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He sat and chuckled over it until we got to Bow。〃
〃But〃
〃You wait a minute。 I'm coming to the explanation。 That boy
represents the reading public。 I talked to him。 The papers he likes
best are the papers that have the largest sales。 He never made a single
mistake。 The othersthose of them he had seenhe dismissed as 'rot。'
What he likes is what the great mass of the journal…buying public likes。
Please himI took his name and address； and he is willing to come to us
for eight shillings a weekand you please the people that buy。 Not the
people that glance through a paper when it is lying on the smoking…room
table； and tell you it is damned good； but the people that plank down
their penny。 That's the sort we want。〃
Peter Hope； able editor； with ideals； was shockedindignant。
William Clodd； business man； without ideals； talked figures。
〃There's the advertiser to be thought of；〃 persisted Clodd。 〃I don't
pretend to be a George Washington； but what's the use of telling lies that
sound like lies； even to one's self while one's telling them？ Give me a
genuine sale of twenty thousand； and I'll undertake； without committing
myself； to convey an impression of forty。 But when the actual figures
are under eight thousandwell； it hampers you； if you happen to have a
conscience。
〃Give them every week a dozen columns of good； sound literature；〃
continued Clodd insinuatingly； 〃but wrap it up in twenty…four columns
of jam。 It's the only way they'll take it； and you will be doing them
goodeducating them without their knowing it。 All powder and no jam！
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Tommy and Co。
Well； they don't open their mouths； that's all。〃
Clodd was a man who knew how to get his way。 Flippspelled
PhilipTweetel arrived in due course of time at 23； Crane Court；
ostensibly to take up the position of Good Humour's office…boy； in
reality； and without his being aware of it； to act as its literary taster。
Stories in which Flipp became absorbed were accepted。 Peter groaned；
but contented himself with correcting only their grosser grammatical
blunders； the experiment should be tried in all good faith。 Humour at
which Flipp laughed was printed。 Peter tried to ease his conscience by
increasing his subscription to the fund for destitute compositors； but only
partially succeeded。 Poetry that brought a tear to the eye of Flipp was
given leaded type。 People of taste and judgment said Good Humour
had disappointed them。 Its circulation； slowly but steadily； increased。
〃See！〃 cried the delighted Clodd； 〃told you so！〃
〃It's sad to think〃 began Peter。
〃Always is；〃 interrupted Clodd cheerfully。 〃Moraldon't think too
much。〃
〃Tell you what we'll do；〃 added Clodd。 〃We'll make a fortune out
of this paper。 Then when we can afford to lose a little money； we'll
launch a paper that shall appeal only to the intellectual portion of the
public。 Meanwhile〃
A squat black bottle with a label attached； standing on the desk；
arrested Clodd's attention。
〃When did this come？〃 asked Clodd。
〃About an hour ago；〃 Peter told him。
〃Any order with it？〃
〃I think so。〃 Peter searched for and found a letter addressed to
〃William Clodd； Esq。； Advertising Manager； Good Humour。〃 Clodd
tore it open； hastily devoured it。
〃Not closed up yet； are you？〃
〃No； not till eight o'clock。〃
〃Good！ I want you to write me a par。 Do it now； then you won't
forget it。 For the 'Walnuts and Wine' column。〃
Peter sat down； headed a sheet of paper： 'For W。 and W。 Col。'
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Tommy and Co。
〃What is it？〃 questioned Peter〃something to drink？〃
〃It's a sort of port；〃 explained Clodd； 〃that doesn't get into your
head。〃
〃You consider that an advantage？〃 queried Peter。
〃Of course。 You can drink more of it。〃
Peter continued to write： 'Possesses all the qualities of an old
vintage port； without those deleterious properties' 〃I haven't tasted it；
Clodd；〃 hinted Peter。
〃That's all rightI have。〃
〃And was it good？〃
〃Splendid stuff。 Say it's 'delicious and invigorating。' They'll be
sure to quote that。〃
Peter wrote on： 'Personally I have found it delicious and' Peter
left off writing。 〃I really think； Clodd； I ought to taste it。 You see； I
am personally recommending it。〃
〃Finish that par。 Let me have it to take round to the printers。 Then
put the bottle in your pocket。 Take it home and make a night of it。〃
Clodd appeared to be in a mighty hurry。 Now； this made Peter only
the more suspicious。 The bottle was close to his hand。 Clodd tried to
intercept him； but was not quick enough。
〃You're not used to temperance drinks；〃 urged Clodd。 〃Your palate
is not accustomed to them。〃
〃I can tell whether it's 'delicious' or not； surely？〃 pleaded Peter； who
had pulled out the cork。
〃It's a quarter…page advertisement for thirteen weeks。 Put it down
and don't be a fool！〃 urged Clodd。
〃I'm going to put it down；〃 laughed Peter； who was fond of his joke。
Peter poured out half a tumblerful； and dranksome of it。
〃Like it？〃 demanded Clodd； with a savage grin。
〃You are sureyou are sure it was the right bottle？〃 gasped Peter。
〃Bottle's all right；〃 Clodd assured him。 〃Try some more。 Judge it
fairly。〃
Peter ventured on another sip。 〃You don't think they would be
satisfied if I recommended it as a medicine？〃 insinuated Peter
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Tommy and Co。
〃something to have about the house in case of accidental poisoning？〃
〃Better go round and suggest the idea to them yourself。 I've done
with it。〃 Clodd took up his hat。
〃I'm sorryI'm very sorry；〃 sighed Peter。 〃But I couldn't
conscientiously〃
Clodd put down his hat again with a bang。 〃Oh！ confound that
conscience of yours！ Don't it ever think of your creditors？ What's the
use of my working out my lungs for you； when all you do is to hamper
me at every step？〃
〃Wouldn't it be better policy；〃 urged Peter； 〃to go for the better class
of advertiser； who doesn't ask you for this sort of thing？〃
〃Go for him！〃 snorted Clodd。 〃Do you think I don't go for him？
They are just sheep。 Get one； you get the lot。 Until you've got the
one； the others won't listen to you。〃
〃That's true；〃 mused Peter。 〃I spoke to Wilkinson； of Kingsley's；
myself。 He advised me to try and get Landor's。 He thought that if I
could get an advertisement out of Landor； he might persuade his people
to give us theirs。〃
〃And if you had gone to Landor； he would have promised you theirs
provided you got Kingsley's。〃
〃They will come；〃 thought hopeful Peter。 〃We are going up
steadily。 They will come with a rush。〃
〃They had better come soon；〃 thought Clodd。 〃The only things
coming with a rush just now are bills。〃
〃Those articles of young McTear's attracted a good deal of
attention；〃 expounded Peter。 〃He has promised to write me another
series。〃
〃Jowett is the one to get hold of；〃 mused Clodd。 〃Jowett； all the
others follow like