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money； hoarded and piled up； instead of being a fertilizing stream； it
is a useless marsh exhaling bad odors。 The queen； having presented the
Dauphin with a carriage whose silver…gilt trappings are decked with
rubies and sapphires； naively exclaims； 〃Has not the king added
200；000 livres to my treasury？ That is no reason for keeping
them！〃＇25＇ They would rather throw it out of the window。 Which was
actually done by the Marshal de Richelieu with a purse he had given to
his grandson； and which the lad； not knowing how to use； brought back
intact。 Money； on this occasion； was at least of service to the
passing street…sweeper that picked it up。 But had there been no
passer…by to pick it up； it would have been thrown into the river。 One
day Mme。 de B … ； being with the Prince de Conti； hinted that she
would like a miniature of her canary bird set in a ring。 The Prince
offers to have it made。 His offer is accepted； but on condition that
the miniature be set plain and without jewels。 Accordingly the
miniature is placed in a simple rim of gold。 But； to cover over the
painting； a large diamond； made very thin； serves as a glass。 Mme。 de
B … ； having returned the diamond； 〃M。 le Prince de Conti had it
ground to powder which he used to dry the ink of the note he wrote to
Mme。 de B … on the subject。〃 This pinch of powder cost 4 or 5；000
livres； but we may divine the turn and tone of the note。 The extreme
of profusion must accompany the height of gallantry； the man of the
world being so much the more important according to his contempt for
money。
III。 UNIVERSAL PLEASURE SEEKING。
Moral divorce of husband and wife。 … Gallantry。 … Separation of
parents and children。 … Education； its object and omissions。 … The
tone of servants and purveyors。 … Pleasure seeking universal。
In a drawing room the woman who receives the least attention from a
man is his own wife； and she returns the compliment。 Hence at a time
like this； when people live for society and in society； there is no
place for conjugal intimacy。 … Moreover； when a married couple
occupy an exalted position they are separated by custom and decorum。
Each party has his or her own household； or at least their own
apartments； servants； equipage； receptions and distinct society； and；
as entertainment entails ceremony； they stand towards each other in
deference to their rank on the footing of polite strangers。 They are
each announced in each other's apartment； they address each other
〃Madame； Monsieur；〃 and not alone in public； but in private； they
shrug their shoulders when； sixty leagues out from Paris； they
encounter in some old chateau a provincial wife ignorant enough to say
〃my dear 〃 to her husband before company。＇26＇ … Already separated at
the fireside； the two lives diverge beyond it at an ever increasing
radius。 The husband has a government of his own： his private command；
his private regiment； his post at court； which keeps him absent from
home； only in his declining years does his wife consent to follow him
into garrison or into the provinces。＇27＇ And rather is this the case
because she is herself occupied； and as seriously as himself； often
with a position near a princess； and always with an important circle
of company which she must maintain。 At this epoch woman is as active
as man；＇28＇ following the same career； and with the same resources；
consisting of the flexible voice； the winning grace； the insinuating
manner； the tact； the quick perception of the right moment； and the
art of pleasing； demanding； and obtaining； there is not a lady at
court who does not bestow regiments and benefices。 Through this right
the wife has her personal retinue of solicitors and protégés； also；
like her husband； her friends； her enemies； her own ambitions；
disappointments； and rancorous feeling； nothing could be more
effectual in the disruption of a household than this similarity of
occupation and this division of interests。 … The tie thus loosened
ends by being sundered under the ascendancy of opinion。 〃It looks well
not to live together；〃 to grant each other every species of tolerance；
and to devote oneself to society。 Society； indeed； then fashions
opinion； and through opinion it creates the morals which it requires。
Toward the middle of the century the husband and wife lodged under
the same roof； but that was all。 〃They never saw each other； one never
met them in the same carriage； they are never met in the same house；
nor； with very good reason； are they ever together in public。〃 Strong
emotions would have seemed odd and even 〃ridiculous；〃 in any event
unbecoming； it would have been as unacceptable as an earnest remark
〃aside〃 in the general current of light conversation。 Each has a duty
to all； and for a couple to entertain each other is isolation； in
company there is no right to the tête…à…tête。＇29＇ It was hardly
allowed for a few days to lovers。＇30＇ And even then it was regarded
unfavorably； they were found too much occupied with each other。 Their
preoccupation spread around them an atmosphere of 〃constraint and
ennui； one had to be upon one's guard and to check oneself。〃 They were
〃dreaded。〃 The exigencies of society are those of an absolute king；
and admit of no partition。 〃If morals lost by this； society was
infinitely the gainer；〃 says M。 de Bezenval； a contemporary； 〃having
got rid of the annoyances and dullness caused by the husbands'
presence； the freedom was extreme； the coquetry both of men and women
kept up social vivacity and daily provided piquant adventures。〃 Nobody
is jealous； not even when in love。 〃People are mutually pleased and
become attached； if one grows weary of the other； they part with as
little concern as they came together。 Should the sentiment revive they
take to each other with as much vivacity as if it were the first time
they had been engaged。 They may again separate； but they never
quarrel。 As they have become enamored without love； they part without
hate； deriving from the feeble desire they have inspired the advantage
of being always ready to oblige。〃＇31＇ Appearances； moreover； are
respected。 An uninformed stranger would detect nothing to excite
suspicion。 An extreme curiosity； says Horace Walpole；＇32＇ or a great
familiarity with things； is necessary to detect the slightest intimacy
between the two sexes。 No familiarity is allowed except under the
guise of friendship； while the vocabulary of love is as much
prohibited as its rites apparently are。 Even with Crébillon fils； even
with Laclos； at the most exciting moments； the terms their characters
employ are circumspect and irreproachable。 Whatever indecency there
may be； it is never expressed in words； the sense of propriety in
language imposing itself not only on the outbursts of passion； but
again on the grossness of instincts。 Thus do the sentiments which are
naturally the strongest lose their point and sharpness； their rich and
polished remains are converted into playthings for the drawing room；
and； thus cast to and fro by the whitest hands； fall on the floor like
a shuttlecock。 We must； on this point； listen to the heroes of the
epoch； their free and easy tone is inimitable； and it depicts both
them and their actions。 〃I conducted myself；〃 says the Duc de Lauzun；
〃very prudently； and even deferentially with Mme。 de Lauzun； I knew
Mme。 de Cambis very openly； for whom I concerned myself very little； I
kept the little Eugénie whom I loved a great deal； I played high； I
paid my court to the king； and I hunted with him with great
punctuality。〃＇33＇ He had for others； withal； that indulgence of which
he himself stood in need。 〃He was asked what he would say if his wife
（whom he had not seen for ten years） should write to him that she had
just discovered that she was enceinte。 He reflected a moment and then
replied； 'I would write； and tell her that I was delighted that heaven
had blessed our union； be careful of your health； I will call and pay
my respects this evening。' 〃 There are countless replies of the same
sort； and I venture to say that； without having read them； one could
not imagine to what a degree social art had overcome natural
instincts。
〃Here at Paris；〃 writes Mme。 d'Oberkirk； 〃I am no longer my own
mistress。 I scarcely have time to talk with my husband and to answer
my letters。 I do not know what women do that are accustomed to lead
this life； they certainly have no families to look after； nor children
to educate。〃 At all events they act as if they had none； and the men
likewise。 Married people not living together live but rarely with
their children； and the causes that disintegrate wedlock also
disintegrate the family。 In the first place there is the aristocratic
tradition； which interposes a barrier between parents and children
with a view to maintain a respectful distance。 Although enfeebled and
about to disappear；＇34＇ this trad