按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
dark spirit deep down in him supported her wild rebellions； her irreverences； her irreligion； her scorn of tradition。 Oh！ she was a witch！ Grace's word for her was right； but not Grace's sense of it。 The more Grace was shocked the more tempting to him the witch became。 It had seemed to him； that day in Katherine's drawing…room； so slight a thing when she had said that she did not love him； he had no doubt but that he could change that。 How could a child； so raw and ignorant； resist such a man？ And yet she had resisted。 That resistance had been at the root of the trouble。 Whichever way things went now； he was a defeated man。
The door opened and Grace came in。 Looking at her he realised that she would never understand the struggle through which he had been timorously wading； and saw that she was further away from him than she had ever been before。 He blamed her too。 She had had no right to refuse that man to Maggie。 Had she allowed Maggie to see him none of this might have occurred。 The man was a forger and would； had he lived； have gone to prison； but there would not then have been the same open scandal。 No； he blamed Grace。 It might be that their old absolutely confident intimacy would never be renewed。 He felt cold and lonely。 He bent forward； putting some coal on the fire； breaking it up into a cheerful blaze。 Then he looked up at her； and his heart was touched。 She looked to…day an old woman。 Her hair was untidy and her face was dull grey in colour。 Her eyes moved restlessly round the room； wandering from picture to picture； from the mantelpiece to the chairs； from the chairs to the book…shelves； as though she sought in the sight of these well…remembered things some defence and security。
〃Is your head better？〃 he asked her； not meeting her eyes； because the dull pain in them disturbed him。
〃Not much；〃 she said。 〃It's very bad； my head。 I've taken aspirin。 I didn't eat anything yesterday。 Nothing at all except some bread and milk； and very little of that 。 。 。 I couldn't finish it。 I felt I'd be sick。 I said to Emily； 'Emily； if I eat any more of that I'll be sick；' and Emily advised me not to touch it。 What I mean is that if I'd eaten any more I'd have been really sickat least that's what I felt like。〃
Her restless eyes came suddenly to a jerking pause as though some one had caught and gripped them。 She was suddenly dramatic。 〃Oh。 Paul； what are we going to do？〃 she cried。
Paul was irritated by that。 He hated to be asked direct questions as to policy。
〃What do you mean what are we going to do？〃 he asked。
〃Why； about thisabout everything。 We shall have to leave Skeaton； you know。 Fancy what people are saying！〃
Suddenly； as though the thought of the scandal was too much for her； her knees gave way and she flopped into a chair。
〃Well。 let them say！〃 he answered vigorously。 〃Grace； you're making too much of all this。 You'll be ill if you aren't careful。 Pull yourself together。〃 〃Of course we've got to go；〃 she answered。 〃If you think that we can go on living here after all that's happened〃
〃Well； why not？〃 he interrupted。 〃We haven't done anything。 It's only〃
〃I know what you're going to say。〃 （It was one of Grace's most irritating habits that she finished other people's sentences for them in a way that they had not intended） 〃that if they look at it properly they'll see that it wasn't our fault。 But will they look at it properly？ Of course they won't。 You know what cats they are。 They're only waiting for a chance。 What I mean is that this is just the chance they've been waiting for。〃
〃How can you go on and every time you preach they'll be looking up at you and saying 'There's a brother of a murderer'？ Why； fancy what you'd feel！〃
Paul jumped in his chair。 〃What do you mean； Grace？ The brother of a murderer？〃
〃What else am I？〃 Grace began to warm her podgy hands。 〃It came out at the inquest that I wouldn't see the man； didn't it？ Maggie thinks me a murderer。 I see it in her eyes every time。 What I mean to say； Paul； is； What are you going to do about Maggie？〃
Grace's voice changed at that question。 It was as though that other trouble of the scandal were nothing to her compared with this matter of Maggie's presence。 Paul turned and looked at her。 She dropped her voice to a whisper and went on：
〃I won't stay with Maggie any more。 No； no； no！ You must choose； Paul； between Maggie and me。 What I mean is that it simply isn't safe in the same house with her。 You may not have noticed it yourself； but I've seen it coming on a long time。 I have indeed。 She isn't right in her head； and she hates me。 She's always hated me。 She'd like to do me an injury。 She follows me round the house。 She's always watching me； and now that she thinks that I killed her uncle it's worse。 I'm not safe； Paul； and that's the truth。 She hides in my room behind the curtains waiting for me。 It's my safety you've got to consider。 It's me or her。 I know she's your wife； but what I mean is that there'll be something awful happening if you aren't careful。〃
Grace； as she spoke； was a woman in the very heart of a desperate panic。 Her whole body trembled； her face was transfixed as though she saw Maggie standing in front of her there with a knife。 No one looking at her could deny that she was in mortal terrorno affectation here。 And Paul loved her。 He came over to her and put his arm round her； she caught hold of his hand； clutched it desperately。 When he felt the trembling of her body beneath his hand his love for her and protective care of her overwhelmed him。
〃Grace； dear； it's all right；〃 he said。 〃You're exaggerating all this。 Maggie wouldn't hurt a flyindeed； she wouldn't。 She has her faults； perhaps； but cruelty isn't one of them。 You must remember that she's had a bad time lately losing her aunt and then finding her uncle in that horrible way。 After all； she's only a child。 I know that you two haven't got on well together； and I daresay that it has been very largely my fault； but you mustn't be frightened like that。 No harm shall come to you so long as I am aliveno harm whatever。〃
But she stared in front of her； like a woman in a dream； repeating
〃No； no； Paul。 Either she goes or I go。 She's your wife。 She must stay。 Then I must go。 I can't stand it； I can't indeed。 I'm not sleeping； I'm not indeed。 It isn't fair to ask it。 What I mean is that it isn't fair to me。〃
Although he had known Grace for years he still believed her threats and promises。 〃My sister's an obstinate woman；〃 he would say； although had he looked truly into his experience he must have seen that she changed her mind more frequently by far than she changed her clothes。 He thought that now she meant what she said； indeed； on his own side he really did not see how in the future Maggie and Grace could continue to live in the same house。 But； as Grace had said； he was married to Maggie and therefore it was Grace that must go。 Then when he confronted the fact of Grace's departure he could not endure it。 No； he could not。 Had Maggie been everything to him that she might have been； bad she been his true wife； had she loved him； had sheoh！ a thousand things she might have been！then perhaps life would be possible without Grace。 But now！ 。 。 。 at the thought of being alone for ever with Maggie a strange passion； mingled of fascination and fear； affection and sensuality； cowardice and excitement； pervaded him。 What would their life together be？ Then he turned to Grace as the very rock of his safety。
〃Oh； Grace； you mustn't goyou mustn't think of going。 Whatever should I do without you？〃
A dull flush of gratification coloured her cheeks。
〃Either she goes or I；〃 she repeated。 〃It can't go on。 You must see that it can't。 Fancy what people must be thinking！〃
As always； he postponed the issue。 〃We'll settle something。 Don't you worry； dear。 You go and lie down。 That's what you wanta thorough good rest。〃
She plodded off。 For himself he decided that fresh air was what he needed。 He went for a stroll。 As soon as he was in the Charleston Road that led to the High Street he was pleased with the day。 Early spring； mild； faint haze； trees dimly purple； a bird clucking； the whisper of the sea stirring the warm puddles and rivulets across the damp dim road。 Warm； yes； warm and promising。 Lent 。 。 。 tiresome。 Long services； gloomy sermons。 Rebuking people； scolding themmade them angry； did them no good。 Then Easter。 That was better。 Jolly hymns。 〃Christ is risen！ Christ is risen！〃 Jolly flowersprimroses； crocuses（no； they were earlier）。 They'll have forgotten about Maggie's uncle by then。 Live it downthat's the thing。 Give them a good genial sermon this Sunday。 Show them he wasn't caring 。 。 。 If only the women would get on together。 Womenwomen。 How difficult they were！ Yes； Sunday would be difficultfacing them all。 He knew what they'd be thinking。 He wanted to be jolly again。 Jolly。 That was the thing。 Joking with Grace； jolly even with Maggie。 Jolly with his congregation。 Jolly with God。 Why wasn't he left alone？ Had been until Maggie came。 Maggie like a stone flung into a frosty pool！ Broke everything up； simply because she was unlike other people。 He'd married her because he thought he could make her into what he pleased。 Well； it had been the other w