梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈��梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈��梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何��
!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
strange and terrible scene which I shall have to narrate in my subsequent
life。
This happier life at Geneva was put an end to by a severe illness�察�
which is partly a blank to me�察 �partly a time of dimly´remembered
suffering�察 �with the presence of my father by my bed from time to time。
Then came the languid monotony of convalescence�察 �the days gradually
breaking into variety and distinctness as my strength enabled me to take
longer and longer drives。 On one of these more vividly remembered
days�察�my father said to me�察�as he sat beside my sofa ´
;When you are quite well enough to travel�察�Latimer�察�I shall take you
home with me。 The journey will amuse you and do you good�察�for I shall
go through the Tyrol and Austria�察 �and you will see many new places。
Our neighbours�察�the Filmores�察�are come�察�Alfred will join us at Basle�察�and
we shall all go together to Vienna�察�and back by Prague; 。 。 。
My father was called away before he had finished his sentence�察�and he
left my mind resting on the word PRAGUE�察 �with a strange sense that a
new and wondrous scene was breaking upon me�此 �a city under the broad
sunshine�察�that seemed to me as if it were the summer sunshine of a long´
past century arrested in its courseunrefreshed for ages by dews of night�察�
or the rushing rain´cloud�察�scorching the dusty�察�weary�察�time´eaten grandeur
of a people doomed to live on in the stale repetition of memories�察 �like
deposed and superannuated kings in their regal gold´inwoven tatters。
The city looked so thirsty that the broad river seemed to me a sheet of
metal�察�and the blackened statues�察�as I passed under their blank gaze�察�along
the unending bridge�察�with their ancient garments and their saintly crowns�察�
seemed to me the real inhabitants and owners of this place�察�while the busy�察�
trivial men and women�察�hurrying to and fro�察�were a swarm of ephemeral
visitants infesting it for a day。 It is such grim�察 �stony beings as these�察 �I
thought�察 �who are the fathers of ancient faded children�察 �in those tanned
time´fretted dwellings that crowd the steep before me�察�who pay their court
in the worn and crumbling pomp of the palace which stretches its
monotonous length on the height�察�who worship wearily in the stifling air
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of the churches�察�urged by no fear or hope�察�but compelled by their doom to
be ever old and undying�察�to live on in the rigidity of habit�察�as they live on
in perpetual midday�察 �without the repose of night or the new birth of
morning。
A stunning clang of metal suddenly thrilled through me�察�and I became
conscious of the objects in my room again�此 �one of the fire´ irons had
fallen as Pierre opened the door to bring me my draught。 My heart was
palpitating violently�察�and I begged Pierre to leave my draught beside me�察�I
would take it presently。
As soon as I was alone again�察 �I began to ask myself whether I had
been sleeping。 Was this a dreamthis wonderfully distinct vision´ ´
minute in its distinctness down to a patch of rainbow light on the
pavement�察�transmitted through a coloured lamp in the shape of a starof a
strange city�察�quite unfamiliar to my imagination�拭 �I had seen no picture of
Prague�此 �it lay in my mind as a mere name�察 �with vaguely´remembered
historical associationsill´defined memories of imperial grandeur and
religious wars。
Nothing of this sort had ever occurred in my dreaming experience
before�察 �for I had often been humiliated because my dreams were only
saved from being utterly disjointed and commonplace by the frequent
terrors of nightmare。 But I could not believe that I had been asleep�察�for I
remembered distinctly the gradual breaking´in of the vision upon me�察�like
the new images in a dissolving view�察 �or the growing distinctness of the
landscape as the sun lifts up the veil of the morning mist。 And while I
was conscious of this incipient vision�察 �I was also conscious that Pierre
came to tell my father Mr。 Filmore was waiting for him�察�and that my father
hurried out of the room。 No�察�it was not a dream�察�was itthe thought was
full of tremulous exultationwas it the poet's nature in me�察�hitherto only a
troubled yearning sensibility�察 �now manifesting itself suddenly as
spontaneous creation�拭 �Surely it was in this way that Homer saw the
plain of Troy�察�that Dante saw the abodes of the departed�察�that Milton saw
the earthward flight of the Tempter。 Was it that my illness had wrought
some happy change in my organizationgiven a firmer tension to my
nervescarried off some dull obstruction�拭 �I had often read of such
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effectsin works of fiction at least。 Nay�察 �in genuine biographies I had
read of the subtilizing or exalting influence of some diseases on the mental
powers。 Did not Novalis feel his inspiration intensified under the
progress of consumption�拭�
When my mind had dwelt for some time on this blissful idea�察 �it
seemed to me that I might perhaps test it by an exertion of my will。 The
vision had begun when my father was speaking of our going to Prague。 I
did not for a moment believe it was really a representation of that city�察�I
believedI hoped it was a picture that my newly liberated genius had
painted in fiery haste�察 �with the colours snatched from lazy memory。
Suppose I were to fix my mind on some other placeVenice�察�for example�察�
which was far more familiar to my imagination than Prague�此 �perhaps the
same sort of result would follow。 I concentrated my thoughts on Venice�察�
I stimulated my imagination with poetic memories�察 �and strove to feel
myself present in Venice�察 �as I had felt myself present in Prague。 But in
vain。 I was only colouring the Canaletto engravings that hung in my old
bedroom at home�察 �the picture was a shifting one�察 �my mind wandering
uncertainly in search of more vivid images�察 �I could see no accident of
form or shadow without conscious labour after the necessary conditions。
It was all prosaic effort�察�not rapt passivity�察�such as I had experienced half
an hour before。 I was discouraged�察 �but I remembered that inspiration
was fitful。
For several days I was in a state of excited expectation�察�watching for a
recurrence of my new gift。 I sent my thoughts ranging over my world of
knowledge�察 �in the hope that they would find some object which would
send a reawakening vibration through my slumbering genius。 But no�察�my
world remained as dim as ever�察�and that flash of strange light refused to
come again�察�though I watched for it with palpitating eagerness。
My father accompanied me every day in a drive�察 �and a gradually
lengthening walk as my powers of walking increased�察�and one evening he
had agreed to come and fetch me at twelve the next day�察�that we might go
together to select a musical box�察�and other purchases rigorously demanded
of a rich Englishman visiting Geneva。 He was one of the most punctual
of men and bankers�察�and I was always nervously anxious to be quite ready
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for him at the appointed time。 But�察�to my surprise�察�at a quarter past twelve
he had not appeared。 I felt all the impatience of a convalescent who has
nothing particular to do�察�and who has just taken a tonic in the prospect of
immediate exercise that would carry off the stimulus。
Unable to sit still and reserve my strength�察�I walked up and down the
room�察 �looking out on the current of the Rhone�察 �just where it leaves the
dark´blue lake�察�but thinking