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Our Relations and Theirs
What I'm trying to show here is that with these women the whole
relationship of life counted in a glad； eager growing…up to join the ranks of
workers in the line best loved； a deep； tender reverence for one's own
mothertoo deep for them to speak of freelyand beyond that； the whole；
free； wide range of sisterhood； the splendid service of the country； and
friendships。
To these women we came； filled with the ideas； convictions；
traditions； of our culture； and undertook to rouse in them the emotions
whichto usseemed proper。
However much； or little； of true sex…feeling there was between
us； it phrased itself in their minds in terms of friendship； the one purely
personal love they knew； and of ultimate parentage。 Visibly we were not
mothers； nor children； nor compatriots； so； if they loved us； we must be
friends。
That we should pair off together in our courting days was
natural to them； that we three should remain much together； as they did
themselves； was also natural。 We had as yet no work； so we hung about
them in their forest tasks； that was natural； too。
But when we began to talk about each couple having 〃homes〃 of
our own； they could not understand it。
〃Our work takes us all around the country；〃 explained Celis。
〃We cannot live in one place all the time。〃
〃We are together now；〃 urged Alima； looking proudly at Terry's
stalwart nearness。 （This was one of the times when they were 〃on；〃
though presently 〃off〃 again。）
〃It's not the same thing at all；〃 he insisted。 〃A man wants a
home of his own； with his wife and family in it。〃
〃Staying in it？ All the time？〃 asked Ellador。 〃Not imprisoned；
surely！〃
〃Of course not！ Living therenaturally；〃 he answered。
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〃What does she do thereall the time？〃 Alima demanded。 〃What
is her work？〃
Then Terry patiently explained again that our women did not
workwith reservations。
〃But what do they doif they have no work？〃 she persisted。
〃They take care of the homeand the children。〃
〃At the same time？〃 asked Ellador。
〃Why yes。 The children play about； and the mother has charge
of it all。 There are servants； of course。〃
It seemed so obvious； so natural to Terry； that he always grew
impatient； but the girls were honestly anxious to understand。
〃How many children do your women have？〃 Alima had her
notebook out now； and a rather firm set of lip。 Terry began to dodge。
〃There is no set number； my dear；〃 he explained。 〃Some have
more； some have less。〃
〃Some have none at all；〃 I put in mischievously。
They pounced on this admission and soon wrung from us the
general fact that those women who had the most children had the least
servants； and those who had the most servants had the least children。
〃There！〃 triumphed Alima。 〃One or two or no children； and
three or four servants。 Now what do those women DO？〃
We explained as best we might。 We talked of 〃social duties；〃
disingenuously banking on their not interpreting the words as we did； we
talked of hospitality； entertainment； and various 〃interests。〃 All the time
we knew that to these large…minded women whose whole mental outlook
was so collective； the limitations of a wholly personal life were
inconceivable。
〃We cannot really understand it；〃 Ellador concluded。 〃We are
only half a people。 We have our woman…ways and they have their man…
ways and their both…ways。 We have worked out a system of living which
is； of course； limited。 They must have a broader； richer； better one。 I
should like to see it。〃
〃You shall； dearest；〃 I whispered。
〃There's nothing to smoke；〃 complained Terry。 He was in the midst
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of a prolonged quarrel with Alima； and needed a sedative。 〃There's nothing
to drink。 These blessed women have no pleasant vices。 I wish we could
get out of here！〃
This wish was vain。 We were always under a certain degree of
watchfulness。 When Terry burst forth to tramp the streets at night he
always found a 〃Colonel〃 here or there； and when； on an occasion of
fierce though temporary despair； he had plunged to the cliff edge with
some vague view to escape； he found several of them close by。 We were
freebut there was a string to it。
〃They've no unpleasant ones； either；〃 Jeff reminded him。
〃Wish they had！〃 Terry persisted。 〃They've neither the vices of
men； nor the virtues of womenthey're neuters！〃
〃You know better than that。 Don't talk nonsense；〃 said I；
severely。
I was thinking of Ellador's eyes when they gave me a certain
look； a look she did not at all realize。
Jeff was equally incensed。 〃I don't know what ‘virtues of
women' you miss。 Seems to me they have all of them。〃
〃They've no modesty；〃 snapped Terry。 〃No patience； no
submissiveness； none of that natural yielding which is woman's greatest
charm。〃
I shook my head pityingly。 〃Go and apologize and make
friends again； Terry。 You've got a grouch； that's all。 These women have
the virtue of humanity； with less of its faults than any folks I ever saw。
As for patiencethey'd have pitched us over the cliffs the first day we lit
among 'em； if they hadn't that。〃
〃There are nodistractions；〃 he grumbled。 〃Nowhere a man
can go and cut loose a bit。 It's an everlasting parlor and nursery。〃
〃and workshop；〃 I added。 〃And school； and office； and
laboratory； and studio； and theater； andhome。〃
〃HOME！〃 he sneered。 〃There isn't a home in the whole pitiful
place。〃
〃There isn't anything else； and you know it；〃 Jeff retorted hotly。
〃I never saw； I never dreamed of； such universal peace and good will and
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mutual affection。〃
〃Oh； well； of course； if you like a perpetual Sunday school； it's
all very well。 But I like Something Doing。 Here it's all done。〃
There was something to this criticism。 The years of pioneering
lay far behind them。 Theirs was a civilization in which the initial
difficulties had long since been overcome。 The untroubled peace； the
unmeasured plenty； the steady health； the large good will and smooth
management which ordered everything； left nothing to overcome。 It was
like a pleasant family in an old established； perfectly run country place。
I liked it because of my eager and continued interest in the
sociological achievements involved。 Jeff liked it as he would have liked
such a family and such a place anywhere。
Terry did not like it because he found nothing to oppose； to
struggle with； to conquer。
〃Life is a struggle； has to be；〃 he insisted。 〃If there is no
struggle； there is no lifethat's all。〃
〃You're talking nonsensemasculine nonsense；〃 the peaceful
Jeff replied。 He was certainly a warm defender of Herland。 〃Ants don't
raise their myriads by a struggle； do they？ Or the bees？〃
〃Oh； if you go back to insectsand want to live in an anthill！ I
tell you the higher grades of life are reached only through struggle
combat。 Th