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Worldly Ways and Byways
Worldly Ways and
Byways
Eliot Gregory
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Worldly Ways and Byways
To the Reader
THERE existed formerly； in diplomatic circles； a curious custom；
since fallen into disuse； entitled the Pele Mele； contrived doubtless by
some distracted Master of Ceremonies to quell the endless jealousies and
quarrels for precedence between courtiers and diplomatists of contending
pretensions。 Under this rule no rank was recognized； each person being
allowed at banquet； fete； or other public ceremony only such place as he
had been ingenious or fortunate enough to obtain。
Any one wishing to form an idea of the confusion that ensued； of the
intrigues and expedients resorted to； not only in procuring prominent
places； but also in ensuring the integrity of the Pele Mele； should glance
over the amusing memoirs of M。 de Segur。
The aspiring nobles and ambassadors； harassed by this constant
preoccupation； had little time or inclination left for any serious pursuit；
since； to take a moment's repose or an hour's breathing space was to risk
falling behind in the endless and aimless race。 Strange as it may appear；
the knowledge that they owed place and preferment more to chance or
intrigue than to any personal merit or inherited right； instead of lessening
the value of the prizes for which all were striving； seemed only to enhance
them in the eyes of the competitors。
Success was the unique standard by which they gauged their fellows。
Those who succeeded revelled in the adulation of their friends； but when
any one failed； the fickle crowd passed him by to bow at more fortunate
feet。
No better picture could be found of the 〃world〃 of to…day； a perpetual
Pele Mele； where such advantages only are conceded as we have been
sufficiently enterprising to obtain； and are strong or clever enough to keep
… a constant competition； a daily steeplechase； favorable to daring spirits
and personal initiative but with the defect of keeping frail humanity ever
on the qui vive。
Philosophers tell us； that we should seek happiness only in the calm of
our own minds； not allowing external conditions or the opinions of others
to influence our ways。 This lofty detachment from environment is
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Worldly Ways and Byways
achieved by very few。 Indeed； the philosophers themselves （who may be
said to have invented the art of 〃posing〃） were generally as vain as
peacocks； profoundly pre…occupied with the verdict of their
contemporaries and their position as regards posterity。
Man is born gregarious and remains all his life a herding animal。 As
one keen observer has written； 〃So great is man's horror of being alone
that he will seek the society of those he neither likes nor respects sooner
than be left to his own。〃 The laws and conventions that govern men's
intercourse have； therefore； formed a tempting subject for the writers of all
ages。 Some have labored hoping to reform their generation； others have
written to offer solutions for life's many problems。
Beaumarchais； whose penetrating wit left few subjects untouched；
makes his Figaro put the subject aside with 〃Je me presse de rire de tout；
de peur d'etre oblige d'en pleurer。〃
The author of this little volume pretends to settle no disputes； aims at
inaugurating no reforms。 He has lightly touched on passing topics and
jotted down； 〃to point a moral or adorn a tale；〃 some of the more obvious
foibles and inconsistencies of our American ways。 If a stray bit of
philosophy has here and there slipped in between the lines； it is mostly of
the laughing 〃school；〃 and used more in banter than in blame。
This much abused 〃world〃 is a fairly agreeable place if you do not take
it seriously。 Meet it with a friendly face and it will smile gayly back at you；
but do not ask of it what it cannot give； or attribute to its verdicts more
importance than they deserve。
ELIOT GREGORY
Newport； November first； 1897
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CHAPTER 1 … Charm
WOMEN endowed by nature with the indescribable quality we call
〃charm〃 （for want of a better word）； are the supreme development of a
perfected race； the last word； as it were； of civilization； the flower of their
kind； crowning centuries of growing refinement and cultivation。 Other
women may unite a thousand brilliant qualities； and attractive attributes；
may be beautiful as Astarte or witty as Madame de Montespan； those
endowed with the power of charm； have in all ages and under every sky；
held undisputed rule over the hearts of their generation。
When we look at the portraits of the enchantresses whom history tells
us have ruled the world by their charm； and swayed the destinies of
empires at their fancy； we are astonished to find that they have rarely been
beautiful。 From Cleopatra or Mary of Scotland down to Lola Montez； the
tell…tale coin or canvas reveals the same marvellous fact。 We wonder how
these women attained such influence over the men of their day； their
husbands or lovers。 We would do better to look around us； or inward； and
observe what is passing in our own hearts。
Pause； reader mine； a moment and reflect。 Who has held the first place
in your thoughts； filled your soul； and influenced your life？ Was she the
most beautiful of your acquaintances； the radiant vision that dazzled your
boyish eyes？ Has she not rather been some gentle； quiet woman whom
you hardly noticed the first time your paths crossed； but who gradually
grew to be a part of your life … to whom you instinctively turned for
consolation in moments of discouragement； for counsel in your difficulties；
and whose welcome was the bright moment in your day； looked forward to
through long hours of toil and worry？
In the hurly…burly of life we lose sight of so many things our fathers
and mothers clung to； and have drifted so far away from their gentle
customs and simple； home…loving habits； that one wonders what
impression our society would make on a woman of a century ago； could
she by some spell be dropped into the swing of modern days。 The good
soul would be apt to find it rather a far cry from the quiet pleasures of her
youth； to 〃a ladies' amateur bicycle race〃 that formed the attraction
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recently at a summer resort。
That we should have come to think it natural and proper for a young
wife and mother to pass her mornings at golf； lunching at the club… house
to 〃save time；〃 returning home only for a hurried change of toilet to start
again on a bicycle or for a round of calls； an occupation that will leave her
just the half…hour necessary to slip into a dinner gown； and then for her to
pass the evening in dancing or at the card…table； shows； when one takes the
time to think of it； how unconsciously we have changed； and （with all
apologies to the gay hostesses and graceful athletes of to…day） not for the
better。
It is just in the subtle quality of charm that the women of the last ten
years have fallen away from their elder sisters。 They have been carried
along by a love of sport； and by the set of fashion's tide； not stopping to
ask themselves whither they are floating。 They do not realize all the
importance of their acts nor the true meaning of their metamorphosis。
The dear creatures should be content； for they have at last escaped
from the bondage of ages； have broken their chains； and vaulted over their
prison walls。 〃Lords and masters〃 have gradually become very humble
and obedient servants； and the 〃love； honour； and obey〃 of the marriage
service might