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hy I like you and will be a friend to you too。〃
〃I tell you I don't want your damned friendship；〃 Martin cried。 〃I don't want to have anything to do with you or your opinion or your plans or anything else。〃
〃That's all right；〃 said Thurston。 〃I quite understand。 It's natural enough to feel as you do。 But I'm afraid you'll 'ave to 'ave something to do with me。 I'm not quite what you think me； and you're not quite what you think yourself。 There's two of each of us； that's the truth of it。 I may be a sham and a charlatan； one part of me； I don't know I'm sure。 I certainly don't believe all your governor does。 I don't believe all I say and I don't say all I think。 But then 'oo does？ You don't yourself。 I'll even tell you straight out that when I just came into the business I laughed at the lot of 'em； your father and all。 'A silly lot o' softs they are；' I said to myself； 'to believe all that nonsense。' But nowI don't know。 When you've been at this game a bit you scarcely know what you do believe； that's the truth of it。 There may be something in it after all。 Sometimes 。 。 。 well； it 'ud surprise you if you'd seen all the things I have。 Oh； I don't mean ghosts and spirits and all that kind of nonsense。 No； but the kind of thing that 'appens to people you'd never expect。 You're getting caught into it yourself； I've watched you all along。 But that isn't the point。 The point is that I'm not so bad as you think； nor so simple neither。 And life isn't so simple； nor religion； nor love； nor anything as you think it。 You're young yet； you know。 Very young。〃
Martin turned back to the door。
〃All very interesting； Thurston；〃 he said。 〃You can think what you like； of course。 All the same； the less we see of one another〃
〃Well；〃 said Thurston slowly； smiling。 〃That'll be a bit difficult to avoid one another； I mean。 You see； I'm going to marry your sister。〃
Martin laughed。 Inside him something was saying： 〃Now； look out。 This is all a trap。 He doesn't mean what he says。 He's trying to catch you。〃
〃Going to marry Amy？ Oh no； you're not。〃
Thurston did not appear to be interested in anything that Martin had to say。 He continued as though he were pursuing his own thoughts。 〃Yes 。 。 。 so it'll be difficult。 I didn't think you'd like it when you heard。 I said to Amy； 'E won't like it；' I said。 She said you'd been too long away from the family to judge。 And so you have； you know。 Oh！ Amy and I'll be right enough。 She's a fine woman； your sister。〃
Martin burst out：
〃Well； then； that settles it。 It simply settles it。 That finishes it。〃
〃Finishes what ？〃 asked Thurston； smiling in a friendly way。
〃Never you mind。 It's nothing to do with you。 Has my father consented？〃
〃Yes 。 。 。 said all 'e wanted was for Amy to be 'appy。 And so she will be。 I'll look after her。 You'll come round to it in time。〃
〃Father agrees 。 。 。 My God！ But it's impossible！ Don't you see？ Don't you see？ I 。 。 。〃
The sudden sense of his impotence called back his words。 He felt nothing but rage and indignation against the whole set of them； against the house they were in； the very table with the papers blowing upon it and the candle shining 。 。 。 Well； it made his own affair more simplethat was certain。 He must be offright away from them all。 Stay in the house with that fellow for a brother…in… law？ Stay when 。 。 。
〃It's all right；〃 said Thurston； moistening his pale dry lips with his tongue。 〃You'll see it in time。 It's the best thing that could 'appen。 And we've got more in common than you'd ever suppose。 We 'ave； really。 You're a religious man； reallycan't escape your destiny； you know。 There's religious and non…religious and it doesn't matter what your creed is； whether you're a Christian or a 'Ottentot； there it is。 And if you're religious； you're religious。 I may be the greatest humbug on the market； but I'm religious。 It's like 'aving a 'are lipyou'll be bothered with it all your life。〃
But what more Thurston may have said Martin did not hear： he had left the room； banging the door behind him。 On what was his indignation based？ Injured pride。 And was he really indignant？ Was not something within him elated； because by this he had been offered his freedom？ Thurston marry his sister？ 。 。 。 He could go his own way now。 Even his father could not expect him to remain。
And he wanted Maggieurgently； passionately。 Standing for a moment there in the dark passage he wanted her。 He was lonely； disregarded； despised。
They did not care for him here； no one cared for him anywhereonly Maggie who was clear…eyed and truthful and sure beyond any human being whom he had ever known。 Then； with a very youthful sense of challenging this world that had so grossly insulted him by admitting Thurston into the heart of it； he joined the tea…party。 There in the pink； close； sugar…smelling； soft atmosphere sat his mother； Amy； Mrs。 Alweed and little Miss Pyncheon。 His mother； with her lace cap and white hair and soft plump hands； was pouring tea through a strainer as though it were a rite。 On her plate were three little frilly papers that had held sugary cakes； on her lips were fragments of sugar。 Amy； in an ugly grey dress； sat severely straight upon a hard chair and was apparently listening to Miss Pyncheon； but her eyes； suspicious and restless； moved like the eyes of a newly captured animal。 Mrs。 Alweed； stout in pink with a large hat full of roses； smiled and smiled； waiting only for a moment when she could amble off once again into space safe on the old broad back of her family experiences； the only conversational steed to whose care she ever entrusted herself。 She had a son Hector； a husband； Mr。 Alweed； and a sister…in…law； Miss Alweed； she had the greatest confidence in the absorbed attention of the slightest of her acquaintances。 〃Hector； he's my boy； you knowalthough why I call him a boy I can't thinkbecause he's twenty…two and a halfhe's at Cambridge； Christs Collegewell； this morning I had a letter 。 。 。〃 she would begin。 She began now upon Martin。 His mind wandered。 He looked about the little room and thought of Thurston。 Why was he not more angry about it all？ He had pretended to be indignant； he had hated Thurston as he stood there 。 。 。 But had he？ Half of him hated him。 Then with a jerk Thurston's words came back to him： 〃There's two of each of us； that's the truth of it。〃 〃Two of each of us 。 。 。〃 Sitting there； listening to Mrs。 Alweed's voice that flowed like a river behind him； he saw the two figures； saw them quite clearly and distinctly； flesh and blood； even clothes and voices and smile。 And he knew that all his life these two figures had been growing； waiting for the moment when he would recognise them。 One figure was the Martin whom he knewbrown； healthy； strong and sane； a figure wearing his clothes； his own clothes； the tweeds and the cloths； the brogues and the heavy boots； the soft untidy hats； the figure was hard； definite； resolute； quarrelling； arguing； loving； joking； swearing all in the sensible way。 It was a figure that all the world had understood； that had been drunk often enough； lent other men money； been hard…up and extravagant and thoughtless。 〃A good chap。〃 〃A sensible fellow。〃 〃A pal。〃 〃No flies on Warlock。〃 That was the kind of figure。 And the life had been physical； had never asked questions； had never known morbidity； had lived on what it saw and could touch and could break 。 。 。 And the other figure！ That was； physically； less plainly seen。 No； there it was； standing a little away from the other； standing away； contemptuously； despising it； deriding it。 Fat； soft； white hanging cheeks； wearing anything to cover its body； but shining in some way through the clothes； so that it was body that you saw。 A soft body； hands soft and the colour of the flesh pale and unhealthy。 But it was the eyes that spoke： the mouth trembled and was weak； the chin was fat and feeble； but the eyes lived； livedwere eager； fighting； beseeching； longing； captive eyes！
And this figure； Martin knew； was a prey to every morbid desire； rushed to sensual excess and then crept back miserably to search for some spiritual flagellation。 Above all； it was restless； as some one presses round a dark room searching for the lock of the door； restless and lonely； cowardly and selfish； but searching and sensitive and even faithful； faithful to something or to some one 。 。 。 pursued also by something or some one。 A figure to whom this world offered only opportunities for sin and failure and defeat； but a figure to whom this world was the merest shadow hiding； as a shade hides a lamp； the life within。 Wretched enough with its bad health； its growing corpulence； its weak mouth； its furtive desires； but despising； nevertheless； the strong； healthy figure beside it。 Thurston was right。 Men are not born to be free； but to fight； to the very death； for the imprisonment and destruction of all that is easiest and most physically active and most pleasant to the sight and touch 。 。 。
〃And so Hector really hopes that he'll be able to get down to us for Christmas； although he's been asked to go on this reading party。 Of course； it's simply a question as to whether he works better at home or with his friends。 If he were a weak character； I think Mr。 Alweed wou