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Miss Bronte had not been many weeks in her new situation before she had a proof of the kind…hearted hospitality of her employers。 Mr。wrote to her father； and urgently invited him to come and make acquaintance with his daughter's new home； by spending a week with her in it； and Mrs。expressed great regret when one of Miss Bronte's friends drove up to the house to leave a letter or parcel； without entering。 So she found that all her friends might freely visit her； and that her father would be received with especial gladness。 She thankfully acknowledged this kindness in writing to urge her friend afresh to come and see her； which she accordingly did。
〃June； 1841。
〃You can hardly fancy it possible； I dare say； that I cannot find a quarter of an hour to scribble a note in； but so it is； and when a note is written； it has to be carried a mile to the post； and that consumes nearly an hour； which is a large portion of the day。 Mr。 and Mrs。have been gone a week。 I heard from them this morning。 No time is fixed for their return； but I hope it will not be delayed long； or I shall miss the chance of seeing Anne this vacation。 She came home； I understand； last Wednesday； and is only to be allowed three weeks' vacation； because the family she is with are going to Scarborough。 I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE HER； to judge for myself of the state of her health。 I dare not trust any other person's report； no one seems minute enough in their observations。 I should very much have liked you to have seen her。 I have got on very well with the servants and children so far； yet it is dreary； solitary work。 You can tell as well as me the lonely feeling of being without a companion。〃
Soon after this was written； Mr。 and Mrs。returned； in time to allow Charlotte to go and look after Anne's health； which； as she found to her intense anxiety； was far from strong。 What could she do to nurse and cherish up this little sister； the youngest of them all？ Apprehension about her brought up once more the idea of keeping a school。 If； by this means； they three could live together； and maintain themselves； all might go well。 They would have some time of their own； in which to try again and yet again at that literary career； which； in spite of all baffling difficulties； was never quite set aside as an ultimate object； but far the strongest motive with Charlotte was the conviction that Anne's health was so delicate that it required a degree of tending which none but her sister could give。 Thus she wrote during those midsummer holidays。
〃Haworth； July 18th； 1841。
〃We waited long and anxiously for you； on the Thursday that you promised to come。 I quite wearied my eyes with watching from the window； eye…glass in hand； and sometimes spectacles on nose。 However； you are not to blame 。 。 。 and as to disappointment； why； all must suffer disappointment at some period or other of their lives。 But a hundred things I had to say to you will now be forgotten； and never said。 There is a project hatching in this house； which both Emily and I anxiously wished to discuss with you。 The project is yet in its infancy； hardly peeping from its shell； and whether it will ever come out a fine full…fledged chicken； or will turn addle and die before it cheeps； is one of those considerations that are but dimly revealed by the oracles of futurity。 Now； don't be nonplussed by all this metaphorical mystery。 I talk of a plain and everyday occurrence； though； in Delphic style； I wrap up the information in figures of speech concerning eggs； chickens etceatera； etcaeterorum。 To come to the point： Papa and aunt talk； by fits and starts； of ourid est； Emily； Anne； and myselfcommencing a school！ I have often； you know； said how much I wished such a thing； but I never could conceive where the capital was to come from for making such a speculation。 I was well aware； indeed； that aunt had money； but I always considered that she was the last person who would offer a loan for the purpose in question。 A loan； however； she HAS offered； or rather intimates that she perhaps WILL offer in case pupils can be secured； an eligible situation obtained； &c。 This sounds very fair； but still there are matters to be considered which throw something of a damp upon the scheme。 I do not expect that aunt will sink more than 150L。 in such a venture； and would it be possible to establish a respectable （not by any means a SHOWY） school； and to commence housekeeping with a capital of only that amount？ Propound the question to your sister； if you think she can answer it； if not； don't say a word on the subject。 As to getting into debt； that is a thing we could none of us reconcile our mind to for a moment。 We do not care how modest； how humble our commencement be； so it be made on sure grounds； and have a safe foundation。 In thinking of all possible and impossible places where we could establish a school； I have thought of Burlington； or rather of the neighbourhood of Burlington。 Do you remember whether there was any other school there besides that of Miss …？ This is； of course； a perfectly crude and random idea。 There are a hundred reasons why it should be an impracticable one。 We have no connections； no acquaintances there； it is far from home； &c。 Still； I fancy the ground in the East Riding is less fully occupied than in the West。 Much inquiry and consideration will be necessary； of course； before any place is decided on； and I fear much time will elapse before any plan is executed 。 。 。 Write as soon as you can。 I shall not leave my present situation till my future prospects assume a more fixed and definite aspect。〃
A fortnight afterwards； we see that the seed has been sown which was to grow up into a plan materially influencing her future life。
〃August 7th； 1841。
〃This is Saturday evening； I have put the children to bed； now I am going to sit down and answer your letter。 I am again by myselfhousekeeper and governessfor Mr。 and Mrs。are staying at …。 To speak truth； though I am solitary while they are away； it is still by far the happiest part of my time。 The children are under decent control； the servants are very observant and attentive to me； and the occasional absence of the master and mistress relieves me from the duty of always endeavouring to seem cheerful and conversable。 Martha …； it appears； is in the way of enjoying great advantages； so is Mary； for you will be surprised to hear that she is returning immediately to the Continent with her brother； not； however； to stay there； but to take a month's tour and recreation。 I have had a long letter from Mary； and a packet containing a present of a very handsome black silk scarf； and a pair of beautiful kid gloves； bought at Brussels。 Of course； I was in one sense pleased with the giftpleased that they should think of me so far off； amidst the excitements of one of the most splendid capitals of Europe； and yet it felt irksome to accept it。 I should think Mary and Martha have not more than sufficient pocket…money to supply themselves。 I wish they had testified their regard by a less expensive token。 Mary's letters spoke of some of the pictures and cathedrals she had seen pictures the most exquisite； cathedrals the most venerable。 I hardly know what swelled to my throat as I read her letter： such a vehement impatience of restraint and steady work； such a strong wish for wingswings such as wealth can furnish； such an urgent thirst to see； to know； to learn； something internal seemed to expand bodily for a minute。 I was tantalised by the consciousness of faculties unexercised；then all collapsed； and I despaired。 My dear； I would hardly make that confession to any one but yourself； and to you； rather in a letter than VIVA VOCE。 These rebellious and absurd emotions were only momentary； I quelled them in five minutes。 I hope they will not revive； for they were acutely painful。 No further steps have been taken about the project I mentioned to you； nor probably will be for the present； but Emily； and Anne； and I； keep it in view。 It is our polar star； and we look to it in all circumstances of despondency。 I begin to suspect I am writing in a strain which will make you think I am unhappy。 This is far from being the case； on the contrary； I know my place is a favourable one； for a governess。 What dismays and haunts me sometimes； is a conviction that I have no natural knack for my vocation。 If teaching only were requisite； it would be smooth and easy； but it is the living in other people's housesthe estrangement from one's real character… …the adoption of a cold； rigid； apathetic exterior； that is painful 。 。 。 You will not mention our school project at present。 A project not actually commenced is always uncertain。 Write to me often； my dear Nell； you KNOW your letters are valued。 Your 'loving child' （as you choose to call me so）；
C。 B。
〃P。S。 I am well in health； don't fancy I am not； but I have one aching feeling at my heart （I must allude to it； though I had resolved not to）。 It is about Anne； she has so much to endure： far； far more than I ever had。 When my thoughts turn to her； they always see her as a patient； persecuted stranger。 I know what concealed susceptibility is in her nature； when her feelings a