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fed； sheltered； chased； and occasionally run in； a being possessed of no
moral sense； a being likely to set a bad example； inculcate vicious habits
among her innocent sisters； and lower the standard of an entire poultry…
yard。 The Young Poultry Keeper's Friend gives us no advice on this topic；
and we do not know whether to treat Cannibal Ann as the victim of a
disease； or as a confirmed criminal； whether to administer remedies or cut
her off in the flower of her youth。
We have had a sad scene to…night。 A chick has been ailing all day；
and when we shut up the brood we found him dead in a corner。
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The Diary of a Goose Girl
Phoebe put him on the ground while she busied herself about the coop。
The other chicks came out and walked about the dead one again and again；
eyeing him curiously。
〃Poor little chap！〃 said Phoebe。 〃E's never 'ad a mother！ 'E was an
incubytor chicken； and wherever I took 'im 'e was picked at。 There was
somethink wrong with 'im； 'e never was a fyvorite！〃
I put the fluffy body into a hole in the turf； and strewed a handful of
grass over him。 〃Sad little epitaph！〃 I thought。 〃He never was a
fyvorite！〃
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The Diary of a Goose Girl
CHAPTER VIII
July 13th。
I like to watch the Belgian hares eating their trifolium or pea… pods or
grass； graceful； gentle things they are； crowding about Mr。 Heaven； and
standing prettily； not greedily； on their hind legs； to reach for the clover；
their delicate nostrils and whiskers all a… quiver with excitement。
As I look out of my window in the dusk I can see one of the mothers
galloping across the enclosure； the soft white lining of her tail acting as a
beacon…light to the eight infant hares following her； a quaint procession of
eight white spots in it glancing line。 In the darkest night those baby
creatures could follow their mother through grass or hedge or thicket； and
she would need no warning note to show them where to flee in case of
danger。 〃All you have to do is to follow the white night…light that I keep
in the lining of my tail；〃 she says； when she is giving her first maternal
lectures； and it seems a beneficent provision of Nature。 To be sure； Mr。
Heaven took his gun and went out to shoot wild rabbits to…day； and I noted
that he marked them by those same self… betraying tails； as they scuttled
toward their holes or leaped toward the protecting cover of the hedge； so it
does not appear whether Nature is on the side of the farmer or the
rabbit 。 。 。
There is as much comedy and as much tragedy in poultry life as
anywhere； and already I see rifts within lutes。 We have in a cage a
French gentleman partridge married to a Hungarian lady of defective sight。
He paces back and forth in the pen restlessly； anything but content with the
domestic fireside。 One can see plainly that he is devoted to the
Boulevards； and that if left to his own inclinations he would never have
chosen any spouse but a thorough Parisienne。
The Hungarian lady is blind of one eye； from some stray shot； I
suppose。 She is melancholy at all times； and occasionally goes so far as
to beat her head against the wire netting。 If liberated； Mr。 Heaven says
that her blindness would only expose her to death at the hands of the first
sportsman； and it always seems to me as if she knows this； and is ever
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The Diary of a Goose Girl
trying to decide whether a loveless marriage is any better than the tomb。
Then； again； the great； grey gander is； for some mysterious reason； out
of favour with the entire family。 He is a noble and amiable bird； by far
the best all…round character in the flock； for dignity of mien and large…
minded common…sense。 What is the treatment vouchsafed to this
blameless husband and father？ One that puts anybody out of sorts with
virtue and its scant rewards。 To begin with； the others will not allow him
to go into the pond。 There is an organised cabal against it； and he sits
solitary on the bank； calm and resigned； but； naturally； a trifle hurt。 His
favourite retreat is a tiny sort of island on the edge of the pool under the
alders； where with his bent head； and red…rimmed philosophic eyes he
regards his own breast and dreams of happier days。 When the others
walk into the country twenty…three of them keep together； and Burd Alane
（as I have named him from the old ballad） walks by himself。 The lack of
harmony is so evident here； and the slight so intentional and direct； that it
almost moves me to tears。 The others walk soberly； always in couples；
but even Burd Alane's rightful spouse is on the side of the majority； and
avoids her consort。
What is the nature of his offence？ There can be no connubial
jealousies； I judge； as geese are strictly monogamous； and having chosen a
partner of their joys and sorrows they cleave to each other until death or
some other inexorable circumstance does them part。 If they are ever
mistaken in their choice； and think they might have done better； the world
is none the wiser。 Burd Alane looks in good condition； but Phoebe thinks
he is not quite himself； and that some day when he is in greater strength he
will turn on his foes and rend them； regaining thus his lost prestige； for
formerly he was king of the flock。
* * *
Phoebe has not a vestige of sentiment。 She just asked me if I would
have a duckling or a gosling for dinner； that there were two quite ready
the brown and yellow duckling； that is the last to leave the water at night；
and the white gosling that never knows his own 'ouse。 Which would I
'ave； and would I 'ave it with sage and onion？
Now； had I found a duckling on the table at dinner I should have eaten
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it without thinking at all； or with the thought that it had come from
Barbury Green。 But eat a duckling that I have stoned out of the pond；
pursued up the bank； chased behind the wire netting； caught； screaming； in
a corner； and carried struggling to his bed？ Feed upon an idiot gosling that
I have found in nine different coops on nine successive nightsin with the
newly…hatched chicks； the half…grown pullets； the setting hen； the
〃invaleed goose；〃 the drake with the gapes； the old ducks in the pen？Eat
a gosling that I have caught and put in with his brothers and sisters （whom
he never recognises） so frequently and regularly that I am familiar with
every joint in his body？
In the first place； with my own small bump of locality and lack of
geography； I would never willingly consume a creature who might； by
some strange process of assimilation； make me worse in this respect； in
the second place； I should have to be ravenous indeed to sit down
deliberately and make a meal of an intimate friend； no matter if I had not a
high opinion of his intelligence。 I should as soon think of eating the
Square Baby； stuffed with sage and onion and garnished with green apple…
sauce； as the yellow duckling or the idiot gosling。
Mrs。 Heaven has just called me into her sitting…room； ostensibly to ask
me to order breakfast； but really for the pleasure of conversation。 Why
she should inquire whether I would relish some gammon of bacon with
eggs； when she knows that there has not been； is not now； and never will
be； anything but gammon of bacon with eggs； is more than I can explain。
〃Would you like to see my flowers； miss？〃 she asks； folding her plump
hands over her white apron。 〃They are looking beautiful