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of his own。 His natural kindness of heart； and especially his love for
his wife； inclined him toward the teachings and customs of her Christian
faithunorthodox but sincere； as Christianity in the Langdon family was
likely to be。 It took very little persuasion on his wife's part to
establish family prayers in their home； grace before meals； and the
morning reading of a Bible chapter。 Joe Goodman； who made a trip East；
and visited them during the early days of their married life； was
dumfounded to see Mark Twain ask a blessing and join in family worship。
Just how long these forms continued cannot be known to…day； the time of
their abandonment has perished from the recollection of any one now
living。
It would seem to have been the Bible…reading that wrought the change。
The prayer and the blessing were to him sincere and gracious； but as the
readings continued he realized that he had never before considered the
Bible from a doctrinal point of view； as a guide to spiritual salvation。
To his logical reasoning mind； a large portion of it seemed absurd： a
mass of fables and traditions； mere mythology。 From such material
humanity had built its mightiest edifice of hope； the doctrines of its
faith。 After a little while he could stand it no longer。
〃Livy；〃 he said one day； 〃you may keep this up if you want to； but I must
ask you to excuse me from it。 It is making me a hypocrite。 I don't
believe in this Bible。 It contradicts my reason。 I can't sit here and
listen to it； letting you believe that I regard it； as you do； in the
light of gospel； the word of God。〃
He was moved to write an article on the human idea of God； ancient and
modern。 It contained these paragraphs：
The difference in importance； between the God of the Bible and the
God of the present day； cannot be described； it can only be vaguely
and inadequately figured to the mind 。 。 。 。 If you make figures
to represent the earth and moon； and allow a space of one inch
between them； to represent the four hundred thousand miles of
distance which lies between the two bodies； the map will have to be
eleven miles long in order to bring in the nearest fixed star。
＇His figures were far too small。 A map drawn on the scale of
400；000 miles to the inch would need to be 1；100 miles long to take
in both the earth and the nearest fixed star。 On such a map the
earth would be one…fiftieth of an inch in diameterthe size of a
small grain of sand。＇ So one cannot put the modern heavens on a
map； nor the modern God； but the Bible God and the Bible heavens can
be set down on a slate and yet not be discommoded 。 。 。 。
The difference between that universe and the modern one revealed by
science is as the difference between a dust…flecked ray in a barn
and the sublime arch of the Milky Way in the skies。 Its God was
strictly proportioned to its dimensions。 His sole solicitude was
about a handful of truculent nomads。 He worried and fretted over
them in a peculiarly and distractingly human way。 One day he coaxed
and petted them beyond their due； the next he harried and lashed
them beyond their deserts。 He sulked； he cursed； he raged； he
grieved； according to his mood and the circumstances； but all to no
purpose； his efforts were all vain； he could not govern them。 When
the fury was on him he was blind to all reasonhe not only
slaughtered the offender； but even his harmless little children and
dumb cattle。。。。
To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible； vindictive；
fierce and ever fickle and changeful master； to trust the true God
is to trust a Being who has uttered no promises； but whose
beneficent； exact； and changeless ordering of the machinery of his
colossal universe is proof that he is at least steadfast to his
purposes； whose unwritten laws； so far as they affect man； being
equal and impartial； show that he is just and fair； these things；
taken together； suggest that if he shall ordain us to live
hereafter； he will still be steadfast； just； and fair toward us。 We
shall not need to require anything more。
It seems mild enough； obvious； even orthodox； nowso far have we
traveled in forty years。 But such a declaration then would have shocked
a great number of sincerely devout persons。 His wife prevailed upon him
not to print it。 She respected his honestyeven his reasoning； but his
doubts were a long grief to her； nevertheless。 In time she saw more
clearly with his vision； but this was long after； when she had lived more
with the world； had become more familiar with its larger needs； and the
proportions of created things。
They did not mingle much or long with the social life of Buffalo。 They
received and returned calls； attended an occasional reception； but
neither of them found such things especially attractive in those days； so
they remained more and more in their own environment。 There is an
anecdote which seems to belong here。
One Sunday morning Clemens noticed smoke pouring from the upper window of
the house across the street。 The owner and his wife； comparatively
newcomers； were seated upon the veranda； evidently not aware of impending
danger。 The Clemens household thus far had delayed calling on them； but
Clemens himself now stepped briskly across the street。 Bowing with
leisurely politeness； he said：
〃My name is Clemens； we ought to have called on you before； and I beg
your pardon for intruding now in this informal way； but your house is on
fire。〃
Almost the only intimate friends they had in Buffalo were in the family
of David Gray； the poet…editor of the Courier。 Gray was a gentle；
lovable man。 〃The gentlest spirit and the loveliest that ever went
clothed in clay； since Sir Galahad laid him to rest；〃 Mark Twain once
said of him。 Both Gray and Clemens were friends of John Hay； and their
families soon became intimate。 Perhaps； in time； the Clemens household
would have found other as good friends in the Buffalo circles； but heavy
clouds that had lain unseen just beyond the horizon during those earlier
months of marriage rose suddenly into view； and the social life； whatever
it might have become； was no longer a consideration。
LXXIX
THE OLD HUMAN STORY
Jervis Langdon was never able to accept his son…in…law's invitation to
the new home。 His health began to fail that spring； and at the end of
March； with his physician and Mrs。 Langdon； he made a trip to the South。
In a letter written at Richmond he said； 〃I have thrown off all care；〃
and named a list of the four great interests in which he was involved。
Under 〃number 5；〃 he included 〃everything；〃 adding； 〃so you see how good
I am to follow the counsel of my children。〃 He closed： 〃Samuel； I love
your wife and she loves me。 I think it is only fair that you should know
it； but you need not flare up。 I loved her before you did； and she loved
me before she did you； and has not ceased since。 I see no way but for
you to make the most of it。〃 He was already a very ill man； and this
cheerful letter was among the last he ever wrote。
He was absent six weeks and seemed to improve； but suffered an attack
early in May； in June his condition became critical。 Clemens and his
wife were summoned to Elmira； and joined in the nursing； day and night。
Clemens surprised every one by his ability as a nurse。 His delicacy and
thoughtfulness were unfailing； his original ways of doing things always
amused and interested the patient。 In later years Mark Twain once said：
〃How much of the nursing did I do？ My main watch was from midnight
to four in the morning； nearly four hours。 My other watch was a
midday watch； and I think it was nearly three hours。 The two
sisters divided the remaining seventeen hours of the twenty…four
hours between them； and each of them tried generously and
persistently to swindle the other out of a part of her watch。 I
went to bed early every night； and tried to get sleep enough by
midnight to fit me for my work； but it was always a failure。 I went
on watch sleepy and remained miserable； sleepy； and wretched；
straight along through the four hours。 I can still see myself
sitting by that bed in the melancholy stillness of the sweltering
night； mechanically waving a palm…leaf fan over the drawn； white
face of the patient。 I can still recall my noddings； my fleeting
unconsciousness； when the fan would come to a standstill in my hand；
and I woke up with a start and a hideous shock。 During all that
dreary time I began to watch for the dawn long before it came。 When
the first faint gray showed through the window…blinds I felt as no
doubt a castaway feels when the dim threads of the looked…for ship
appear against the sky。 I was well and strong； but I was a man；
afflicted with a man's infirmitylack of endurance。〃
He always dealt with himself in this unsparing way； but those who were
about him then have left a different story。
It was all without avail。 Mr。 L