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him； and I was now again comparatively at my ease。 I did not； it is
true； like my position in his house； but being freed from the
annoyance of false professions and double…dealing I could endure
it； especially as no heroic sentiment of hatred or jealousy of the
director distracted my philosophical soul； he had not； I found；
wounded me in a very tender point； the wound was so soon and so
radically healed； leaving only a sense of contempt for the
treacherous fashion in which it had been inflicted； and a lasting
mistrust of the hand which I had detected attempting to stab in
the dark。
This state of things continued till about the middle of July； and
then there was a little change； Pelet came home one night； an hour
after his usual time； in a state of unequivocal intoxication； a thing
anomalous with him； for if he had some of the worst faults of his
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countrymen； he had also one at least of their virtues； i。e。 sobriety。
So drunk； however； was he upon this occasion； that after having
roused the whole establishment （except the pupils； whose
dormitory being over the classes in a building apart from the
dwelling…house； was consequently out of the reach of disturbance）
by violently ringing the hall…bell and ordering lunch to be brought
in immediately； for he imagined it was noon； whereas the city bells
had just tolled midnight； after having furiously rated the servants
for their want of punctuality； and gone near to chastise his poor
old mother； who advised him to go to bed； he began raving
dreadfully about “le maudit Anglais； Creemsvort。” I had not yet
retired； some German books I had got hold of had kept me up late；
I heard the uproar below； and could distinguish the director’s
voice exalted in a manner as appalling as it was unusual。 Opening
my door a little； I became aware of a demand on his part for
“Creemsvort” to be brought down to him that he might cut his
throat on the hall…table and wash his honour； which he affirmed to
be in a dirty condition； in infernal British blood。 “He is either mad
or drunk；” thought I； “and in either case the old woman and the
servants will be the better of a man’s assistance；” so I descended
straight to the hall。 I found him staggering about； his eyes in a fine
frenzy rolling—a pretty sight he was； a just medium between the
fool and the lunatic。
“Come； M。 Pelet；” said I； “you had better go to bed；” and I took
hold of his arm。 His excitement； of course； increased greatly at
sight and touch of the individual for whose blood he had been
making application： he struggled and struck with fury—but a
drunken man is no match for a sober one； and； even in his normal
state； Pelet’s worn out frame could not have stood against my
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sound one。 I got him up…stairs； and； in process of time； to bed。
During the operation he did not fail to utter comminations which；
though broken； had a sense in them； while stigmatizing me as the
treacherous spawn of a perfidious country； he； in the same breath；
anathematized Zoraide Reuter； he termed her “femme sotte et
vicieuse；” who； in a fit of lewd caprice； had thrown herself away on
an unprincipled adventurer； directing the point of the last
appellation by a furious blow； obliquely aimed at me。 I left him in
the act of bounding elastically out of the bed into which I had
tucked him； but； as I took the precaution of turning the key in the
door behind me； I retired to my own room； assured of his safe
custody till the morning； and free to draw undisturbed conclusions
from the scene I had just witnessed。
Now； it was precisely about this time that the directress； stung
by my coldness； bewitched by my scorn；and excited by the
preference she suspected me of cherishing for another； had fallen
into a snare of her own laying—was herself caught in the meshes
of the very passion with which she wished to entangle me。
Conscious of the state of things in that quarter； I gathered； from
the condition in which I saw my employer； that his lady…love had
betrayed the alienation of her affections—inclinations； rather； I
would say； affection is a word at once too warm and too pure for
the subject—had let him see that the cavity of her hollow heart；
emptied of his image； was now occupied by that of his usher。 It
was not without some surprise that I found myself obliged to
entertain this view of the case； Pelet； with his old…established
school； was so convenient； so profitable a match—Zoraide was so
calculating； so interested a woman—I wondered mere personal
preference could； in her mind； have prevailed for a moment over
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worldly advantage： yet； it was evident； from what Pelet said； that；
not only had she repulsed him； but had even let slip expressions of
partiality for me。 One of his drunken exclamations was； “And the
jade doats on your youth； you raw blockhead！ and talks of your
noble deportment； as she calls your accursed English formality—
and your pure morals； forsooth！ des moeurs de Caton a…t…elle dit—
sotte！” Hers； I thought； must be a curious soul； where in spite of a
strong； natural tendency to estimate unduly advantages of wealth
and station； the sardonic disdain of a fortuneless subordinate had
wrought a deeper impression than could be imprinted by the most
flattering assiduities of a prosperous chef d’institution。 I smiled
inwardly； and strange to say； though my amour propre was excited
not disagreeably by the conquest； my better feelings remained
untouched。 Next day； when I saw the directress； and when she
made an excuse to meet me in the corridor； and besought my
notice by a demeanour and look subdued to Helot humility； I could
not love； I could scarcely pity her。 To answer briefly and dryly
some interesting inquiry about my health—to pass her by with a
stern bow—was all I could； her presence and manner had then；
and for some time previously and consequently； a singular effect
upon me： they sealed up all that was good elicited all that was
noxious in my nature； sometimes they enervated my senses； but
they always hardened my heart。 I was aware of the detriment
done； and quarrelled with myself for the change。 I had ever hated
a tyrant； and； behold； the possession of a slave； self…given； went
near to transform me into what I abhorred！ There was at once a
sort of low gratification in receiving this luscious incense from an
attractive and still young worshipper； and an irritating sense of
degradation in the very experience of the pleasure。 When she stole
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about me with the soft step of a slave； I felt at once barbarous and
sensual as a pasha。 I endured her homage sometimes； sometimes I
rebuked it。 My indifference or harshness served equally to
increase the evil I desired to check。
“Que le dédain lui sied bien！” I once overheard her say to her
mother： “il est beau comme Apollon quand il sourit de son air
hautain。”
And the jolly old dame laughed； and said she thought