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if one's doomed to be snuffed out at last along with everything else��' Yes�察�
yes。 I know exactly how you feel。 It's most distressing if one allows
oneself to be distressed。 But then why allow oneself to be distressed�拭�
After all�察�we all know that there's no ultimate point。 But what difference
does that make�拭─�
At this point the somnambulist suddenly woke up。 ;What�拭─�he said�察�
blinking and frowning at his interlocutor。 ;What�拭─ �Then breaking
away he dashed up the stairs�察�two steps at a time。
Mr。 Scogan ran to the foot of the stairs and called up after him。 ;It
makes no difference�察 �none whatever。 Life is gay all the same�察 �always�察�
under whatever circumstancesunder whatever circumstances�察─�he added�察�
raising his voice to a shout。 But Denis was already far out of hearing�察�
and even if he had not been�察�his mind to´night was proof against all the
consolations of philosophy。 Mr。 Scogan replaced his pipe between his
teeth and resumed his meditative pacing。 ;Under any circumstances�察─�he
repeated to himself。 It was ungrammatical to begin with�察 �was it true�拭�
And is life really its own reward�拭 �He wondered。 When his pipe had
burned itself to its stinking conclusion he took a drink of gin and went to
bed。 In ten minutes he was deeply�察�innocently asleep。
Denis had mechanically undressed and�察 �clad in those flowered silk
pyjamas of which he was so justly proud�察�was lying face downwards on
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his bed。 Time passed。 When at last he looked up�察�the candle which he
had left alight at his bedside had burned down almost to the socket。 He
looked at his watch�察�it was nearly half´past one。 His head ached�察�his dry�察�
sleepless eyes felt as though they had been bruised from behind�察�and the
blood was beating within his ears a loud arterial drum。 He got up�察�
opened the door�察 �tiptoed noiselessly along the passage�察 �and began to
mount the stairs towards the higher floors。 Arrived at the servants'
quarters under the roof�察�he hesitated�察�then turning to the right he opened a
little door at the end of the corridor。 Within was a pitch´ dark cupboard´
like boxroom�察 �hot�察 �stuffy�察 �and smelling of dust and old leather。 He
advanced cautiously into the blackness�察�groping with his hands。 It was
from this den that the ladder went up to the leads of the western tower。
He found the ladder�察�and set his feet on the rungs�察�noiselessly�察�he lifted the
trap´door above his head�察�the moonlit sky was over him�察�he breathed the
fresh�察�cool air of the night。 In a moment he was standing on the leads�察�
gazing out over the dim�察 �colourless landscape�察 �looking perpendicularly
down at the terrace seventy feet below。
Why had he climbed up to this high�察�desolate place�拭 �Was it to look at
the moon�拭 �Was it to commit suicide�拭 �As yet he hardly knew。 Death
the tears came into his eyes when he thought of it。 His misery assumed a
certain solemnity�察�he was lifted up on the wings of a kind of exaltation。
It was a mood in which he might have done almost anything�察 �however
foolish。 He advanced towards the farther parapet�察 �the drop was sheer
there and uninterrupted。 A good leap�察 �and perhaps one might clear the
narrow terrace and so crash down yet another thirty feet to the sun´baked
ground below。 He paused at the corner of the tower�察�looking now down
into the shadowy gulf below�察�now up towards the rare stars and the waning
moon。 He made a gesture with his hand�察�muttered something�察�he could
not afterwards remember what�察�but the fact that he had said it aloud gave
the utterance a peculiarly terrible significance。 Then he looked down
once more into the depths。
;What ARE you doing�察�Denis�拭─�questioned a voice from somewhere
very close behind him。
Denis uttered a cry of frightened surprise�察�and very nearly went over
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the parapet in good earnest。 His heart was beating terribly�察�and he was
pale when�察 �recovering himself�察 �he turned round in the direction from
which the voice had come。
;Are you ill�拭─�
In the profound shadow that slept under the eastern parapet of the
tower�察�he saw something he had not previously noticedan oblong shape。
It was a mattress�察�and someone was lying on it。 Since that first memorable
night on the tower�察 �Mary had slept out every evening�察 �it was a sort of
manifestation of fidelity。
;It gave me a fright�察─�she went on�察 �to wake up and see you waving
your arms and gibbering there。 What on earth were you doing�拭─�
Denis laughed melodramatically。 ;What�察 �indeed� ─ �he said。 If she
hadn't woken up as she did�察�he would be lying in pieces at the bottom of
the tower�察�he was certain of that�察�now。
;You hadn't got designs on me�察�I hope�拭─�Mary inquired�察�jumping too
rapidly to conclusions。
;I didn't know you were here�察─�said Denis�察�laughing more bitterly and
artificially than before。
;What IS the matter�察�Denis�拭─�
He sat down on the edge of the mattress�察 �and for all reply went on
laughing in the same frightful and improbable tone。
An hour later he was reposing with his head on Mary's knees�察�and she�察�
with an affectionate solicitude that was wholly maternal�察�was running her
fingers through his tangled hair。 He had told her everything�察�everything�此�
his hopeless love�察 �his jealousy�察 �his despair�察 �his suicideas it were
providentially averted by her interposition。 He had solemnly promised
never to think of self´ destruction again。 And now his soul was floating
in a sad serenity。 It was embalmed in the sympathy that Mary so
generously poured。 And it was not only in receiving sympathy that Denis
found serenity and even a kind of happiness�察�it was also in giving it。 For
if he had told Mary everything about his miseries�察�Mary�察�reacting to these
confidences�察�had told him in return everything�察�or very nearly everything�察�
about her own。
;Poor Mary� ─ �He was very sorry for her。 Still�察 �she might have
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guessed that Ivor wasn't precisely a monument of constancy。
;Well�察─�she concluded�察 �one must put a good face on it。; She wanted
to cry�察�but she wouldn't allow herself to be weak。 There was a silence。
;Do you think�察─ �asked Denis hesitatingly;do you really think that
she。。。that Gombauld。。。;
;I'm sure of it�察─�Mary answered decisively。 There was another long
pause。
;I don't know what to do about it�察─�he said at last�察�utterly dejected。
;You'd better go away�察─�advised Mary。 ;It's the safest thing�察�and the
most sensible。;
;But I've arranged to stay here three weeks more。;
;You must concoct an excuse。;
;I suppose you're right。;
;I know I am�察─ �said Mary�察 �who was recovering all her firm self´
possession。 ;You can't go on like this�察�can you�拭─�
;No�察�I can't go on like this�察─�he echoed。
Immensely practical�察�Mary invented a plan of action。 Startlingly�察�in the
darkness�察�the church clock struck three。
;You must go to bed at once�察─�she said。 ;I'd no idea it was so late。;
Denis clambered down the ladder�察�cautiously descended the creaking
stairs。 His room was dark�察�the candle had long ago guttered to extinction。
He got into bed and fell asleep almost at once。
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CHAPTER XXX。
Denis had been called�察 �but in spite of the parted curtains he had
dropped off again into that drowsy�察 �dozy state when sleep becomes a
sensual pleasure almost consciously savoured。 In this condition he might
have remained fo