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Another of the things I pride myself on is that I never wander
from my subject。 What Midwinter said next is what I ought to be
writing about now。＇
〃He looked at me for a moment； as if he thought I had taken leave
of my senses。 Then he came round to my side of the table and
stood over me again。
〃 'If nothing else will satisfy you that you are entirely
misinterpreting my motives；' he said； 'and that I haven't an idea
of blaming _you_ in the matterread this。'
〃 He took a paper from the breast…pocket of his coat； and spread
it open under my eyes。 It was the Narrative of Armadale's Dream。
〃In an instant the whole weight on my mind was lifted off it。 I
felt mistress of myself againI understood him at last。
〃 'Do you know what this is？' he asked。 'Do you remember what I
said to you at Thorpe Ambrose about Allan's Dream？ I told you
then that two out of the three Visions had already come true。 I
tell you now that the third Vision has been fulfilled in this
house to…night。'
〃He turned over the leaves of the manuscript； and pointed to the
lines that he wished me to read。
〃I read these； or nearly read these words； from the Narrative of
the Dream； as Midwinter had taken it down from Armadale's own
lips：
〃 'The darkness opened for the third time； and showed me the
Shadow of the Man and the Shadow of the Woman together。 The
Man…Shade was the nearest； the Woman…Shadow stood back。 From
where she slood； I heard a sound like the pouring out of a liquid
softly。 I saw her touch the Shadow of the Man with one hand； and
give him a glass with the other。 He took the glass and handed it
to me。 At the moment when I put it to my lips； a deadly faintness
overcame me。 When I recovered my senses again； the Shadows had
vanished； and the Vision was at an end。'
〃For the moment； I was as completely staggered by this
extraordinary coincidence as Midwinter himself。
〃He put one hand on the open narrative and laid the other heavily
on my arm。
〃 '_Now_ do you understand my motive in coming here？' he asked。
'_Now_ do you see that the last hope I had to cling to was the
hope that your memory of the night's events might prove my memory
to be wrong？ _Now_ do you know why I won't help Allan？ Why I
won't sail with him？ Why I am plotting and lying； and making you
plot and lie too； to keep my best and dearest friend out of the
house？'
〃 'Have you forgotten Mr。 Brock's letter？' I asked。
〃He struck his hand passionately on the open manuscript。 'If Mr。
Brook had lived to see what we have seen to…night he would have
felt what I feel； he would have said what I say！' His voice sank
mysteriously； and his great black eyes glittered at me as he made
that answer。 'Thrice the Shadows of the Vision warned Allan in
his sleep；' he went on； 'and thrice those Shadows have been
embodied in the after…time by You and by Me！ You； and no other；
stood in the Woman's place at the pool。 I； and no other； stood in
the Man's place at the window。 And you and I together； when the
last Vision showed the Shadows together； stand in the Man's place
and the Woman's place still！ For 蔩this；_ the miserable day
dawned when you and I first met。 For _this；_ your influence drew
me to you； when my better angel warned me to fly the sight of
your face。 There is a curse on our lives！ there is a fatality in
our footsteps！ Allan's future depends on his separation from us
at once and forever。 Drive him from the place we live in； and the
air we breathe。 Force him among strangersthe worst and
wickedest of them will be more harmless； to him than we are！ Let
his yacht sail； though he goes on his knees to ask us； without
You and without Me； and let him know how I loved him in another
world than this； where the wicked cease from troubling； and the
weary are at rest！'
〃His grief conquered him； his voice broke into a sob when he
spoke those last words。 He took the Narrative of the Dream from
the table； and left me as abruptly as he had come in。
〃As I heard his door locked between us； my mind went back to what
he had said to me about myself。 In remembering 'the miserable
day' when we first saw each other； and 'the better angel' that
had warned him to 'fly the sight of my face；' I forgot all else。
It doesn't matter what I feltI wouldn't own it； even if I had a
friend to speak to。 Who cares for the misery of such a woman as I
am？ who believes in it？ Besides； he spoke under the influence of
a mad superstition that has got possession of him again。 There is
every excuse for _him_there is no excuse for _me。_ If I can't
help being fond of him through it all； I must take the
consequences and suffer。 I deserve to suffer； I deserve neither
love nor pity from anybody。Good heavens； what a fool I am！ And
how unnatural all this would be； if it was written in a book！
〃It has struck one。 I can hear Midwinter still； pacing to and fro
in his room。
〃He is thinking； I suppose？ Well！ I can think too。 What am I to
do next？ I shall wait and see。 Events take odd turns sometimes；
and events may justify the fatalism of the amiable man in the
next room； who curses the day when he first saw my face。 He may
live to curse it for other reasons than he has now。 If I am the
Woman pointed at in the Dream； there will be another temptation
put in my way before long； and there will be no brandy in
Armadale's lemonade if I mix it for him a second time。
〃October 24th。Barely twelve hours have passed since I wrote my
yesterday's entry； and that other temptation has come； tried；
amid conquered me already！
〃This time there was no alternative。 Instant exposure and ruin
stared me in the face： I had no choice but to yield in my own
defense。 In plainer words still； it was no accidental resemblance
that startled me at the theater last night。 The chorus…singer at
the opera was Manuel himself！
〃Not ten minutes after Midwinter had left the sitting…room for
his study； the woman of the house came in with a dirty little
three…cornered note in her hand。 One look at the writing on the
address was enough。 He had recognized me in the box； and the
ballet between the acts of the opera had given him time to trace
me home。 I drew that plain conclusion in the moment that elapsed
before I opened the letter。 It informed me； in two lines； that he
was waiting in a by…street leading to the beach； and that； if I
failed to make my appearance in ten minutes； he should interpret
my absence as my invitation to him to call at the house。
〃What I went through yesterday must have hardened me； I suppose。
At any rate； after reading the letter； I felt more like the woman
I once was than I have felt for months past。 I put on my bonnet
and went downstairs； and left the house as if nothing had
happened。
〃He was waiting for me at the entrance to the street。
〃In the instant when we stood face to face； all my wretched life
with him came back to me。 I thought of my trust that he had
betrayed； I thought of the cruel mockery of a marriage that he
had practiced on me； when he knew that he had a wife living； I
thought of the time when I had felt despair enough at his
desertion of me to attempt my own life。 When I recalled all this；
and when the comparison between Midwinter and the mean； miserable
villain whom I had once believed in forced itself into my mind； I
knew for the first time what a woman feels when every atom of
respect for herself has left her。 If he had personally insulted
me at that moment； I believe I should have submitted to it。
〃But he had no idea of insulting me； in the more brutal meaning
of the word。 He had me at his mercy； and his way of making me
feel it was to behave with an elaborate mockery of penitence and
respect。 I let him speak as he pleased； without interrupting him；
without looking at him a second time； without even allowing my
dress to touch him； as we walked together toward the quieter part
of the beach。 I had noticed the wretched state of his clothes；
and the greedy glitter in his eyes； in my first look at him。 And
I knew it would endas it did endin a demand on me for money。
〃Yes！ After taking from me the last farthing I possessed of my
own； and the last farthing I could extort for him from my old
mistress； he turned on me as we stood by the margin of the sea；
and asked if I could reconcile it to my conscience to let him be
wearing such a coat as he then had on his back； and earning his
miserable living as a chorus…singer at the opera！
〃My disgust； rather than my indignation； roused me into speaking
to him at last。
〃 'You want money；' I said。 'Suppose I am too poor to give it to
you？'
〃 'In that case；' he replied； 'I shall be forced to remember that
you are a treasure in yourself。 And I shall be under the p ainful
necessity of pressing my claim to you on the attention of one of
those two gentlemen whom I saw with you at the operathe
gentleman； of course； who is now honored by your preference； and
who lives provisionally in the light of your smiles。'
〃I made him no answer； for I had no answer to give。 Disputing his
right to claim me from anybody would have been a mere waste of
words。 He knew as well as I did that he had not the shadow of a
claim on me。 But the mere attempt to raise it