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with the idea that one's chief object at a musical performance is
to see the faces of the singers as plainly as possible！
Fortunately for our ears； Bellini's lovely melodies are； for the
most part； tenderly and delicately accompaniedor the orchestra
might have deafened us。
〃I sat back in the box at first； well out of sight； for it was
impossible to be sure that some of my old friends of former days
at Naples might not be in the theater。 But the sweet music
gradually tempted me out of my seclusion。 I was so charmed and
interested that I leaned forward without knowing it； and looked
at the stage。
〃I was made aware of my own imprudence by a discovery which； for
the moment； literally chilled my blood。 One of the singers； among
the chorus of Druids； was looking at me while he sang with the
rest。 His head was disguised in the long white hair； and the
lower part of his face was completely covered with the flowing
white beard proper to the character。 But the eyes with which he
looked at me were the eyes of the one man on earth whom I have
most reason to dread ever seeing againManuel！
〃If it had not been for my smelling…bottle； I believe I should
have lost my senses。 As it was； I drew back again into the
shadow。 Even Armadale noticed the sudden change in me： he； as
well as Midwinter； asked if I was ill。 I said I felt the heat；
but hoped I should be better presently； and then leaned back in
the box； and tried to rally my courage。 I succeeded in recovering
self…possession enough to be able to look again at the stage
（without showing myself） the next time the chorus appeared。 There
was the man again！ But to my infinite relief he never looked
toward our box a second time。 This welcome indifference； on his
part； helped to satisfy me that I had seen an extraordinary
accidental resemblance； and nothing more。 I still hold to this
conclusion； after having had leisure to think； but my mind would
be more completely at ease than it is if I had seen the rest of
the man's face without the stage disguises that hid it from all
investigation。
〃When the curtain fell on the first act； there was a tiresome
ballet to be performed （according to the absurd Italian cust om）；
before the opera went on。 Though I had got over my first fright；
I had been far too seriously startled to feel comfortable in the
theater。 I dreaded all sorts of impossible accidents； and when
Midwinter and Armadale put the question to me； I told them I was
not well enough to stay through the rest of the performance。
〃At the door of the theater Armadale proposed to say good…night。
But Midwinterevidently dreading the evening with _me_asked
him to come back to supper； if I had no objection。 I said the
necessary words； and we all three returned together to this
house。
〃Ten minutes' quiet in my own room （assisted by a little dose of
eau…de…cologne and water） restored me to myself。 I joined the men
at the supper…table。 They received my apologies for taking them
away from the opera； with the complimentary assurance that I had
not cost either of them the slightest sacrifice of his own
pleasure。 Midwinter declared that he was too completely worn out
to care for anything but the two great blessings； unattainable at
the theater； of quiet and fresh air。 Armadale saidwith an
Englishman's exasperating pride in his own stupidity wherever a
matter of art is concernedthat he couldn't make head or tail of
the performance。 The principal disappointment； he was good enough
to add； was mine； for I evidently understood foreign music； and
enjoyed it。 Ladies generally did。 His darling little Neelie
〃I was in no humor to be persecuted with his 'Darling Neelie'
after what I had gone through at the theater。 It might have been
the irritated state of my nerves； or it might have been the
eau…de…cologne flying to my head； but the bare mention of the
girl seemed to set me in a flame。 I tried to turn Armadale's
attention in the direction of the supper…table。 He was much
obliged； but he had no appetite for more。 I offered him wine
next； the wine of the country； which is all that our poverty
allows us to place on the table。 He was much obliged again。 The
foreign wine was very little more to his taste than the foreign
music； but he would take some because I asked him； and he would
drink my health in the old…fashioned way； with his best wishes
for the happy time when we should all meet again at Thorpe
Ambrose； and when there would be a mistress to welcome me at the
great house。
〃Was he mad to persist in this way？ No； his face answered for
him。 He was under the impression that he was making himself
particularly agreeable to me。
〃I looked at Midwinter。 He might have seen some reason for
interfering to change the conversation； if he had looked at me in
return。 But he sat silent in his chair； irritable and overworked；
with his eyes on the ground； thinking。
〃I got up and went to the window。 Still impenetrable to a sense
of his own clumsiness； Armadale followed me。 If I had been strong
enough to toss him out of the window into the sea； I should
certainly have done it at that moment。 Not being strong enough； I
looked steadily at the view over the bay； and gave him a hint；
the broadest and rudest I could think of； to go。
〃 'A lovely night for a walk；' I said； 'if you are tempted to
walk back to the hotel。'
〃I doubt if he heard me。 At any rate； I produced no sort of
effect on him。 He stood staring sentimentally at the moonlight；
andthere is really no other word to express it_blew_ a sigh。
I felt a presentiment of what was coming； unless I stopped his
mouth by speaking first。
〃 'With all your fondness for England；' I said； 'you must own
that we have no such moonlight as that at home。'
〃He looked at me vacantly； and blew another sigh。
〃 'I wonder whether it is fine to…night in England as it is
here？' he said。 'I wonder whether my dear little girl at home is
looking at the moonlight； and thinking of Me？'
〃I could endure it no longer。 I flew out at him at last。
〃 'Good heavens； Mr。 Armadale！' I exclaimed； 'is there only one
subject worth mentioning； in the narrow little world you live in？
I'm sick to death of Miss Milroy。 Do pray talk of something
else？'
〃His great； broad； stupid face colored up to the roots of his
hideous yellow hair。 'I beg your pardon；' he stammered； with a
kind of sulky surprise。 'I didn't suppose' He stopped
confusedly； and looked from me to Midwinter。 I understood what
the look meant。 'I didn't suppose she could be jealous of Miss
Milroy after marrying _you！_' That is what he would have said to
Midwinter； if I had left them alone together in the room！
〃As it was； Midwinter had heard us。 Before I could speak
againbefore Armadale could add another wordhe finished his
friend's uncompleted sentence； in a tone that I now heard； and
with a look that I now saw； for the first time。
〃 'You didn't suppose； Allan；' he said； 'that a lady's temper
could be so easily provoked。'
〃The first bitter word of irony； the first hard look of contempt；
I had ever had from him！ And Armadale the cause of it！
〃My anger suddenly left me。 Something came in its place which
steadied me in an instant； and took me silently out of the room。
〃I sat down alone in the bedroom。 I had a few minutes of thought
with myself； which I don't choose to put into words； even in
these secret pages。 I got up； and unlockednever mind what。 I
went round to Midwinter's side of the bed； and tookno matter
what I took。 The last thing I did before I left the room was to
look at my watch。 It was half…past ten； Armadale's usual time for
leaving us。 I went back at once and joined the two men again。
〃I approached Armadale good…humoredly； and said to him：
〃No！ On second thoughts。 I won't put down what I said to him； or
what I did afterward。 I'm sick of Armadale！ he turns up at every
second word I write。 I shall pass over what happened in the
course of the next hourthe hour between half…past ten and
half…past elevenand take up my story again at the time when
Armadale had left us。 Can I tell what took place； as soon as our
visitor's back was turned； between Midwinter and me in our own
room？ Why not pass over what happened； in that case as well as in
the other？ Why agitate myself by writing it down？ I don't know！
Why do I keep a diary at all？ Why did the clever thief the other
day （in the English newspaper） keep the very thing to convict him
in the shape of a record of everything he stole？ Why are we not
perfectly reasonable in all that we do？ Why am I not always on my
guard and never inconsistent with myself； like a wicked character
in a novel？ Why？ why？ why？
〃I don't care why！ I must write down what happened between
Midwinter and me to…night； _because_ I must。 There's a reason
that nobody can answermyself included。
* * * * * * *
〃It was half…past eleven。 Armadale had gone。 I had put on my
dressing…gown； and had just sat down to arrange my hair for the
night； when I was surprised by a knock at the door； and Midwinter
came in。
〃He was frightfully pale。 His eyes looked at me with a terrible
despair in them。 He never answered when I expressed my surpris