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chandler in the market…place of the county town to treat for the house。 I
went that day； and I took it for six months。
It was just the middle of October when I moved in with my maiden
sister （I venture to call her eight…and…thirty； she is so very handsome；
sensible； and engaging）。 We took with us； a deaf stable… man； my
bloodhound Turk； two women servants； and a young person called an Odd
Girl。 I have reason to record of the attendant last enumerated； who was
one of the Saint Lawrence's Union Female Orphans； that she was a fatal
mistake and a disastrous engagement。
The year was dying early； the leaves were falling fast； it was a raw
cold day when we took possession； and the gloom of the house was most
depressing。 The cook （an amiable woman； but of a weak turn of intellect）
burst into tears on beholding the kitchen； and requested that her silver
watch might be delivered over to her sister （2 Tuppintock's Gardens；
Liggs's Walk； Clapham Rise）； in the event of anything happening to her
from the damp。 Streaker； the housemaid； feigned cheerfulness； but was the
greater martyr。 The Odd Girl； who had never been in the country； alone
was pleased； and made arrangements for sowing an acorn in the garden
outside the scullery window； and rearing an oak。
We went； before dark； through all the naturalas opposed to
supernaturalmiseries incidental to our state。 Dispiriting reports ascended
（like the smoke） from the basement in volumes； and descended from the
upper rooms。 There was no rolling…pin； there was no salamander （which
failed to surprise me； for I don't know what it is）； there was nothing in the
house； what there was； was broken； the last people must have lived like
pigs； what could the meaning of the landlord be？ Through these distresses；
the Odd Girl was cheerful and exemplary。 But within four hours after dark
we had got into a supernatural groove； and the Odd Girl had seen 〃Eyes；〃
and was in hysterics。
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My sister and I had agreed to keep the haunting strictly to ourselves；
and my impression was； and still is； that I had not left Ikey； when he
helped to unload the cart； alone with the women； or any one of them； for
one minute。 Nevertheless； as I say； the Odd Girl had 〃seen Eyes〃 （no other
explanation could ever be drawn from her）； before nine； and by ten o'clock
had had as much vinegar applied to her as would pickle a handsome
salmon。
I leave a discerning public to judge of my feelings； when； under these
untoward circumstances； at about half…past ten o'clock Master B。's bell
began to ring in a most infuriated manner； and Turk howled until the house
resounded with his lamentations！
I hope I may never again be in a state of mind so unchristian as the
mental frame in which I lived for some weeks； respecting the memory of
Master B。 Whether his bell was rung by rats； or mice； or bats； or wind； or
what other accidental vibration； or sometimes by one cause； sometimes
another； and sometimes by collusion； I don't know； but； certain it is； that it
did ring two nights out of three； until I conceived the happy idea of
twisting Master B。's neckin other words； breaking his bell short offand
silencing that young gentleman； as to my experience and belief； for ever。
But； by that time； the Odd Girl had developed such improving powers
of catalepsy； that she had become a shining example of that very
inconvenient disorder。 She would stiffen； like a Guy Fawkes endowed
with unreason； on the most irrelevant occasions。 I would address the
servants in a lucid manner； pointing out to them that I had painted Master
B。's room and balked the paper； and taken Master B。's bell away and
balked the ringing； and if they could suppose that that confounded boy had
lived and died； to clothe himself with no better behaviour than would most
unquestionably have brought him and the sharpest particles of a birch…
broom into close acquaintance in the present imperfect state of existence；
could they also suppose a mere poor human being； such as I was； capable
by those contemptible means of counteracting and limiting the powers of
the disembodied spirits of the dead； or of any spirits？I say I would
become emphatic and cogent； not to say rather complacent； in such an
address； when it would all go for nothing by reason of the Odd Girl's
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suddenly stiffening from the toes upward； and glaring among us like a
parochial petrifaction。
Streaker； the housemaid； too； had an attribute of a most discomfiting
nature。 I am unable to say whether she was of an usually lymphatic
temperament； or what else was the matter with her； but this young woman
became a mere Distillery for the production of the largest and most
transparent tears I ever met with。 Combined with these characteristics； was
a peculiar tenacity of hold in those specimens； so that they didn't fall； but
hung upon her face and nose。 In this condition； and mildly and deplorably
shaking her head； her silence would throw me more heavily than the
Admirable Crichton could have done in a verbal disputation for a purse of
money。 Cook； likewise； always covered me with confusion as with a
garment； by neatly winding up the session with the protest that the Ouse
was wearing her out； and by meekly repeating her last wishes regarding
her silver watch。
As to our nightly life； the contagion of suspicion and fear was among
us； and there is no such contagion under the sky。 Hooded woman？
According to the accounts； we were in a perfect Convent of hooded
women。 Noises？ With that contagion downstairs； I myself have sat in the
dismal parlour； listening； until I have heard so many and such strange
noises； that they would have chilled my blood if I had not warmed it by
dashing out to make discoveries。 Try this in bed； in the dead of the night：
try this at your own comfortable fire…side； in the life of the night。 You can
fill any house with noises； if you will； until you have a noise for every
nerve in your nervous system。
I repeat； the contagion of suspicion and fear was among us； and there
is no such contagion under the sky。 The women （their noses in a chronic
state of excoriation from smelling…salts） were always primed and loaded
for a swoon； and ready to go off with hair… triggers。 The two elder
detached the Odd Girl on all expeditions that were considered doubly
hazardous； and she always established the reputation of such adventures
by coming back cataleptic。 If Cook or Streaker went overhead after dark；
we knew we should presently hear a bump on the ceiling； and this took
place so constantly； that it was as if a fighting man were engaged to go
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about the house； administering a touch of his art which I believe is called
The Auctioneer； to every domestic he met with。
It was in vain to do anything。 It was in vain to be frightened； for the
moment in one's own person； by a real owl； and then to show the owl。 It
was in vain to discover； by striking an accidental discord on the piano； that
Turk always howled at particular notes and combinations。 It was in vain to
be a Rhadamanthus with the bells； and if an unfortunate bell rang without
leave； to have it down inexorably and silence it。 It was in vain to fire up
chimneys； let torches down the well； charge furiously into suspected
rooms and recesses。 We changed servants； and it was no better。 The new
set ran away； and a third set came； and it was no better。 At last； our
comfortable housekeeping got to be so disorganised and wretched； that I
one night dejectedly said to my sister： 〃Patty； I begin to despair of our
gett