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salutation。 But then Nello standing still； looked him stedfastly in
the face： whereat Calandrino mervailing； sayd。 Nello。
Why dost thou behold me so advisedly？ Whereunto Nello answered；
saying Hast thou felt any paine this last night past？ Thou lookest
nothing so well； as thou didst yesterday。 Calandrino began instantly
to wax doubtfull； and replyed thus。 Dost thou see any alteration in my
face； whereby to imagine； I should feele some paine？ In good faith
Calandrino （quoth Nello） me thinks thy countenance is strangely
changed； and surely it proceedeth from some great cause； and so he
departed away from him。
Calandrino being very mistrustfull； scratched his head； yet felte he
no grievance at all； and going still on； Buffalmaco sodainely
encountred him； upon his departure from Nello； and after salutations
passing betweene them； in a manner of admiration； demanded what he
ayled？
Truly （quoth Calandrino） well enough to mine owne thinking； yet
notwithstanding； I met with Nello but even now； and he told me； that
my countenance was very much altred； Is it possible that I should
bee sicke； and feele no paine or distaste in any part of me？
Buffalmaco answered； I am not so skilfull in judgement； as to argue on
the Nature of distemper in the body： but sure I am； that thou hast
some daungerous inward impediment； because thou lookst （almost） like a
man more then halfe dead。
Calandrino began presently to shake； as if hee had had a Feaver
hanging on him； and then came Bruno looking fearefully on him； and
before he would utter any words； seemed greatly to bemoane him； saying
at length。 Calandrino？ Art thou the same man； or no？ How wonderfuly
art thou changed since last I saw thee； which is no longer then yester
day？ I pray thee tell mee； How dooest thou feele thy health？
Calandrino hearing； that they all agreed in one opinion of him； he
beganne verily to perswade himselfe； that some sodaine sicknes； had
seised upon him； which they could discerne； although hee felt no
anguish at all： and therefore； like a man much perplexed in minde；
demanded of them； What he should do？ Beleeve me Calandrino （answered
Bruno） if I were worthy to give thee counsell； thou shouldst returne
home presently to thy house； and lay thee downe in thy warme Bedde；
covered with so many cloathes as thou canst well endure。 Then to
Morrow morning； send thy Water unto Learned Mayster Doctor the
Physitian； who （as thou knowest） is a man of most singular skill and
experience： he will instruct thee presently what is the best course to
be taken； and we that have ever beene thy loving friends； will not
faile thee in any thing that lieth in our power。
By this time； Nello being come againe unto them； they all returned
home with Calandrino unto his owne house； whereinto he entering very
faintly； hee saide to his Wife： Woman； make my Bed presently ready；
for I feele my selfe to be growne extreamely sicke； and see that
thou layest cloathes enow upon me。 Being thus laide in his Bedde； they
left him for that night； and returned to visite him againe the verie
next morning； by which time； he had made a reservation of his Water；
and sent it by a young Damosell unto Maister Doctor； who dwelt then in
the olde market place； at the signe of the Muske Mellone。 Then saide
Bruno unto his Companions； Abide you heere to keepe him company； and I
will walke along to the Physitian； to understand what he will say： and
if neede be； I can procure him to come hither with me。 Calandrino very
kindely accepted his offer； saying withall。 Well Bruno； thou shewst
thy selfe a friend in the time of necessity； I pray thee know of
him； how the case stands with me； for I feele a very strange
alteration within mee； far beyond all compasse of my conceite。
Bruno being gone to the Physitian； he made such expedition； that
he arrived there before the Damosell； who carried the Water； and
informed Master Simon with the whole tricke intended： wherefore；
when the Damosell was come； and hee had passed his judgement
concerning the water； he said to her。
Maide； go home againe； and tell Calandrino； that he must keep
himselfe very warme： and I my selfe will instantly be with him； to
enstruct him further in the quality of his sicknesse。
The Damosell delivered her message accordingly； and it was not
long before Mayster Doctor Simon came； with Bruno also in his company；
and sitting downe on the beds side by Calandrino； hee began to taste
his pulse； and within a small while after； his Wife being come into
the Chamber； he said。 Observe me well Calandrino； for I speake to thee
in the nature of a true friend； thou hast no other disease； but only
thou art great with child。
So soone as Calandrino heard these words； in dispairing manner he
beganne to rage； and cry out aloud； saying to his wife Ah thou
wicked woman； this is long of thee； and thou hast done me this
mischeefe for alwayes thou wilt be upon me； ever railing at mee； and
fighting； untill thou hast gotten me under thee。 Say thou divellish
creature； do I not tell thee true？ The Woman； being of verie honest
and civill conversation； hearing her husband speake so foolishly：
blushing with shame； and hanging downe her head in bashfull manner；
without returning any answer； went forth of her Chamber。
Calandrino continuing still in his angry humour； wringing his hands；
and beating them upon his breast； said： Wretched man that I am； What
shall I do？ How shal I be delivered of this child？ Which way can it
come from me into the world？ I plainly perceyve； that I am none
other then a dead man； and all through the wickednesse of my Wife：
heaven plague her with as many mischiefes； as I am desirous to finde
ease。 Were I now in as good health； as heere…tofore I have beene； I
would rise out of my bed； and never cease beating her； untill I had
broken her in a thousand peeces。 But if Fortune will be so
favourable to me； as to helpe mee out of this dangerous agony： hang
me； if ever she get me under her againe； or make me such an Asse； in
having the mastery over mee； as diuers times she hath done。
Bruno； Buffalmaco and Nello； hearing these raving speeches of
Calandrino； were swolne so bigge with laughter； as if their ribbes
would have burst in sunder； neverthelesse； they abstained so well as
they were able； but Doctor Simon gaped so wide with laughing as one
might easily have pluckt out all his teeth。 In the end； because he
could tarry there no longer； but was preparing to depart： Calandrino
thanked him for his paines； requesting that hee would be carefull of
him； in aiding him with his best advise and counsell； and he would not
be unmindfull of him。 Honest neighbour Calandrino； answered the
Phisition； I would not have you to torment your selfe； in such an
impatient and tempestuous manner； because I perceive the time so to
hasten on； as we shall soone perceive （and that within very few
dayes space） your health well restored； and without the sense of
much paine； but indeed it wil cost expences。 Alas Sir； said
Calandrino； mak not any spare of my purse； to procure that I may
have safe deliverance。 I have two hundred Florines； lately falne to me
by the death of mine Aunt； wherewith I intended to purchase a Farme in
the Countrey： take them all if need be； onely reserving some few for
my lying in Childbed。 And then Master Doctor； Alas； I know not how
to behave my selfe； for I have heard the grievous complaint of women
in that case； oppressed with bitter pangs and throwes； as
questionlesse they will bee my death； except you have the greater care
of me。
Be of good cheere neighbour Calandrino； replyed Doctor Simon； I will
provide an excellent distilled drinke for you； marveilously pleasing
in taste； and of soveraigne vertue； which will resolve all in three
mornings； making you as whole and as sound as a Fish newly spawned。
But you must have an especiall care afterward； being providently wise；
least you fall into the like follies againe。 Concerning the
preparation of this precious drinke； halfe a dozen of Capons； the very
fairest and fattest； I must make use of in the distillation： what
other things shall bee imployed beside； you may deliver forty Florines
to one of these your honest friends； to see all the necessaries bought
and sent me home to my house。 Concerning my businesse； make you no
doubt thereof； for I will have all distilled against to morrow； and
then doe you drinke a great Glasse full every morning； fresh and
fasting next your heart。 Calandrino was highly pleased with his words；
returning master Doctor infinite thankes； and referring all to his
disposing。 And having given forty Florines to Bruno； with other
money beside； to buy the halfe dozen of Capons： he thought himselfe
greatly beholding to them all； and protested to requite their
kindenesse。
Master Doctor being gone home to his house； made ready a bottel of
very excellent Hypocrasse； which he sent the next day according to his
promise： and Bruno having bought the Capons； with other junkets； fit
for the turne； the Phisitian and his merry Companions； fed on them
hartely for the givers sake。 As for Calandrino； he liked his dyet
drinke excellently well； quaffing a large Glassefull off three
morn