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robert falconer-第72章

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terror。



'I mean; my boy; that I shall not live long。  I know thatthank

God!'



'How do you know it?'



'My father died at thirty; and my mother at six…and…twenty; both of

the same disease。  But that's not how I know it。'



'How do you know it then?'



Ericson returned no answer。  He only said



'Death will be better than life。  One thing I don't like about it

though;' he added; 'is the coming on of unconsciousness。  I cannot

bear to lose my consciousness even in sleep。  It is such a terrible

thing!'



'I suppose that's ane o' the reasons that we canna be content

withoot a God;' responded Robert。 'It's dreidfu' to think even o'

fa'in' asleep withoot some ane greater an' nearer than the me

watchin' ower 't。  But I'm jist sayin' ower again what I hae read in

ane o' your papers; Mr。 Ericson。  Jist lat me luik。'



Venturing more than he had ever yet ventured; Robert rose and went

to the cupboard where Ericson's papers lay。  His friend did not

check him。  On the contrary; he took the papers from his hand; and

searched for the poem indicated。



'I'm not in the way of doing this sort of thing; Robert;' he said。



'I know that;' answered Robert。



And Ericson read。



SLEEP。



Oh; is it Death that comes

To have a foretaste of the whole?

  To…night the planets and the stars

  Will glimmer through my window…bars;

But will not shine upon my soul。



For I shall lie as dead;

Though yet I am above the ground;

  All passionless; with scarce a breath;

  With hands of rest and eyes of death;

I shall be carried swiftly round。



Or if my life should break

The idle night with doubtful gleams

  Through mossy arches will I go;

  Through arches ruinous and low;

And chase the true and false in dreams。



Why should I fall asleep?

When I am still upon my bed;

  The moon will shine; the winds will rise;

  And all around and through the skies

The light clouds travel o'er my head。



O; busy; busy things!

Ye mock me with your ceaseless life;

  For all the hidden springs will flow;

  And all the blades of grass will grow;

When I have neither peace nor strife。



And all the long night through;

The restless streams will hurry by;

  And round the lands; with endless roar;

  The white waves fall upon the shore;

And bit by bit devour the dry。



Even thus; but silently;

Eternity; thy tide shall flow

  And side by side with every star

  Thy long…drawn swell shall bear me far;

An idle boat with none to row。



My senses fail with sleep;

My heart beats thick; the night is noon;

  And faintly through its misty folds

  I hear a drowsy clock that holds

Its converse with the waning moon。



Oh; solemn mystery!

That I should be so closely bound

  With neither terror nor constraint

  Without a murmur of complaint;

And lose myself upon such ground!



'Rubbish!' said Ericson; as he threw down the sheets; disgusted with

his own work; which so often disappoints the writer; especially if

he is by any chance betrayed into reading it aloud。



'Dinna say that; Mr。 Ericson;' returned Robert。 'Ye maunna say that。

Ye hae nae richt to lauch at honest wark; whether it be yer ain or

ony ither body's。  The poem noo'



'Don't call it a poem;' interrupted Ericson。 'It's not worthy of the

name。'



'I will ca' 't a poem;' persisted Robert; 'for it's a poem to me;

whatever it may be to you。  An' hoo I ken 'at it's a poem is jist

this: it opens my een like music to something I never saw afore。'



'What is that?' asked Ericson; not sorry to be persuaded that there

might after all be some merit in the productions painfully despised

of himself。



'Jist this: it's only whan ye dinna want to fa' asleep 'at it luiks

fearsome to ye。  An' maybe the fear o' death comes i' the same way:

we're feared at it 'cause we're no a'thegither ready for 't; but

whan the richt time comes; it'll be as nat'ral as fa'in' asleep whan

we're doonricht sleepy。  Gin there be a God to ca' oor Father in

heaven; I'm no thinkin' that he wad to sae mony bonny tunes pit a

scraich for the hinder end。  I'm thinkin'; gin there be onything in

't avaye ken I'm no sayin'; for I dinna kenwe maun jist lippen

till him to dee dacent an' bonny; an' nae sic strange awfu' fash

aboot it as some fowk wad mak a religion o' expeckin'。'



Ericson looked at Robert with admiration mingled with something akin

to merriment。



'One would think it was your grandfather holding forth; Robert;' he

said。 'How came you to think of such things at your age?'



'I'm thinkin';' answered Robert; 'ye warna muckle aulder nor mysel'

whan ye took to sic things; Mr。 Ericson。  But; 'deed; maybe my

luckie…daddie (grandfather) pat them i' my heid; for I had a heap

ado wi' his fiddle for a while。  She's deid noo。'



Not understanding him; Ericson began to question; and out came the

story of the violins。  They talked on till the last of their coals

was burnt out; and then they went to bed。



Shargar had undertaken to rouse them early; that they might set out

on their long walk with a long day before them。  But Robert was

awake before Shargar。  The all but soulless light of the dreary

season awoke him; and he rose and looked out。  Aurora; as aged now

as her loved Tithonus; peered; gray…haired and desolate; over the

edge of the tossing sea; with hardly enough of light in her dim eyes

to show the broken crests of the waves that rushed shorewards before

the wind of her rising。  Such an east wind was the right breath to

issue from such a pale mouth of hopeless revelation as that which

opened with dead lips across the troubled sea on the far horizon。

While he gazed; the east darkened; a cloud of hail rushed against

the window; and Robert retreated to his bed。  But ere he had fallen

asleep; Ericson was beside him; and before he was dressed; Ericson

appeared again; with his stick in his hand。  They left Shargar still

asleep; and descended the stairs; thinking to leave the house

undisturbed。  But Mrs。 Fyvie was watching for them; and insisted on

their taking the breakfast she had prepared。  They then set out on

their journey of forty miles; with half a loaf in their pockets; and

money enough to get bread and cheese; and a bottle of the poorest

ale; at the far…parted roadside inns。



When Shargar awoke; he wept in desolation; then crept into Robert's

bed; and fell fast asleep again。









CHAPTER XVI。



A STRANGE NIGHT。



The youths had not left the city a mile behind; when a thick

snowstorm came on。  It did not last long; however; and they fought

their way through it into a glimpse of sun。  To Robert; healthy;

powerful; and except at rare times; hopeful; it added to the

pleasure of the journey to contend with the storm; and there was a

certain steely indifference about Ericson that carried him through。

They trudged on steadily for three hours along a good turnpike

road; with great black masses of cloud sweeping across the sky;

which now sent them a glimmer of sunlight; and now a sharp shower of

hail。  The country was very drearya succession of undulations

rising into bleak moorlands; and hills whose heather would in autumn

flush the land with glorious purple; but which now looked black and

cheerless; as if no sunshine could ever warm them。  Now and then the

moorland would sweep down to the edge of the road; diversified with

dark holes from which peats were dug; and an occasional quarry of

gray granite。  At one moment endless pools would be shining in the

sunlight; and the next the hail would be dancing a mad fantastic

dance all about them: they pulled their caps over their brows; bent

their heads; and struggled on。



At length they reached their first stage; and after a meal of bread

and cheese and an offered glass of whisky; started again on their

journey。  They did not talk much; for their force was spent on their

progress。



After some consultation whether to keep the road or take a certain

short cut across the moors; which would lead them into it again with

a saving of several miles; the sun shining out with a little

stronger promise than he had yet given; they resolved upon the

latter。  But in the middle of the moorland the wind and the hail

came on with increased violence; and they were glad to tack from one

to another of the huge stones that lay about; and take a short

breathing time under the lee of each; so that when they recovered

the road; they had lost as many miles in time and strength as they

had saved in distance。  They did not give in; however; but after

another rest and a little more refreshment; started again。



The evening was now growing dusk around them; and the fatigue of the

day was telling so severely on Ericson; that when in the twilight

they heard the blast of a horn behind them; and turning saw the two

flaming eyes of a well…known four…horse coach come fluctuating

towards them; Robert insi
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