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His afternoon's experience had been amusing； still； on the whole； he
wasn't sorry it was over。 One can have too much even of the best of
jokes。 Johnny rang the bell。
The door opened。 Johnny would have walked in had not a big； raw…
boned woman barred his progress。
〃What do you want？〃 demanded the raw…boned woman。
〃Want to come in；〃 explained Johnny。
〃What do you want to come in for？〃
This appeared to Johnny a foolish question。 On reflection he saw
the sense of it。 This raw…boned woman was not Mrs。 Pegg； his
landlady。 Some friend of hers； he supposed。
〃It's all right；〃 said Johnny； 〃I live here。 Left my latchkey at home；
that's all。〃
〃There's no females lodging here；〃 declared the raw…boned lady。
〃And what's more； there's going to be none。〃
All this was very vexing。 Johnny； in his joy at reaching his own
doorstep； had not foreseen these complications。 Now it would be
necessary to explain things。 He only hoped the story would not get
round to the fellows at the club。
〃Ask Mrs。 Pegg to step up for a minute；〃 requested Johnny。
〃Not at 'ome；〃 explained the raw…boned lady。
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〃Notnot at home？〃
〃Gone to Romford； if you wish to know； to see her mother。〃
〃Gone to Romford？〃
〃I said Romford； didn't I？〃 retorted the raw…boned lady； tartly。
〃Whatwhat time do you expect her in？〃
〃Sunday evening； six o'clock；〃 replied the raw…boned lady。
Johnny looked at the raw…boned lady； imagined himself telling the
raw…boned lady the simple； unvarnished truth； and the raw…boned lady's
utter disbelief of every word of it。 An inspiration came to his aid。
〃I am Mr。 Bulstrode's sister；〃 said Johnny meekly； 〃he's expecting
me。〃
〃Thought you said you lived here？〃 reminded him the raw…boned lady。
〃I meant that he lived here；〃 replied poor Johnny still more meekly。
〃He has the second floor； you know。〃
〃I know；〃 replied the raw…boned lady。 〃Not in just at present。〃
〃Not in？〃
〃Went out at three o'clock。〃
〃I'll go up to his room and wait for him；〃 said Johnny。
〃No； you won't；〃 said the raw…boned lady。
For an instant it occurred to Johnny to make a dash for it； but the
raw…boned lady looked both formidable and determined。 There would
be a big disturbanceperhaps the police called in。 Johnny had often
wanted to see his name in print： in connection with this affair he
somehow felt he didn't。
〃Do let me in；〃 Johnny pleaded； 〃I have nowhere else to go。〃
〃You have a walk and cool yourself；〃 suggested the raw…boned lady。
〃Don't expect he will be long。〃
〃But； you see〃
The raw…boned lady slammed the door。
Outside a restaurant in Wellington Street； from which proceeded
savoury odours； Johnny paused and tried to think。
〃What the devil did I do with that umbrella？ I had itno； I didn't。
Must have dropped it； I suppose； when that silly ass tried to stop me。
By Jove！ I am having luck！〃
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Outside another restaurant in the Strand Johnny paused again。 〃How
am I to live till Sunday night？ Where am I to sleep？ If I telegraph
homedamn it！ how can I telegraph？ I haven't got a penny。 This is
funny；〃 said Johnny； unconsciously speaking aloud； 〃upon my word； this
is funny！ Oh！ you go to。〃
Johnny hurled this last at the head of an overgrown errand…boy
whose intention had been to offer sympathy。
〃Well； I never！〃 commented a passing flower…girl。 〃Calls 'erself a
lidy； I suppose。〃
〃Nowadays；〃 observed the stud and button merchant at the corner of
Exeter Street； 〃they make 'em out of anything。〃
Drawn by a notion that was forming in his mind； Johnny turned his
steps up Bedford Street。 〃Why not？〃 mused Johnny。 〃Nobody else
seems to have a suspicion。 Why should they？ I'll never hear the last
of it if they find me out。 But why should they find me out？ Well；
something's got to be done。〃
Johnny walked on quickly。 At the door of the Autolycus Club he was
undecided for a moment； then took his courage in both hands and
plunged through the swing doors。
〃Is Mr。 HerringMr。 Jack Herringhere？〃
〃Find him in the smoking…room； Mr。 Bulstrode；〃 answered old Goslin；
who was reading the evening paper。
〃Oh； would you mind asking him to step out a moment？〃
Old Goslin looked up； took off his spectacles； rubbed them； put them
on again。
〃Please say Miss BulstrodeMr。 Bulstrode's sister。〃
Old Goslin found Jack Herring the centre of an earnest argument on
Hamletwas he really mad？
〃A lady to see you； Mr。 Herring；〃 announced old Goslin。
〃A what？〃
〃Miss BulstrodeMr。 Bulstrode's sister。 She's waiting in the hall。〃
〃Never knew he had a sister；〃 said Jack Herring； rising。
〃Wait a minute；〃 said Harry Bennett。 〃Shut that door。 Don't go。〃
This to old Goslin； who closed the door and returned。 〃Lady in a
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heliotrope dress with a lace collar； three flounces on the skirt？〃
〃That's right； Mr。 Bennett；〃 agreed old Goslin。
〃It's the Babe himself！〃 asserted Harry Bennett。
The question of Hamlet's madness was forgotten。
〃Was in at Stinchcombe's this morning；〃 explained Harry Bennett；
〃saw the clothes on the counter addressed to him。 That's the identical
frock。 This is just a 'try on'thinks he's going to have a lark with us。〃
The Autolycus Club looked round at itself。
〃I can see verra promising possibilities in this； provided the thing is
properly managed；〃 said the Wee Laddie； after a pause。
〃So can I；〃 agreed Jack Herring。 〃Keep where you are； all of you。
'Twould be a pity to fool it；〃
The Autolycus Club waited。 Jack Herring re…entered the room。
〃One of the saddest stories I have ever heard in all my life；〃
explained Jack Herring in a whisper。 〃Poor girl left Derbyshire this
morning to come and see her brother； found him outhasn't been seen at
his lodgings since three o'clock； fears something may have happened to
him。 Landlady gone to Romford to see her mother； strange woman in
charge； won't let her in to wait for him。〃
〃How sad it is when trouble overtakes the innocent and helpless！〃
murmured Somerville the Briefless。
〃That's not the worst of it；〃 continued Jack。 〃The dear girl has been
robbed of everything she possesses； even of her umbrella； and hasn't got
a sou； hasn't had any dinner； and doesn't know where to sleep。〃
〃Sounds a bit elaborate；〃 thought Porson。
〃I think I can understand it；〃 said the Briefless one。 〃What has
happened is this。 He's dressed up thinking to have a bit of fun with us；
and has come out； forgetting to put any money or his latchkey in his
pocket。 His landlady may have gone to Romford or may not。 In any
case； he would have to knock at the door and enter into explanations。
What does he suggestthe loan of a sovereign？〃
〃The loan of two；〃 replied Jack Herring。
〃To buy himself a suit of clothes。 Don't you do it； Jack。
Providence has imposed this upon us。 Our duty is to show him the
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folly of indulging in senseless escapades。〃
〃I think