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DUCH。 A sum in addition
They pay for permission
To say that they make for the Duchess
DUKE。 They make for the Duchess！
DUKE。 Those pressing prevailers；
The ready…made tailors；
Quote me as their great double…barrel
DUCH。 Their great double…barrel
DUKE。 I allow them to do so；
Though Robinson Crusoe
Would jib at their wearing apparel
DUCH。 Such wearing apparel！
DUKE。 I sit； by selection；
Upon the direction
Of several Companies bubble
DUCH。 All Companies bubble！
DUKE。 As soon as they're floated
I'm freely bank…noted
I'm pretty well paid for my trouble
DUCH。 He's paid for his trouble！
DUCH。 At middle…class party
I play at ecarte
And I'm by no means a beginner
DUKE （significantly）。 She's not a beginner。
DUCH。 To one of my station
The remuneration
Five guineas a night and my dinner
DUKE。 And wine with her dinner。
DUCH。 I write letters blatant
On medicines patent
And use any other you mustn't
DUKE。 Believe me； you mustn't
DUCH。 And vow my complexion
Derives its perfection
From somebody's soapwhich it doesn't
DUKE。 （significantly）。 It certainly doesn't！
DUKE。 We're ready as witness
To any one's fitness
To fill any place or preferment
DUCH。 A place or preferment。
DUCH。 We're often in waiting
At junket or feting；
And sometimes attend an interment
DUKE。 We enjoy an interment。
BOTH。 In short； if you'd kindle
The spark of a swindle；
Lure simpletons into your clutches
Yes； into your clutches。
Or hoodwink a debtor；
You cannot do better
DUCH。 Than trot out a Duke or a Duchess
DUKE。 A Duke or a Duchess！
（Enter Marco and Giuseppe。）
DUKE。 Ah！ Their Majesties。 Your Majesty！ （Bows with
great ceremony。）
MAR。 The Duke of Plaza…Toro； I believe？
DUKE。 The same。 （Marco and Giuseppe offer to shake hands
with him。 The Duke bows ceremoniously。 They endeavour to
imitate him。） Allow me to present
GIU。 The young lady one of us married？
（Marco and Giuseppe offer to shake hands with her。 Casilda
curtsies formally。 They endeavour to imitate her。）
CAS。 Gentlemen； I am the most obedient servant of one of
you。 （Aside。） Oh； Luiz！
DUKE。 I am now about to address myself to the gentleman
whom my daughter married； the other may allow his attention to
wander if he likes； for what I am about to say does not concern
him。 Sir； you will find in this young lady a combination of
excellences which you would search for in vain in any young lady
who had not the good fortune to be my daughter。 There is some
little doubt as to which of you is the gentleman I am addressing；
and which is the gentleman who is allowing his attention to
wander； but when that doubt is solved； I shall say （still
addressing the attentive gentleman）； 〃Take her； and may she make
you happier than her mother has made me。〃
DUCH。 Sir！
DUKE。 If possible。 And now there is a little matter to
which I think I am entitled to take exception。 I come here in
state with Her Grace the Duchess and Her Majesty my daughter； and
what do I find？ Do I find； for instance； a guard of honour to
receive me？ No！
MAR。 and GIU。 No。
DUKE。 The town illuminated？ No！
MAR。 and GIU。 No。
DUKE。 Refreshment provided？ No！
MAR。 and GIU。 No。
DUKE。 A Royal salute fired？ No！
MAR。 and GIU。 No。
DUKE。 Triumphal arches erected？ No！
MAR。 and GIU。 No。
DUKE。 The bells set ringing？
MAR。 and GIU。 No。
DUKE。 Yesonethe Visitors'； and I rang it myself。 It is
not enough！ It is not enough！
GIU。 Upon my honour； I'm very sorry； but you see； I was
brought up in a gondola； and my ideas of politeness are confined
to taking off my cap to my passengers when they tip me。
DUCH。 That's all very well in its way； but it is not
enough。
GIU。 I'll take off anything else in reason。
DUKE。 But a Royal Salute to my daughterit costs so
little。
CAS。 Papa； I don't want a salute。
GIU。 My dear sir； as soon as we know which of us is
entitled to take that liberty she shall have as many salutes as
she likes。
MAR。 As for guards of honour and triumphal arches； you
don't know our peoplethey wouldn't stand it。
GIU。 They are very off…hand with usvery off…hand indeed。
DUKE。 Oh； but you mustn't allow thatyou must keep them in
proper discipline； you must impress your Court with your
importance。 You want deportmentcarriage
GIU。 We've got a carriage。
DUKE。 Mannerdignity。 There must be a good deal of this
sort of thing（business）and a little of this sort of
thing（business）and possibly just a Soupcon of this sort of
thing！（business）and so on。 Oh； it's very useful； and most
effective。 Just attend to me。 You are a KingI am a subject。
Very good
（Gavotte。）
DUKE； DUCHESS； CASILDA； MARCO； GIUSEPPE。
DUKE。 I am a courtier grave and serious
Who is about to kiss your hand：
Try to combine a pose imperious
With a demeanour nobly bland。
MAR。 and Let us combine a pose imperious
GIU。 With a demeanour nobly bland。
（Marco and Giuseppe endeavour to carry out his instructions。）
DUKE。 That's； if anything； too unbending
Too aggressively stiff and grand；
（They suddenly modify their attitudes。）
Now to the other extreme you're tending
Don't be so deucedly condescending！
DUCH。 and Now to the other extreme you're tending
CAS。 Don't be so dreadfully condescending！
MAR。 and Oh； hard to please some noblemen seem！
GIU。 At first； if anything； too unbending；
Off we go to the other extreme
Too confoundedly condescending！
DUKE。 Now a gavotte perform sedately
Offer your hand with conscious pride；
Take an attitude not too stately；
Still sufficiently dignified。
MAR。 and Now for an attitude not too stately；
GIU。 Still sufficiently dignified。
（They endeavour to carry out his instructions。）
DUKE （beating Oncely； twicelyoncely； twicely
time）。 Bow impressively ere you glide。
（They
do so。）
Capital both； capital
bothyou've caught it nicely！
That is the style of thing precisely！
DUCH。 and Capital both； capital boththey've
caught it nicely！
CAS。 That is the style of thing precisely！
MAR。 and Oh； sweet to earn a nobleman's praise！
GIU。 Capital both； capital bothwe've caught it
nicely！
Supposing he's right in what he says；
This is the style of
thing precisely！
（Gavotte。 At the end exeunt Duke and Duchess； leaving Casilda
with Marco and Giuseppe。）
GIU。 （to Marco）。 The old birds have gone away and left the
young chickens together。 That's called tact。
MAR。 It's very awkward。 We really ought to tell her how we
are situated。 It's not fair to the girl。
GIU。 Then why don't you do it？
MAR。 I'd rather notyou。
GIU。 I don't know how to begin。 （To Casilda。）
ErMadamIwe； that is； several of us
CAS。 Gentlemen； I am bound to listen to you； but it is
right to tell you that； not knowing I was married in infancy； I
am over head and ears in love with somebody else。
GIU。 Our case exactly！ We are over head and ears in love
with somebody else！ （Enter Gianetta and Tessa。） In point of
fact； with our wives！
CAS。 Your wives！ Then you are married？
TESS。 It's not our fault。
GIA。 We knew nothing about it。
BOTH。 We are sisters in misfortune。
CAS。 My good girls； I don't blame you。 Only before we go
any further we must really arrive at some satisfactory
arrangement； or we shall get hopeles