oh； sir； a
pretty wit a pretty； pretty wit！
LIEUT。 The maiden comes。 Follow me； friend； and we will
discuss this matter at length in my library。
POINT I am your worship's servant。 That is to say； I trust
I soon shall be。 But； before proceeding to a more
serious topic； can you tell me； sir； why a cook's
brain…pan is like an overwound clock？
LIEUT。 A truce to this fooling follow me。
POINT Just my luck； my best conundrum wasted！
＇Exeunt LIEUTENANT and POINT。 Enter ELSIE from Tower； led
by WILFRED； who removes the bandage from her eyes； and
exits。
No。 10。 'Tis done！ I am a bride！
（RECITATIVE AND SONG）
Elsie
ELSIE 'Tis done！ I am a bride！ Oh； little ring；
That bearest in thy circlet all the gladness
That lovers hope for； and that poets sing；
What bringest thou to me but gold and sadness？
A bridegroom all unknown； save in this wise；
To…day he dies！ To…day； alas； he dies！
Though tear and long…drawn sigh
Ill fit a bride；
No sadder wife than I
The whole world wide！
Ah me！ Ah me！
Yet maids there be
Who would consent to lose
The very rose of youth；
The flow'r of life；
To be； in honest truth；
A wedded wife；
No matter whose！
No matter whose！
Ah me！ what profit we；
O maids that sigh；
Though gold； though gold should live
If wedded love must die？
Ere half an ho