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the garden of allah-第42章

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Ten days had passed since the ride to Sidi…Zerzourdays rather like a
dream to Domini。

What she had sought in coming to Beni…Mora she was surely finding。 Her
act was bringing forth its fruit。 She had put a gulf; in which rolled
the sea; between the land of the old life and the land in which at
least the new life was to begin。 The completeness of the severance had
acted upon her like a blow that does not stun; but wakens。 The days
went like a dream; but in the dream there was the stir of birth。 Her
lassitude was permanently gone。 There had been no returning after the
first hours of excitement。 The frost that had numbed her senses had
utterly melted away。 Who could be frost…bound in this land of fire?
She had longed for peace and she was surely finding it; but it was a
peace without stagnation。 Hope dwelt in it; and expectancy; vague but
persistent。 As to forgetfulness; sometimes she woke from the dream and
was almost dazed; almost ashamed to think how much she was forgetting;
and how quickly。 Her European life and friendssome of them intimate
and closewere like a far…off cloud on the horizon; flying still
farther before a steady wind that set from her to it。 Soon it would
disappear; would be as if it had never been。 Now and then; with a sort
of fierce obstinacy; she tried to stay the flight she had desired; and
desired still。 She said to herself; 〃I will remember。 It's
contemptible to forget like this。 It's weak to be able to。〃 Then she
looked at the mountains or the desert; at two Arabs playing the
ladies' game under the shadow of a cafe wall; or at a girl in dusty
orange filling a goatskin pitcher at a well beneath a palm tree; and
she succumbed to the lulling influence; smiling as they smile who hear
the gentle ripple of the waters of Lethe。

She heard them perhaps most clearly when she wandered in Count
Anteoni's garden。 He had made her free of it in their first interview。
She had ventured to take him at his word; knowing that if he repented
she would divine it。 He had made her feel that he had not repented。
Sometimes she did not see him as she threaded the sandy alleys between
the little rills; hearing the distant song of Larbi's amorous flute;
or sat in the dense shade of the trees watching through a window…space
of quivering golden leaves the passing of the caravans along the
desert tracks。 Sometimes a little wreath of ascending smoke; curling
above the purple petals of bougainvilleas; or the red cloud of
oleanders; told her of his presence; in some retired thinking…place。
Oftener he joined her; with an easy politeness that did not conceal
his oddity; but clothed it in a pleasant garment; and they talked for
a while or stayed for a while in an agreeable silence that each felt
to be sympathetic。

Domini thought of him as a new species of mana hermit of the world。
He knew the world and did not hate it。 His satire was rarely quite
ungentle。 He did not strike her as a disappointed man who fled to
solitude in bitterness of spirit; but rather as an imaginative man
with an unusual feeling for romance; and perhaps a desire for freedom
that the normal civilised life restrained too much。 He loved thought
as many love conversation; silence as some love music。 Now and then he
said a sad or bitter thing。 Sometimes she seemed to be near to
something stern。 Sometimes she felt as if there were a secret link
which connected him with the perfume…seller in his little darkened
chamber; with the legions who prayed about the tomb of Sidi…Zerzour。
But these moments were rare。 As a rule he was whimsical and kind; with
the kindness of a good…hearted man who was human even in his
detachment from ordinary humanity。 His humour was a salt with plenty
of savour。 His imagination was of a sort which interested and even
charmed her。

She felt; too; that she interested him and that he was a man not
readily interested in ordinary human beings。 He had seen too many and
judged too shrewdly and too swiftly to be easily held for very long。
She had no ambition to hold him; and had never in her life consciously
striven to attract or retain any man; but she was woman enough to find
his obvious pleasure in her society agreeable。 She thought that her
genuine adoration of the garden he had made; of the land in which it
was set; had not a little to do with the happy nature of their
intercourse。 For she felt certain that beneath the light satire of his
manner; his often smiling airs of detachment and quiet independence;
there was something that could seek almost with passion; that could
cling with resolution; that could even love with persistence。 And she
fancied that he sought in the desert; that he clung to its mystery;
that he loved it and the garden he had created in it。 Once she had
laughingly called him a desert spirit。 He had smiled as if with
contentment。

They knew little of each other; yet they had become friends in the
garden which he never left。

One day she said to him:

〃You love the desert。 Why do you never go into it?〃

〃I prefer to watch it;〃 he relied。 〃When you are in the desert it
bewilders you。〃

She remembered what she had felt during her first ride with Androvsky。

〃I believe you are afraid of it;〃 she said challengingly。

〃Fear is sometimes the beginning of wisdom;〃 he answered。 〃But you are
without it; I know。〃

〃How do you know?〃

〃Every day I see you galloping away into the sun。〃

She thought there was a faint sound of warningor was it of rebuke
in his voice。 It made her feel defiant。

〃I think you lose a great deal by not galloping into the sun too;〃 she
said。

〃But if I don't ride?〃

That made her think of Androvsky and his angry resolution。 It had not
been the resolution of a day。 Wearied and stiffened as he had been by
the expedition to Sidi…Zerzour; actually injured by his fallshe knew
from Batouch that he had been obliged to call in the Beni…Mora doctor
to bandage his shouldershe had been roused at dawn on the day
following by his tread on the verandah。 She had lain still while it
descended the staircase; but then the sharp neighing of a horse had
awakened an irresistible curiosity in her。 She had got up; wrapped
herself in a fur coat and slipped out on to the verandah。 The sun was
not above the horizon line of the desert; but the darkness of night
was melting into a luminous grey。 The air was almost cold。 The palms
looked spectral; even terrible; the empty and silent gardens
melancholy and dangerous。 It was not an hour for activity; for
determination; but for reverie; for apprehension。

Below; a sleepy Arab boy; his hood drawn over his head; held the
chestnut horse by the bridle。 Androvsky came out from the arcade。 He
wore a cap pulled down to his eyebrows which changed his appearance;
giving him; as seen from above; the look of a groom or stable hand。 He
stood for a minute and stared at the horse。 Then he limped round to
the left side and carefully mounted; following out the directions
Domini had given him the previous day: to avoid touching the animal
with his foot; to have the rein in his fingers before leaving the
ground; and to come down in the saddle as lightly as possible。 She
noted that all her hints were taken with infinite precaution。 Once on
the horse he tried to sit up straight; but found the effort too great
in his weary and bruised condition。 He leaned forward over the saddle
peak; and rode away in the luminous greyness towards the desert。 The
horse went quietly; as if affected by the mystery of the still hour。
Horse and rider disappeared。 The Arab boy wandered off in the
direction of the village。 But Domini remained looking after Androvsky。
She saw nothing but the grim palms and the spectral atmosphere in
which the desert lay。 Yet she did not move till a red spear was thrust
up out of the east towards the last waning star。

He had gone to learn his lesson in the desert。

Three days afterwards she rode with him again。 She did not let him
know of her presence on the verandah; and he said nothing of his
departure in the dawn。 He spoke very little and seemed much occupied
with his horse; and she saw that he was more than determinedthat he
was apt at acquiring control of a physical exercise new to him。 His
great strength stood him in good stead。 Only a man hard in the body
could have so rapidly recovered from the effects of that first day of
defeat and struggle。 His absolute reticence about his efforts and the
iron will that prompted them pleased Domini。 She found them worthy of
a man。

She rode with him on three occasions; twice in the oasis through the
brown villages; once out into the desert on the caravan road that
Batouch had told her led at last to Tombouctou。 They did not travel
far along it; but Domini knew at once that this route held more
fascination for her than the route to Sidi…Zerzour。 There was far more
sand in this region of the desert。 The little humps crowned with the
scrub the camels feed on were fewer; so that the flatness of the
ground was more definite。 Here and there large dunes of golden…
coloured sand rose; some straight as city walls; some curved like
seats in an amphitheatre; others indented; crenellated like
battlements; undulating in beastlike 
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