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the ship's company who were still ashore。 I answered that I would wait
for nothing； and when he asked why； was inspired to tell him that it
was because I went about the King's business； having letters from his
Grace to deliver to his Envoys in the South Seas that brooked of no
delay； since on them hung peace or war。
〃Beware；〃 I said to him； 〃how you； or any of you； dare to disobey the
King's orders； for you know that the fate of such is a short shrift
and a long rope。〃
Then that captain grew frightened and summoned the sailors； who by now
had slept off their drink； and to them he told my commands。 They
murmured； pointing to the sky； but when they saw me standing there；
wearing a knight's armour and looking very stern with my hand upon my
sword； when also through Kari I promised them double pay for the
voyage； they； too； grew frightened； and having set some small sails；
got up the anchors。
So it came about that within little more than an hour of our boarding
of that ship she was running out towards the sea as fast as tide and
wind could drive her。 I think that it was not too soon； for as the
quay vanished in the gloom I saw men with lanterns moving on it； and
thought to myself that perhaps an alarm had been given and they were
come to take me。
This captain was one who knew the river well； and with the help of
another sailor he steered us down its reaches safely。 By dawn we had
passed Tilbury and at full light were off Gravesend racing for the
open sea。 Now it was that behind us we perceived from the rushing
clouds that the gale； which had lulled during the night； was coming up
more strongly than ever and still easterly。 The sailors grew afraid
again and together with the captain vowed that it was madness to face
the sea in such weather； and that we must anchor； or make the shore if
we could。
I refused to listen to them； whereat they seemed to give way。
At that moment Kari； who had gone forward； called to me。 I went to him
and he pointed out to me men galloping along the bank and waving
kerchiefs； as though to signal to us to stop。
〃I think； Master；〃 said Kari； 〃that some have entered the sun…room at
your house。〃
I nodded and watched the men who galloped and waved。 For some minutes
I watched them till suddenly I saw that the ship was altering her
course so that her bow pointed first one way and then another； as
though she were no longer being steered。 We ran aft to learn the
cause； and found this。
That crew of dastards； every man of them and the captain with them；
had drawn up the boat in which Kari and I came aboard； that was still
tied to the ship's stern； and slid down the rope into her； purposing
to win ashore before it was too late。 Kari smiled as though he were
not astonished； but in my rage I shouted at them； calling them curs
and traitors。 I think that the captain heard my words for I saw him
turn his head and look away as though in shame； but not the others。
They were engaged in hunting for the oars； only to find them gone； for
it would seem that they had been washed or had fallen overboard。
Then they tried to set some kind of sail by aid of a boathook； but
while they were doing this； the boat； which had drifted side on to the
great waves raised by the gale upon the face of the broad river；
overturned。 I saw some of the men clinging to the boat and one or two
scrambling on to her keel； but what chanced to them and the others I
do not know； who had rushed to the steering gear to set the ship upon
her course again； lest her fate should be that of the boat； or we
should go ashore and be captured by those who galloped on the bank； or
be drowned。 This was the last I ever saw or heard of the crew of the
/Blanche/。
The ship's bow came round and； driven by the ever…increasing gale； she
rushed on her course towards the sea； bearing us with her； two weak
and lonely men。
〃Kari；〃 I said； 〃what shall we do？ Try to run ashore； or sail on？〃
He thought awhile then answered； pointing to those who galloped； now
but tiny figures on the distant bank：
〃Master； yonder is death； sure death； and yonder；〃 here he pointed to
the sea； 〃is deathperhaps。 Master； you have a God； and I； Kari； have
another God； mayhap same God with different name。 I sayTrust our
Gods and sail on； for Gods better than men。 If we die in water； what
matter？ Water softer than rope； but I think not die。〃
I nodded； for the reasoning seemed good。 Rather would I be drowned
than fall into the hands of those who were galloping on the shore； to
be dragged back to London and a felon's doom。
So I pressed upon the tiller to bring the /Blanche/ more into mid…
channel； and headed for the sea。 Wider and wider grew the estuary and
farther and farther away the shores as the /Blanche/ scudded on
beneath her small sails with the weight of the gale behind her； till
at last there was the open sea。
Within a few feet of the tiller was a deck…house； in which the crew
ate； built of solid oak and clamped with iron。 Here was food in
plenty； ale； too； and with these we filled ourselves。 Also； leaving
Kari to hold the tiller； I took off my armour and in place of it
clothed myself in the rough sea garments that lay about with tall
greased boots； and then sent him to do likewise。
Soon we lost sight of land and were climbing the great ocean billows；
whose foamy crests rolled and spurted wherever the eye fell。 We could
set no course but must go where the gale drove us； away； away we knew
not whither。 As I have said； the /Blanche/ was new and strong and the
best ship that ever I had sailed in upon a heavy sea。 Moreover； her
hatches were closed down； for this the sailors had done after we
weighed； so she rode the waters like a duck； taking no harm。 Oh！ well
it was for me that from my childhood I had had to do with ships and
the sailing of them； and flying from the following waves thus was able
to steer and keep the /Blanche's/ poop right in the wind； which seemed
to blow first from one quarter and then from that。
Now over my memory of these events there comes a great confusion and
sense of amazement。 All became fragmentary and disjointed； separated
also by what seemed to be considerable periods of timedays or weeks
perhaps。 There was a sense of endless roaring seas before which the
ship fled on and on； driven by a screaming gale that I noted dimly
seemed to blow first from the northwest and then steadily from the
east。
I see myself； very distinctly； lashing the tiller to iron rings that
were screwed in the deck beams； and know that I did this because I was
too weak to hold it any longer and desired to set it so that the
/Blanche/ should continue to drive straight before the gale。 I see
myself lying in the deck…house of which I have spoken； while Kari fed
me with food and water and sometimes thrust into my mouth little
pellets of I knew not what； which he took from the leathern bag he
wore about him。 I remembered that bag。 It had been on his person when
I rescued him at the quay； for I had seen it first as he washed
himself afterwards； half full of something； and wondered what it
contained。 Later； I had seen it in his hand again when we left my
house after the death of Blanche。 I noted that whenever he gave me one
of these pellets I seemed to grow strong for a while； and then to fall
into sleep； deep and prolonged。
After more daysor weeks； I began to behold marvels and to hear
strange voices。 I thought that I was talking with my mother and with
my patron； St。 Hubert； also that Blanche came to me and explained
everything； showing how little she had been to blame for all that had
happened to me and her。 These things made me certain that I was dead
and I was glad to be dead； since now I knew there would be no more
pain or strivings； that the endeavours which make up life from hour to
hour had ceased and that rest was won。 Only then appeared my uncle；
John Grimmer； who kept quoting his favourite text at me〃Vanity of
vanities。 All is vanity；〃 he said； adding： 〃Did I not tell you that it
was thus years ago？ Now you have learned it for yourself。 Only； Nephew
Hubert； don't think that you have finished with vanities yet； as I
have； for I say that there are plenty more to come for you。〃
Thus he seemed to talk on about this and other matters； such as what
would happen to his wealth and whether the hospitals would be quick to
seize the lands to which he had given it the reversion； till I grew
quite tired of him and wished that he would go away。
Then at length there was a great crash that I think disturbed him； for
he did go； saying that it was only another 〃vanity；〃 after which I
seemed to fall asleep for weeks and weeks。
I woke up again for a warmth and brightness on my face caused me to
open my eyes。 I lifted my hand to shield them from the brightness and
noted with a kind of wonder that it was so thin that the light shone
through it as it does through parchment； and that the bones were
visible beneath the skin。 I let it fall from weakness； and it dropped
on to hair which I knew must be that of a beard； which set me
wondering； for it had been my fashion to go clean…shaven。 How； then；
did I come by a beard？ I looked about me and saw th