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nobler than any which wealth or titles can bestow； will be born to a very
scanty fortune。 He will display in his early youth such striking talents as
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will attract the notice of Viscount Quongti； his third cousin； then secretary
of state for the Steam Department。 At the expense of this eminent
nobleman； he will be sent to prosecute his studies at the university of
Tombuctoo。 To that illustrious seat of the muses all the ingenuous youth
of every country will then be attracted by the high scientific character of
Professor Quashaboo； and the eminent literary attainments of Professor
Kissey Kickey。 In spite of this formidable competition； however；
Quongti will acquire the highest honours in every department of
knowledge； and will obtain the esteem of his associates by his amiable and
unaffected manners。 The guardians of the young Duke of Carrington；
premier peer of England； and the last remaining scion of the ancient and
illustrious house of Smith； will be desirous to secure so able an instructor
for their ward。 With the Duke； Quongti will perform the grand tour； and
visit the polished courts of Sydney and Capetown。 After prevailing on
his pupil； with great difficulty； to subdue a violent and imprudent passion
which he had conceived for a Hottentot lady； of great beauty and
accomplishments indeed； but of dubious character； he will travel with him
to the United States of America。 But that tremendous war which will be
fatal to American liberty will； at that time； be raging through the whole
federation。 At New York the travellers will hear of the final defeat and
death of the illustrious champion of freedom； Jonathon Higginbottom； and
of the elevation of Ebenezer Hogsflesh to the perpetual Presidency。 They
will not choose to proceed in a journey which would expose them to the
insults of that brutal soldiery； whose cruelty and rapacity will have
devastated Mexico and Colombia； and now； at length； enslaved their own
country。
On their return to England； A。D。 2810； the death of the Duke will
compel his preceptor to seek for a subsistence by literary labours。 His
fame will be raised by many small productions of considerable merit； and
he will at last obtain a permanent place in the highest class of writers by
his great epic poem。
The celebrated work will become； with unexampled rapidity； a popular
favourite。 The sale will be so beneficial to the author that； instead of
going about the dirty streets on his velocipede； he will be enabled to set up
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his balloon。
The character of this noble poem will be so finely and justly given in
the Tombuctoo Review for April 2825； that I cannot refrain from
translating the passage。 The author will be our poet's old preceptor；
Professor Kissey Kickey。
〃In pathos； in splendour of language； in sweetness of versification； Mr
Quongti has long been considered as unrivalled。 In his exquisite poem on
the Ornithorhynchus Paradoxus all these qualities are displayed in their
greatest perfection。 How exquisitely does that work arrest and embody
the undefined and vague shadows which flit over an imaginative mind。
The cold worldling may not comprehend it； but it will find a response in
the bosom of every youthful poet； of every enthusiastic lover； who has
seen an Ornithorhynchus Paradoxus by moonlight。 But we were yet to
learn that he possessed the comprehension； the judgment； and the fertility
of mind indispensable to the epic poet。
〃It is difficult to conceive a plot more perfect than that of the
'Wellingtoniad。' It is most faithful to the manners of the age to which it
relates。 It preserves exactly all the historical circumstances； and
interweaves them most artfully with all the speciosa miracula of
supernatural agency。〃
Thus far the learned Professor of Humanity in the university of
Tombuctoo。 I fear that the critics of our time will form an opinion
diametrically opposite as to these every points。 Some will； I fear； be
disgusted by the machinery； which is derived from the mythology of
ancient Greece。 I can only say that； in the twenty…ninth century； that
machinery will be universally in use among poets； and that Quongti will
use it； partly in conformity with the general practice； and partly from a
veneration； perhaps excessive； for the great remains of classical antiquity；
which will then； as now； be assiduously read by every man of education；
though Tom Moore's songs will be forgotten； and only three copies of
Lord Byron's works will exist： one in the possession of King George the
Nineteenth； one in the Duke of Carrington's collection； and one in the
library of the British Museum。 Finally； should any good people be
concerned to hear that Pagan fictions will so long retain their influence
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over literature； let them reflect that； as the Bishop of St David's says； in his
〃Proofs of the Inspiration of the Sibylline Verses；〃 read at the last meeting
of the Royal Society of Literature； 〃at all events； a Pagan is not a Papist。〃
Some readers of the present day may think that Quongti is by no
means entitled to the compliments which his Negro critic pays him on his
adherence to the historical circumstances of the time in which he has
chosen his subject； that； where he introduces any trait of our manners； it is
in the wrong place； and that he confounds the customs of our age with
those of much more remote periods。 I can only say that the charge is
infinitely more applicable to Homer； Virgil； and Tasso。 If； therefore； the
reader should detect； in the following abstract of the plot； any little
deviation from strict historical accuracy； let him reflect； for a moment；
whether Agamemnon would not have found as much to censure in the
Iliad；Dido in the Aeneid；or Godfrey in the Jerusalem。 Let him not
suffer his opinions to depend on circumstances which cannot possibly
affect the truth or falsehood of the representation。 If it be impossible for
a single man to kill hundreds in battle； the impossibility is not diminished
by distance of time。 If it be as certain that Rinaldo never disenchanted a
forest in Palestine as it is that the Duke of Wellington never disenchanted
the forest of Soignies； can we； as rational men； tolerate the one story and
ridicule the other？ Of this； at least； I am certain； that whatever excuse we
have for admiring the plots of those famous poems our children will have
for extolling that of the 〃Wellingtoniad。〃
I shall proceed to give a sketch of the narrative。 The subject is 〃The
Reign of the Hundred Days。〃
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BOOK I。
The poem commences； in form； with a solemn proposition of the
subject。 Then the muse is invoked to give the poet accurate information
as to the causes of so terrible a commotion。 The answer to this question；
being； it is to be supposed； the joint production of the poet and the muse；
ascribes the event to circumstances which have hitherto eluded all the
research of political writers； namely； the influence of the god Mars； who；
we are told； had some forty years before usurped the conjugal rights of old
Carlo Buonaparte； and given birth