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d so much of my time with you； that I cannot imagine what I shall do with my evenings； it will cost me much of my age to alter habits and customs now so long fixed and settled； but such is life； nothing certain； nothing stable。 We should imitate cats in our attachments； and rather identify ourselves with the house than the possessor of it。 I trust you have secured an ample provision for the future； neglect not the present； to…morrow may come in vain for you。
〃Be sure you let me know the spot to which you permanently retire； and I will endeavour to see you as frequently as my engagements will admit of。
Adieu； 。〃
Spite of the bitterness of my feelings； this letter drew a smile to my lips； the allusion to cats which had escaped the marechale exactly applied to her own character； of which I had been warned before I became acquainted with her； but her protestations of warm and unutterable attachment had gained my confidence； and I allowed myself to be guided implicitly by her。
The duchesse d'Aiguillon was waiting for me while I perused the above letter； at length； with a sigh； I prepared to quit that palace of delights where I had reigned absolute mistress。 I cast a mournful look around me； on those splendid walks； fountains and statues； worthy the gardens of Armida； but where there reigned； at this early hour； a sort of gloomy silence； whilst； in that chamber where love had well nigh deified me and recognised me as queen of France； lay extended the monarch so lately my protector and friend。
It was the Wednesday of the fifth of May that I took my seat in the carriage of the duchesse d'Aiguillon accompanied by my sister…in…law and the vicomtesse Adolphe； who would not forsake me。 Bischi remained with madame d'Hargicourt； whose duties detained her with the comtesse d'Artois。 Her husband also remained at Versailles； while comte Jean and his son proceeded to Paris。 I will not attempt to describe the emotions with which I quitted my magnificent suite of apartments； and traversed the halls and staircases already crowded by persons anxiously awaiting the first intimation of the king's decease。 I was wrapped in my pelisse； and effectually eluded observation。 It has been said that I left Versailles at four o'clock in the morning； but that was a mere invention on the part of my servants to baffle the curiosity of those who might have annoyed me by their presence。
We pursued our way in mournful reflection； whilst madame d'Aiguillon； with her wonted goodness； sought by every means to distract me from the dejection in which I was buried。 Her husband； who remained with the king； engaged to write me a true account of all that transpired during my absence； and I shall very shortly present you with a specimen of the fidelity with which he performed his promise。 The duchess did the honours of Ruel。
〃Here；〃 said she； 〃the great cardinal Richelieu loved to repose himself from the bustle and turmoil of a court。〃
〃I think；〃 answered I； 〃it would have been less a favourite with his eminence had it been selected for his abode on the eve of his disgrace。〃
Immediately upon my arrival I retired to bed； for fatigue had so completely overpowered me that I fell into a heavy slumber； from which I did not awake till the following day； when I found the duchesse d'Aiguillon； my sister…in…law； Genevieve Mathon； and Henriette； seated by my bed： the sight of them was cheering and gratifying proof of my not being as yet abandoned by all the world。
I arose； and we were just about to take our places at table； when madame de Forcalquier arrived。 I must confess that her presence was an agreeable surprise to me； I was far from reckoning on her constancy in friendship； and her present conduct proved her worthy of her excellent friend； madame Boncault； whose steady attachment I had so frequently heard extolled。 The sight of her imparted fresh courage to me； and I even resumed my usual high spirits； and in the sudden turn my ideas had taken； was childish enough to express my regrets for the loss of my downy and luxurious bed at Versailles； complaining of the woful difference between it and the one I had slept on at Ruel。
The duchesse d'Aiguillon； who must have pitied the puerility of such a remark； gently endeavoured to reconcile me to it by reminding me that both the marquise de Pompadour and the cardinal de Richelieu had reposed upon that very couch。
I endeavoured to return some sportive reply； but my thoughts had flown back to Versailles； and my momentary exhilaration was at an end。 Tears rose to my eyes and choked my attempts at conversation； I therefore begged the duchess would excuse me； and retired to my apartment until I could compose myself； but the kind and attentive friend to whose hospitality I was then confided needed no further mention of my hard couch； but caused the best bed Ruel contained to be prepared for me by the time I again pressed my pillow。
This same evening brought M。 de Cosse； who could no longer repress his impatience to assure me of his entire devotion。 He appeared on this occasion； if possible； more tender and more respectful in his manner of evincing it than ever。
We supped together without form or ceremony； the party consisting of mesdames d'Aiguillon； de Forcalquier； and myself； mademoiselle du Barry； and the vicomtesse Adolphe； the prince de Soubise and the duc de Cosse。 But the meal passed off in sorrowful silence； each of us seemed to abstain from conversation as though the slightest remark might come fraught with some painful allusion。 On the following day I received the letter from the duc d'Aiguillon which you will find in the following chapter。
CHAPTER XLV
The duc d'Aiguillon's first letterThe marechale de Mirepoix A second letter from the duc d'AiguillonNumerous visitors
〃My much esteemed friend；I promised you upon your departure to inform you of all that transpired； and although the task is a mournful one； I will do my best to acquit myself with zeal and sincerity； and each evening I will write you an exact detail of all that has occurred during the day。 The king remains much as you left him； and you must know that already his medical attendants differ in their opinion respecting himLemonnier utterly despairing of his recovery； while Bordeu is most sanguine that he shall be enabled to restore him to health。 La Martiniere persists in his assertion that the attention of the king should be immediately directed to his spiritual concerns。 The archbishop of Paris remains until called for in the ante…chamber； and the princesses never leave the bedside of their august parent。
〃The king spoke with me concerning you for some time this morning； and I can assure you； you are the first object in his thoughts； he has begged of me never to forsake you； and has deigned to repose in me the enviable post of your future protector。 'I bequeath my beloved friend to your fidelity；' added the suffering prince。 I took advantage of this opportunity to remark that I looked upon your quitting Versailles as too precipitate and premature a step。 'No； no；' replied the king； 〃I have acted for the best； I have once been deceived as to my condition； and I would willingly prevent being again taken by surprise。 Tell my beloved and excellent countess how truly I love her'； and hearing the prince de Soubise mention his design of supping at Ruel； he charged him to embrace you for him。
〃The dauphin still remains secluded in his apartment； but I know that he keeps up a regular correspondence with madame Victoire； whose letters； after being immersed in vinegar； are carried to the comte de Muy； who fumigates them previously to allowing them to reach the hands of the dauphin。
〃I am； etc。； etc。
〃VERSAILLES； May 5； 1774； nine o'clock； evening。〃
Upon awaking the following morning I again received news of the king； who was stated to have passed a good night； and even La Martiniere seemed inclined to hope。 As yet； then； there were no safe grounds for abandoning me； and about two o'clock in the afternoon I was favoured with a visit from madame de Mirepoix； who； running up to me； exclaimed with her usual vivacity；
〃Oh； my dear creature； how I longed to see you！〃 and then leading me into another chamber； she added；
〃Do you know I quite missed you？ As I wrote you； my time hung heavily on my hands。 What in the world will become of me if I am compelled to resign the delightful hours granted to the envied few who are permitted the 《 entrée 》 to the ？ For you see； my dear； the dauphiness will be far from bestowing that honour upon me。 I am too old to form one of her coterie； and I shall be laid aside like the rest of the antiquities of the chateau。 By the way；〃 continued the voluble marechale； 〃there is already a great cabal in the chateau respecting the formation of a new ministry； in which； besides desiring lucrative posts for themselves； all are anxious to introduce their private friends； in the midst of so many absorbing interests you appear to be already forgotten； which； by the way； is no bad thing for you。 Your best plan is to remain perfectly tranquil。〃 Then rapidly passing to her most prevailing idea； this excellent