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condemned for a fault alone。
Enter ELBOW and OFFICERS with FROTH and POMPEY
ELBOW。 Come； bring them away； if these be good people in a
commonweal that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses； I
know no law； bring them away。 ANGELO。 How now； sir！ What's your
name； and what's the matter？ ELBOW。 If it please your honour； I am the
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poor Duke's constable； and my name is Elbow； I do lean upon justice； sir；
and do bring in here before your good honour two notorious benefactors。
ANGELO。 Benefactors！ Well… what benefactors are they？ Are they not
malefactors？ ELBOW。 If it please your honour； I know not well what they
are； but precise villains they are； that I am sure of； and void of all
profanation in the world that good Christians ought to have。 ESCALUS。
This comes off well； here's a wise officer。 ANGELO。 Go to； what quality
are they of？ Elbow is your name？ Why dost thou not speak； Elbow？
POMPEY。 He cannot； sir； he's out at elbow。 ANGELO。 What are you； sir？
ELBOW。 He； sir？ A tapster； sir； parcel…bawd； one that serves a bad woman；
whose house； sir； was； as they say； pluck'd down in the suburbs； and now
she professes a hot…house； which； I think； is a very ill house too。
ESCALUS。 How know you that？ ELBOW。 My wife； sir； whom I detest
before heaven and your honour… ESCALUS。 How！ thy wife！ ELBOW。 Ay；
sir； whom I thank heaven； is an honest woman… ESCALUS。 Dost thou
detest her therefore？ ELBOW。 I say； sir； I will detest myself also； as well
as she； that this house； if it be not a bawd's house； it is pity of her life； for
it is a naughty house。 ESCALUS。 How dost thou know that； constable？
ELBOW。 Marry； sir； by my wife； who； if she had been a woman cardinally
given； might have been accus'd in fornication； adultery； and all
uncleanliness there。 ESCALUS。 By the woman's means？ ELBOW。 Ay； sir；
by Mistress Overdone's means； but as she spit in his face； so she defied
him。 POMPEY。 Sir； if it please your honour； this is not so。 ELBOW。 Prove
it before these varlets here； thou honourable man； prove it。 ESCALUS。 Do
you hear how he misplaces？ POMPEY。 Sir； she came in great with child；
and longing； saving your honour's reverence； for stew'd prunes。 Sir； we
had but two in the house； which at that very distant time stood； as it were；
in a fruit dish； a dish of some three pence； your honours have seen such
dishes； they are not China dishes； but very good dishes。 ESCALUS。 Go to；
go to； no matter for the dish； sir。 POMPEY。 No； indeed； sir； not of a pin；
you are therein in the right； but to the point。 As I say； this Mistress Elbow；
being； as I say； with child； and being great…bellied； and longing； as I said；
for prunes； and having but two in the dish； as I said； Master Froth here；
this very man； having eaten the rest； as I said； and； as I say； paying for
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them very honestly； for； as you know； Master Froth； I could not give you
three pence again… FROTH。 No； indeed。 POMPEY。 Very well； you being
then； if you be rememb'red； cracking the stones of the foresaid prunes…
FROTH。 Ay； so I did indeed。 POMPEY。 Why； very well； I telling you then；
if you be rememb'red； that such a one and such a one were past cure of the
thing you wot of； unless they kept very good diet； as I told you… FROTH。
All this is true。 POMPEY。 Why； very well then… ESCALUS。 Come； you
are a tedious fool。 To the purpose： what was done to Elbow's wife that he
hath cause to complain of？ Come me to what was done to her。 POMPEY。
Sir； your honour cannot come to that yet。 ESCALUS。 No； sir； nor I mean it
not。 POMPEY。 Sir； but you shall come to it； by your honour's leave。 And； I
beseech you； look into Master Froth here； sir； a man of fourscore pound a
year； whose father died at Hallowmas… was't not at Hallowmas； Master
Froth？ FROTH。 All…hallond eve。 POMPEY。 Why； very well； I hope here
be truths。 He； sir； sitting； as I say； in a lower chair； sir； 'twas in the Bunch
of Grapes； where； indeed； you have a delight to sit； have you not？ FROTH。
I have so； because it is an open room； and good for winter。 POMPEY。 Why；
very well then； I hope here be truths。 ANGELO。 This will last out a night
in Russia； When nights are longest there； I'll take my leave； And leave you
to the hearing of the cause； Hoping you'll find good cause to whip them all。
ESCALUS。 I think no less。 Good morrow to your lordship。 ＇Exit
ANGELO＇ Now； sir； come on； what was done to Elbow's wife； once more？
POMPEY。 Once？… sir。 There was nothing done to her once。 ELBOW。 I
beseech you； sir； ask him what this man did to my wife。 POMPEY。 I
beseech your honour； ask me。 ESCALUS。 Well； sir； what did this
gentleman to her？ POMPEY。 I beseech you； sir； look in this gentleman's
face。 Good Master Froth； look upon his honour； 'tis for a good purpose。
Doth your honour mark his face？ ESCALUS。 Ay； sir； very well。 POMPEY。
Nay； I beseech you； mark it well。 ESCALUS。 Well； I do so。 POMPEY。
Doth your honour see any harm in his face？ ESCALUS。 Why； no。
POMPEY。 I'll be suppos'd upon a book his face is the worst thing about
him。 Good then； if his face be the worst thing about him； how could
Master Froth do the constable's wife any harm？ I would know that of your
honour。 ESCALUS。 He's in the right； constable； what say you to it？
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ELBOW。 First； an it like you； the house is a respected house； next； this is a
respected fellow； and his mistress is a respected woman。 POMPEY。 By
this hand； sir； his wife is a more respected person than any of us all。
ELBOW。 Varlet； thou liest； thou liest； wicked varlet； the time is yet to
come that she was ever respected with man； woman； or child。 POMPEY。
Sir； she was respected with him before he married with her。 ESCALUS。
Which is the wiser here； Justice or Iniquity？ Is this true？ ELBOW。 O thou
caitiff！ O thou varlet！ O thou wicked Hannibal！ I respected with her before
I was married to her！ If ever I was respected with her； or she with me； let
not your worship think me the poor Duke's officer。 Prove this； thou wicked
Hannibal； or I'll have mine action of batt'ry on thee。 ESCALUS。 If he took
you a box o' th' ear； you might have your action of slander too。 ELBOW。
Marry； I thank your good worship for it。 What is't your worship's pleasure
I shall do with this wicked caitiff？ ESCALUS。 Truly； officer； because he
hath some offences in him that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst； let
him continue in his courses till thou know'st what they are。 ELBOW。
Marry； I thank your worship for it。 Thou seest； thou wicked varlet； now；
what's come upon thee： thou art to continue now； thou varlet； thou art to
continue。 ESCALUS。 Where were you born； friend？ FROTH。 Here in
Vienna； sir。 ESCALUS。 Are you of fourscore pounds a year？ FROTH。 Yes；
an't please you； sir。 ESCALUS。 So。 What trade are you of； sir？ POMPEY。
A tapster； a poor widow's tapster。 ESCALUS。 Your mistress' name？
POMPEY。 Mistress Overdone。 ESCALUS。 Hath she had any more than
one husband？ POMPEY。 Nine； sir； Overdone by the last。 ESCALUS。 Nine！
Come hither to me； Master Froth。 Master Froth； I would not have you
acquainted with tapsters： they will draw you； Master Froth； and you will
hang them。 Get you gone； and let me hear no more of you。 FROTH。 I
thank your worship。 For mine own part； I never come into any room in a
taphouse but I am drawn in。 ESCALUS。 Well； no more of it； Master Froth；
farewell。 ＇Exit FROTH＇ Come you hither to me； Master Tapster； what's
your name； Master Tapster？ POMPEY。 Pompey。 ESCALUS。 What else？
POMPEY。 Bum； sir。 ESCALUS。 Troth； and your bum is the greatest thing
about you； so that； in the beastliest sense； you are Pompey the Great。
Pompey； you are partly a bawd； Pompey； howsoever you colour it in being
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