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AMPH。 I do not know； but it was not I； this despair makes me capable
of anything。
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Amphitryon
ALC。 Away unworthy husband； the deed speaks for itself； the
imposture is frightful。 It is too great an insult to accuse me of infidelity。 If
these confused transports mean that you seek a pretext to break the nuptial
bonds which hold me enchained to you； all these pretences are superfluous；
for I am determined that this day all our ties shall be broken。
AMPH。 After the unworthy affront； which I now learn has been done
me； that is indeed what you must prepare yourself for； it is the least that
can be expected； and things may not perhaps remain there。 The dishonour
is sure； my misery is made plain to me； and my pride in vain would hide it
from me。 The details are still not clear： My anger is just and I claim to be
enlightened。 Your brother can positively avouch that I did not leave him
until this morning： I will go and seek him； in order that I may confound
you about the return falsely imputed to me。 Afterwards； we will penetrate
to the bottom of a mystery unheard of until now； and； in the fury of a
righteous anger； woe to him who has betrayed me！
SOS。 Monsieur 。 。 。
AMPH。 Do not accompany me； but remain here for me。
CLE。 Must I 。 。 。？
ALC。 I cannot hear anything： leave me alone： do not follow me。
SCENE III
CLEANTHIS； SOSIE
CLE。 Something must have turned his brain； but the brother will soon
finish this quarrel。
SOS。 This is a very sharp blow for my master； his fate is cruel。 I
greatly fear something coming for myself。 I will go softly in enlightening
her。
CLE。 Let me see whether he will so much as speak to me！ I will not
reveal anything。
SOS。 These things are often annoying when one knows about them： I
hesitate to ask her。 Would it not be better not to risk anything； and to
ignore what may have happened？ Yet； at all hazard； I must see。 I cannot
help myself。 Curiosity concerning things which one would rather not
know is a human weakness。 Heaven preserve you； Cleanthis！
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Amphitryon
CLE。 Ah！ Ah！ You dare to come near me； you villain！
SOS。 Good Heavens！ What is the matter with you？ You are always in a
temper； and become angry about nothing！
CLE。 What do you call about nothing？ Speak out。
SOS。 I call about nothing what is called about nothing in verse as well
as in prose； and nothing； as you well know； means to say nothing； or very
little。
CLE。 I do not know what keeps me from scratching your eyes out；
infamous rascal； to teach you how far the anger of a woman can go。
SOS。 Hullo！ What do you mean by this furious rage？
CLE。 Then you call that nothing； perhaps； which you have done to
me？
SOS。 What was that？
CLE。 So？ You feign to be innocent？ Do you follow the example of
your master and say you did not return here？
SOS。 No； I know the contrary too well； but I will be frank with you。
We had drunk some wretched wine； which might have made me forget
what I did。
CLE。 You think； perhaps； to excuse yourself by this trick； 。 。 。
SOS。 No； in truth you may believe me。 I was in such a condition that I
may have done things I should regret； I do not remember what they were。
CLE。 You do not even remember the manner in which you thought fit
to treat me when you came from the port？
SOS。 Not at all。 You had better tell me all about it； I am just and
sincere； and would condemn myself were I wrong。
CLE。Well？ Amphitryon having warned me of your return； I sat up
until you came； but I never saw such coldness： I had myself to remind you
that you had a wife； and； when I wanted to kiss you； you； turned away
your head； and gave me your ear。
SOS。 Good。
CLE。 What do you mean by good？
SOS。 Good gracious！ You do not know why I talk like this； Cleanthis：
I had been eating garlic； and； like a well…bred man； just turned my breath
away from you。
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Amphitryon
CLE。 I showed you every possible tenderness； but you were as deaf as
a post to everything I said； never a kind word passed your lips。
SOS。 Courage！
CLE。 In short； my flame bad to burn alone； its chaste ardour did not
find anything in you but ice； you were the culprit in a return that might
have been so different： you even went so far as to refuse to take your place
in bed； which the laws of wedlock oblige you to occupy。
SOS。 What？ Did I not go to bed？
CLE。 No； you coward。
SOS。 Is it possible？
CLE。 It is but too true； you rascal。 Of all affronts this affront is the
greatest； and； instead of your heart repairing its wrong this morning； you
left me with words full of undisguised contempt。
SOS。 Vivat Sosie！
CLE。 Eh； what？ Has my complaint had this effect？ You laugh at your
fine goings on？
SOS。 How pleased I am with myself！
CLE。 Is this the way to express your grief at such an outrage？
SOS。 I should never have believed I could be so prudent。
CLE。 Instead of condemning yourself for such a perfidious trick； you
rejoice at it to my face！
SOS。 Good gracious！ Gently； gently！ If I appear pleased； you must
believe that I have a very strong private reason for it； without thinking of it；
I never did better than in using you in such a manner as I did。
CLE。 Are you laughing at me； you villain？
SOS。 No； I am speaking openly to you。 I was in a wretched state。 I had
a certain load； which your words have lifted from my soul。 I was very
apprehensive； and feared that I had played the fool with you。
CLE。 What is this fear？ Come； let us know what you mean。
SOS。 The doctors say that； when one is drunk； one should abstain from
one's wife； for； in that condition we can only have children who are dull；
and who cannot live。 Think； if my heart had not armed itself with coldness；
what troubles might have followed！
CLE。 I do not care a fig for doctors； with their insipid reasonings。 Let
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Amphitryon
them rule those who are sick without wishing to govern healthy people。
They meddle with too many affairs when they seek to rein in our chaste
desires； in addition to the dog days； and their strict rules； they tell us a
hundred ridiculous stories into the bargain。
SOS。 Gently。
CLE。 No； I maintain theirs is a worthless conclusion： those reasons
come from idiotic brains。 Neither wine nor time ought to prevent the
duties of conjugal love from being fulfilled； doctors are donkeys。
SOS。 I entreat you； moderate your anger against them； they are honest
people； whatever the world may say of them。
CLE。 Things are not what you think them； you can shut up； your
excuse will not go down； and； sooner or later； I tell you plainly； I will
avenge myself for the contempt you show me every day。 I remember
everything you said just now； and I shall try to make use of the liberty you
gave me； You faithless； cowardly husband。
SOS。 What？
CLE。 You told me just now； you villain； that you would heartily agree
to my loving another。
SOS。 Ah！ In that matter I was wrong。 I retract； my honour is at stake。
You had better beware you do not give way to that sentiment。
CLE。 Nevertheless if some time I can make up my mind to the
thing 。 。 。
SOS。 Just stop talking for the present。 Amphitryon is coming back； and
he seems pleased。
SCENE IV
JUPITER； CLEANTHIS； SOSIE
JUP。 I shall take this opportunity of appearing to Alcmene to banish
the sorrow in which she wishes to indulge； and； under the pretence that
brings me here； I will gratify my passion with the delight of a
reconciliation with