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forbearing feelings for every creature around her。 Mr。 Elliot was
there； she avoided； but she could pity him。 The Wallises； she had
amusement in understanding them。 Lady Dalrymple and Miss
Carteret； they would soon be innoxious cousins to her。 She cared
not for Mrs。 Clay； and had nothing to blush for in the public
manners of her father and sister。 With the Musgroves； there was
the happy chat of perfect ease； with Captain Harville； the kind…
hearted intercourse of brother and sister； with Lady Russell；
attempts at conversation； which a delicious consciousness cut
short； with Admiral and Mrs。 Croft； everything of peculiar
cordiality and fervent interest； which the same consciousness
sought to conceal；—and with Captain Wentworth； some moments
of communications continually occurring； and always the hope of
more； and always the knowledge of his being there！
It was in one of these short meetings； each apparently occupied
in admiring a fine display of greenhouse plants； that she said—
“I have been thinking over the past； and trying impartially to
judge of the right and wrong； I mean with regard to myself； and I
must believe that I was right； much as I suffered from it； that I was
perfectly right in being guided by the friend whom you will love
better than you do now。 To me； she was in the place of a parent。
Do not mistake me； however。 I am not saying that she did not err
in her advice。 It was； perhaps； one of those cases in which advice is
good or bad only as the event decides； and for myself； I certainly
never should； in any circumstance of tolerable similarity； give such
advice。 But I mean； that I was right in submitting to her； and that
if I had done otherwise； I should have suffered more in continuing
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the engagement than I did even in giving it up； because I should
have suffered in my conscience。 I have now； as far as such a
sentiment is allowable in human nature； nothing to reproach
myself with； and if I mistake not； a strong sense of duty is no bad
part of a woman’s portion。”
He looked at her； looked at Lady Russell； and looking again at
her； replied； as if in cool deliberation；
“Not yet。 But there are hopes of her being forgiven in time。 I
trust to being in charity with her soon。 But I too have been
thinking over the past； and a question has suggested itself；
whether there may not have been one person more my enemy
even than that lady？ My own self。 Tell me if； when I returned to
England in the year eight； with a few thousand pounds； and was
posted into the Laconia； if I had then written to you； would you
have answered my letter？ Would you； in short； have renewed the
engagement then？”
“Would I！” was all her answer； but the accent was decisive
enough。
“Good God！” he cried； “you would！ It is not that I did not think
of it； or desire it； as what could alone crown all my other success；
but I was proud； too proud to ask again。 I did not understand you。
I shut my eyes； and would not understand you； or do you justice。
This is a recollection which ought to make me forgive every one
sooner than myself。 Six years of separation and suffering might
have been spared。 It is a sort of pain； too； which is new to me。 I
have been used to the gratification of believing myself to earn
every blessing that I enjoyed。 I have valued myself on honourable
toils and just rewards。 Like other great men under reverses；” he
added； with a smile； “I must endeavour to subdue my mind to my
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fortune。 I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve。”
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CHAPTER XII
ho can be in doubt of what followed？ When any two
Wyoung people take it into their heads to marry； they are
pretty sure by perseverance to carry their point； be
they ever so poor； or ever so imprudent； or ever so little likely to
be necessary to each other’s ultimate comfort。 This may be bad
morality to conclude with； but I believe it to be truth； and if such
parties succeed； how should a Captain Wentworth and an Anne
Elliot； with the advantage of maturity of mind； consciousness of
right； and one independent fortune between them； fail of bearing
down every opposition？ They might in fact； have borne down a
great deal more than they met with； for there was little to distress
them beyond the want of graciousness and warmth。—Sir Walter
made no objection； and Elizabeth did nothing worse than look cold
and unconcerned。 Captain Wentworth； with five…and…twenty
thousand pounds； and as high in his profession as merit and
activity could place him； was no longer nobody。 He was now
esteemed quite worthy to address the daughter of a foolish；
spendthrift baronet； who had not had principle or sense enough to
maintain himself in the situation in which Providence had placed
him； and who could give his daughter at present but a small part
of the share of ten thousand pounds which must be hers hereafter。
Sir Walter； indeed； though he had no affection for Anne； and no
vanity flattered； to make him really happy on the occasion； was
very far from thinking it a bad match for her。 On the contrary；
when he saw more of Captain Wentworth； saw him repeatedly by
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daylight； and eyed him well； he was very much struck by his
personal claims； and felt that his superiority of appearance might
be not unfairly balanced against her superiority of rank； and all
this； assisted by his well…sounding name； enabled Sir Walter at last
to prepare his pen； with a very good grace； for the insertion of the
marriage in the volume of honour。
The only one among them； whose opposition of feeling could
excite any serious anxiety was Lady Russell。 Anne knew that Lady
Russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and
relinquishing Mr。 Elliot； and be making some struggles to become
truly acquainted with； and do justice to Captain Wentworth。 This
however was what Lady Russell had now to do。 She must learn to
feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both； that she had
been unfairly influenced by appearances in each； that because
Captain Wentworth’s manners had not suited her own ideas； she
had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of
dangerous impetuosity； and that because Mr。 Elliot’s manners had
precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness； their
general politeness and suavity； she had been too quick in receiving
them as the certain result of the most correct opinions and well…
regulated mind。 There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do；
than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong； and to
take up a new set of opinions and of hopes。
There is a quickness of perception in some； a nicety in the
discernment of character； a natural penetration； in short； which no
experience in others can equal； and Lady Russell had been less
gifted in this part of understanding than her young friend。 But she
was a very good woman； and if her second object was to be
sensible and well…judging； her first was to see Anne happy。