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the heat and worry to make tension； but； as the clock…hands crept up to
three o…clock and the machines spun their fly…wheels two and three times
to see that all was in order； before I said the word that would set them off；
I could have shrieked aloud。
Then the roar and rattle of the wheels shivered the quiet into little bits。
I rose to go away； but two men in white clothes stood in front of me。 The
first one said； 〃It's him！〃 The second said； 〃So it is！〃 And they both
laughed almost as loudly as the machinery roared； and mopped their
foreheads。 〃We seed there was a light burning across the road； and we
were sleeping in that ditch there for coolness； and I said to my friend here；
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'The office is open。 Let's come along and speak to him as turned us back
from Degumber State；' 〃 said the smaller of the two。 He was the man I had
met in the Mhow train； and his fellow was the red…bearded man of Marwar
Junction。 There was no mistaking the eyebrows of the one or the beard of
the other。
I was not pleased； because I wished to go to sleep； not to squabble
with loafers。 〃What do you want？〃 I asked。
〃Half an hour's talk with you； cool and comfortable； in the office；〃 said
the red…bearded man。 〃We'd /like/ some drink；the Contrack doesn't begin
yet； Peachey； so you needn't look；but what we really want is advice。 We
don't want money。 We ask you as a favour； because we found out you did
us a bad turn about Degumber State。〃
I led from the press…room to the stifling office with the maps on the
walls； and the red…haired man rubbed his hands。 〃That's something like；〃
said he。 〃This was the proper shop to come to。 Now； Sir； let me introduce
you to Brother Peachey Carnehan； that's him； and Brother Daniel Dravot；
that is /me/； and the less said about our professions the better； for we have
been most things in our timesoldier； sailor； compositor； photographer；
proof…reader； street…preacher； and correspondents of the 'Backwoodsman'
when we thought the paper wanted one。 Carnehan is sober； and so am I。
Look at us first； and see that's sure。 It will save you cutting into my talk。
We'll take one of your cigars apiece； and you shall see us light up。〃
I watched the test。 The men were absolutely sober； so I gave them each
a tepid whisky…and…soda。
〃Well /and/ good；〃 said Carnehan of the eyebrows； wiping the froth
from his moustache。 〃Let me talk now； Dan。 We have been all over India；
mostly on foot。 We have been boiler…fitters； engine…drivers； petty
contractors； and all that； and we have decided that India isn't big enough
for such as us。〃
They certainly were too big for the office。 Dravot's beard seemed to
fill half the room and Carnehan's shoulders the other half； as they sat on
the big table。 Carnehan continued： 〃The country isn't half worked out
because they that governs it won't let you touch it。 They spend all their
blessed time in governing it； and you can't lift a spade； nor chip a rock； nor
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look for oil； nor anything like that； without all the Government saying；
'Leave it alone； and let us govern。' Therefore； such /as/ it is； we will let it
alone； and go away to some other place where a man isn't crowded and
can come to his own。 We are not little men； and there is nothing that we
are afraid of except Drink； and we have signed a Contrack on that。
/Therefore/ we are going away to be Kings。〃
〃Kings in our own right；〃 muttered Dravot。
〃Yes； of course；〃 I said。 〃You've been tramping in the sun； and it's a
very warm night； and hadn't you better sleep over the notion？ Come to…
morrow。〃
〃Neither drunk nor sunstruck；〃 said Dravot。 〃We have slept over the
notion half a year； and require to see Books and Atlases； and we have
decided that there is only one place now in the world that two strong men
can Sar…a…/whack/。 They call it Kafiristan。 By my reckoning it's the top
right…hand corner of Afghanistan； not more than three hundred miles from
Peshawar。 They have two and thirty heathen idols there； and we'll be the
thirty…third and fourth。 It's a mountaineous country； the women of those
parts are very beautiful。〃
〃But that is provided against in the Contrack；〃 said Carnehan。 〃Neither
Women nor Liqu…or； Daniel。〃
〃And that's all we know； except that no one has gone there； and they
fight； and in any place where they fight a man who knows how to drill
men can always be a King。 We shall go to those parts and say to any King
we find； 'D' you want to vanquish your foes？' and we will show him how
to drill men； for that we know better than anything else。 Then we will
subvert that King and seize his Throne and establish a Dy…nasty。〃
〃You'll be cut to pieces before you're fifty miles across the Border；〃 I
said。 〃You have to travel through Afghanistan to get to that country。 It's
one mass of mountains and peaks and glaciers； and no Englishman has
been through it。 The people are utter brutes； and even if you reached them
you couldn't do anything。〃 〃That's more like；〃 said Carnehan。 〃If you
could think us a little more mad we would be more pleased。 We have come
to you to know about this country； to read a book about it； and to be shown
maps。 We want you to tell us that we are fools and to show us your
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books。〃 He turned to the bookcases。
〃Are you at all in earnest？〃 I said。
〃A little；〃 said Dravot； sweetly。 〃As big a map as you have got； even if
it's all blank where Kafiristan is； and any books you've got。 We can read；
though we aren't very educated。〃
I uncased the big thirty…two…miles…to…the…inch map of India and two
smaller Frontier maps； hauled down volume INF…KAN of the
〃Encyclopaedia Britannica；〃 and the men consulted them。
〃See here！〃 said Dravot； his thumb on the map。 〃Up to Jagdallak；
Peachey and me know the road。 We was there with Robert's Army。 We'll
have to turn off to the right at Jagdallak through Laghmann territory。 Then
we get among the hillsfourteen thousand feetfifteen thousand it will
be cold work there； but it don't look very far on the map。〃
I handed him Wood on the 〃Sources of the Oxus。〃 Carnehan was deep
in the 〃Encyclopaedia。〃
〃They're a mixed lot；〃 said Dravot； reflectively； 〃and it won't help us
to know the names of their tribes。 The more tribes the more they'll fight；
and the better for us。 From Jagdallak to Ashang。 H'mm！〃
〃But all the information about the country is as sketchy and inaccurate
as can be；〃 I protested。 〃No one knows anything about it really。 Here's the
file of the 'United Services' Institute。' Read what Bellew says。〃
〃Blow Bellew！〃 said Carnehan。 〃Dan； they're a stinkin' lot of heathens；
but this book here says they think they're related to us English。〃
I smoked while the men poured over Raverty； Wood； the maps； and the
〃Encyclopaedia。〃
〃There is no use your waiting；〃 said Dravot； politely。 〃It's about four
o'clock now。 We'll go before six o'clock if you want to sleep； and we won't
steal any of the papers。 Don't you sit up。 We're two harmless lunatics； and
if you come to…morrow evening down to the Serai we'll say good…bye to
you。〃
〃You /are/ two fools；〃 I answered。 〃You'll be turned back at the
Frontier or cut up the minute you set foot in Afghanistan。 Do you want any
money or a recommendation down…country？ I can help you to the chance
of work next week。〃
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〃Next week we shall be hard at work ourselves； thank you；〃 said
Dravot。 〃It isn't so easy being a King as it looks。 When we've got our
Kingdom in going order we'll let you know； and you can come up and help
us govern it。〃
〃Would two lunatics make a Contrack like that？〃 said Carnehan； with
subdued pride； showing me a greasy half…sheet