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eminded you； that even this place was a point in the great warfaring system of Europe； and might on some future day be ringed about with cannon smoke and thunder； and make itself a name among strong towns。
The drum； at any rate； from its martial voice and notable physiological effect； nay； even from its cumbrous and comical shape； stands alone among the instruments of noise。 And if it be true； as I have heard it said； that drums are covered with asses' skin； what a picturesque irony is there in that！ As if this long… suffering animal's hide had not been sufficiently belaboured during life； now by Lyonnese costermongers； now by presumptuous Hebrew prophets； it must be stripped from his poor hinder quarters after death； stretched on a drum； and beaten night after night round the streets of every garrison town in Europe。 And up the heights of Alma and Spicheren； and wherever death has his red flag a…flying； and sounds his own potent tuck upon the cannons； there also must the drummer…boy； hurrying with white face over fallen comrades； batter and bemaul this slip of skin from the loins of peaceable donkeys。
Generally a man is never more uselessly employed than when he is at this trick of bastinadoing asses' hide。 We know what effect it has in life； and how your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating。 But in this state of mummy and melancholy survival of itself； when the hollow skin reverberates to the drummer's wrist； and each dub… a…dub goes direct to a man's heart； and puts madness there； and that disposition of the pulses which we； in our big way of talking； nickname Heroism：… is there not something in the nature of a revenge upon the donkey's persecutors？ Of old； he might say； you drubbed me up hill and down dale； and I must endure； but now that I am dead； those dull thwacks that were scarcely audible in country lanes； have become stirring music in front of the brigade； and for every blow that you lay on my old greatcoat； you will see a comrade stumble and fall。
Not long after the drums had passed the CAFE； the CIGARETTE and the ARETHUSA began to grow sleepy； and set out for the hotel； which was only a door or two away。 But although we had been somewhat indifferent to Landrecies； Landrecies had not been indifferent to us。 All day； we learned； people had been running out between the squalls to visit our two boats。 Hundreds of persons； so said report； although it fitted ill with our idea of the town … hundreds of persons had inspected them where they lay in a coal…shed。 We were becoming lions in Landrecies； who had been only pedlars the night before in Pont。
And now； when we left the CAFE； we were pursued and overtaken at the hotel door by no less a person than the JUGE DE PAIX： a functionary； as far as I can make out； of the character of a Scots Sheriff…Substitute。 He gave us his card and invited us to sup with him on the spot； very neatly； very gracefully； as Frenchmen can do these things。 It was for the credit of Landrecies； said he； and although we knew very well how little credit we could do the place； we must have been churlish fellows to refuse an invitation so politely introduced。
The house of the Judge was close by； it was a well…appointed bachelor's establishment； with a curious collection of old brass warming…pans upon the walls。 Some of these were most elaborately carved。 It seemed a picturesque idea for a collector。 You could not help thinking how many night…caps had wagged over these warming…pans in past generations； what jests may have been made； and kisses taken； while they were in service； and how often they had been uselessly paraded in the bed of death。 If they could only speak； at what absurd； indecorous； and tragical scenes had they not been present！
The wine was excellent。 When we made the Judge our compliments upon a bottle； 'I do not give it you as my worst；' said he。 I wonder when Englishmen will learn these hospitable graces。 They are worth learning； they set off life； and make ordinary moments ornamental。
There were two other Landrecienses present。 One was the collector of something or other； I forget what； the other； we were told； was the principal notary of the place。 So it happened that we all five more or less followed the law。 At this rate； the talk was pretty certain to become technical。 The CIGARETTE expounded the Poor Laws very magisterially。 And a little later I found myself laying down the Scots Law of Illegitimacy； of which I am glad to say I know nothing。 The collector and the notary； who were both married men； accused the Judge； who was a bachelor； of having started the subject。 He deprecated the charge； with a conscious； pleased air； just like all the men I have ever seen； be they French or English。 How strange that we should all； in our unguarded moments； rather like to be thought a bit of a rogue with the women！
As the evening went on； the wine grew more to my taste； the spirits proved better than the wine； the company was genial。 This was the highest water mark of popular favour on the whole cruise。 After all； being in a Judge's house； was there not something semi… official in the tribute？ And so； remembering what a great country France is； we did full justice to our entertainment。 Landrecies had been a long while asleep before we returned to the hotel； and the sentries on the ramparts were already looking for daybreak。
SAMBRE AND OISE CANAL
CANAL BOATS
NEXT day we made a late start in the rain。 The Judge politely escorted us to the end of the lock under an umbrella。 We had now brought ourselves to a pitch of humility in the matter of weather； not often attained except in the Scottish Highlands。 A rag of blue sky or a glimpse of sunshine set our hearts singing； and when the rain was not heavy； we counted the day almost fair。
Long lines of barges lay one after another along the canal； many of them looking mighty spruce and shipshape in their jerkin of Archangel tar picked out with white and green。 Some carried gay iron railings； and quite a parterre of flower…pots。 Children played on the decks； as heedless of the rain as if they had been brought up on Loch Carron side； men fished over the gunwale； some of them under umbrellas； women did their washing； and every barge boasted its mongrel cur by way of watch…dog。 Each one barked furiously at the canoes； running alongside until he had got to the end of his own ship； and so passing on the word to the dog aboard the next。 We must have seen something like a hundred of these embarkations in the course of that day's paddle； ranged one after another like the houses in a street； and from not one of them were we disappointed of this accompaniment。 It was like visiting a menagerie； the CIGARETTE remarked。
These little cities by the canal side had a very odd effect upon the mind。 They seemed； with their flower…pots and smoking chimneys； their washings and dinners； a rooted piece of nature in the scene； and yet if only the canal below were to open； one junk after another would hoist sail or harness horses and swim away into all parts of France； and the impromptu hamlet would separate； house by house； to the four winds。 The children who played together to… day by the Sambre and Oise Canal； each at his own father's threshold； when and where might they next meet？
For some time past the subject of barges had occupied a great deal of our talk； and we had projected an old age on the canals of Europe。 It was to be the most leisurely of progresses； now on a swift river at the tail of a steam…boat； now waiting horses for days together on some inconsiderable junction。 We should be seen pottering on deck in all the dignity of years； our white beards falling into our laps。 We were ever to be busied among paint…pots； so that there should be no white fresher； and no green more emerald than ours； in all the navy of the canals。 There should be books in the cabin； and tobacco…jars； and some old Burgundy as red as a November sunset and as odorous as a violet in April。 There should be a flageolet； whence the CIGARETTE； with cunning touch； should draw melting music under the stars； or perhaps； laying that aside； upraise his voice … somewhat thinner than of yore； and with here and there a quaver； or call it a natural grace…note … in rich and solemn psalmody。
All this； simmering in my mind； set me wishing to go aboard one of these ideal houses of lounging。 I had plenty to choose from； as I coasted one after another； and the dogs bayed at me for a vagrant。 At last I saw a nice old man and his wife looking at me with some interest； so I gave them good…day and pulled up alongside。 I began with a remark upon their dog； which had somewhat the look of a pointer； thence I slid into a compliment on Madame's flowers； and thence into a word in praise of their way of life。
If you ventured on such an experiment in England you would get a slap in the face at once。 The life would be shown to be a vile one； not without a side shot at your better fortune。 Now； what I like so much in France is the clear unflinching recognition by everybody of his own luck。 They