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of all of us； whatever the priests might teach and believe。 And where
was my mother whom I had loved and who loved me well； although
outwardly she was so stern a woman； my mother whom I had seen burned
alive； singing as she burned？ Oh！ it was a vile world； and it seemed
strange that God should cause men and women to be born that they might
come to such cruel ends。 Yet who were we to question His decrees of
which we knew neither the beginning nor the finish？
Anyway； I was glad I was not dead； for now that all was over I
trembled and felt afraid； which I had never done during the fighting；
even when my hour seemed very near。
Lastly there was this high…born lady； Blanche Aleys； with whom fortune
had thrown me so strangely that day。 Those blue eyes of hers had
pierced my heart like darts； and do what I would I might not rid my
mind of the thought of her； or my ears of the sound of her soft voice；
while her kisses seemed still to burn upon my lips。 It wrung me to
think that perhaps I should never see her again； or that if I did I
might not speak with her； being so far beneath her in condition； and
having already earned the wrath of her father； and； as I guessed； the
jealousy of that scented cousin of hers whom they said the King loved
like a brother。
What had my mother told me？ To leave this place and go to London；
there to find my uncle； John Grimmer； goldsmith and merchant； who was
my godfather； and to ask him to take me into his business。 I
remembered this uncle of mine； for some seven or eight years before；
when I was a growing lad； because there was a plague in London he had
come down to Hastings to visit us。 He only stayed a week； however；
because he said that the sea air tied up his stomach and that he would
rather risk the plague with a good stomach than leave it behind him
with a bad onethough I think it was his business he thought of； not
his stomach。
He was a strange old man； not unlike my mother； but with a nose more
hooked； small dark eyes； and a bald head on which he set a cap of
velvet。 Even in the heat of summer he was always cold and wore a
frayed fur robe； complaining much if he came into a draught of air。
Indeed he looked like a Jew； though a good Christian enough； and
laughed about it； because he said that this appearance of his served
him well in his trade； since Jews were always feared； and it was held
to be impossible to overreach them。
For the rest I only recalled that he examined me as to my book
learning which did not satisfy him； and went about valuing all our
goods and fishing…boats； showing my mother how we were being cheated
and might earn more than we did。 When he departed he gave me a gold
piece and said that Life was nothing but vanity； and that I must pray
for his soul when he was dead as he was sure it would need such help；
also that I ought to put the gold piece out to interest。 This I did by
buying with it a certain fierce mastiff dog I coveted that had been
brought on a ship from Norway； which dog bit some great man in our
town； who hauled my mother before the bailiff about it and caused the
poor beast to be killed； to my great wrath。
Now that I came to think of it； I had liked my Uncle John well enough
although he was so different from others。 Why should I not go to him？
Because I did not wish to sit in a shop in London； I who loved the sea
and the open air； also because I feared he might ask me what I had
done with that gold piece and make a mock of me about the dog。 Yet my
mother had bidden me go； and it was her last command to me； her dying
words which it would be unlucky to disobey。 Moreover； our boats and
house were burnt and I must work hard and long before these could be
replaced。 Lastly； in London I should see no more of the lady Blanche
Aleys； and there could learn to forget the lights in her blue eyes。 So
I determined that I would go； and at last fell asleep。
Next morning I made my confession to the old priest that； amongst
other matters； he might shrive me of the blood which I had shed；
though this he said needed no forgiveness from God or man； being； as I
think； a stout Englishman at heart。 Also I took counsel with him as to
what I should do； and he told me it was my duty to obey my mother's
wishes； since such last words were often inspired from on high and
declared the will of Heaven。 Further he pointed out that I should do
well to avoid the lady Blanche Aleys who was one far above me in
degree； the following of whom might bring me to trouble； or even to
death； moreover； that I might mend my broken fortunes through the help
of my uncle； a very rich man as he had heard； to whom he would write a
letter about me。
Thus this matter was settled。
Still some days went by before I left Hastings； since first I must
wait until the ashes of our house were cool enough to search in them
for my mother's body。 Those who found her at length said that she was
not so much burned as might have been expected； but as to this I am
uncertain； since I could not bring myself to look upon her who desired
to remember her as she had been in life。 She was buried by the side of
my father； who was drowned； in the churchyard of St。 Clement's； and
when all had gone away I wept a little on her grave。
The rest of that day I spent making ready for my journey。 As it
chanced when the house was burnt the outbuildings which lay on the
farther side of the yard behind escaped the fire； and in the stable
were two good horses； one a grey riding…gelding and the other a mare
that used to drag the nets to the quay and bring back the fish； which
horses； although frightened and alarmed； were unharmed。 Also there was
a quantity of stores； nets； salt； dried fish in barrels； and I know
not what besides。 The horses I kept； but all the rest of the gear；
together with the premises； the ground on which the house had stood；
and the other property I made over to William； my man； who promised me
to pay me their value when he could earn it in better times。
Next morning I rode away for London upon the grey horse； loading the
armour of the knight I had killed and such other possessions as
remained to me upon the mare which I led with a rope。 Save William
there was none to say me good…bye； for the misery in Hastings was so
great that all were concerned with their own affairs or in mourning
their dead。 I was not sorry that it fell out thus； since I was so full
of sadness at leaving the place where I was born and had lived all my
life； that I think I should have shed tears if any who had been my
friends had spoken kind words to me； which would have been unmanly。
Never had I felt so lonely as when from the high ground I gazed back
to the ruins of Hastings over which still hung a thin pall of smoke。
My courage seemed to fail me altogether； I looked forward to the
future with fear； believing that I had been born unlucky； that it held
no good for me who probably should end my days as a common soldier or
a fisherman； or mayhap in prison or on the gallows。 From childhood I
had suffered these fits of gloom； but as yet this was the blackest of
them that I had known。
At length； the sun that had been hidden shone out and with its coming
my temper changed。 I remembered that I who might so easily have been
dead； was sound； young； and healthy； that I had sword； bow； and armour
of the best； also twenty or more of gold pieces； for I had not counted
them； in the bag which my mother gave me with Wave…Flame。 Further； I
hoped that my uncle would befriend me； and if he did not； there were
plenty of captains engaged in the wars who might be glad of a squire；
one who could shoot against any man and handle a sword as well as
most。
So putting up a prayer to St。 Hubert after my simple fashion； I pushed
on blithely to the crest of a long rise and there came face to face
with a gay company who； hawk on wrist and hound at heel； were； I
guessed； on their way to hunt in the Pevensey marshes。 While they were
still a little way off I knew these to be no other than Sir Robert
Aleys； his daughter Blanche； and the King's favourite； young Lord
Deleroy； with their servants； and was minded to turn aside to avoid
them。 Then I remembered that I had as much right to the King's Highway
as they； and my pride aiding me； determined to ride on taking no note
of them； unless first they took note of me。 Also they knew me； for my
ears being very sharp； I heard Sir Robert say in his big voice：
〃Here comes that young fisherman again。 Pass him in silence；
Daughter〃； heard； too； Lord Deleroy drawl it； 〃It seems that he has
been gathering gear from the slain； and like a good chapman bears it
away for secret sale。〃
Only the lady Blanche answered neither the one nor the other； but rode
forward with her eyes fixed before her； pretending to talk to the hawk
upon her wrist； and now that she was rested and at ease； looking even
more beautiful than she had done on the day of the burning。
So we met and passed； I glancing at them idly and guiding my horses to
the side of the road。 When there were perhaps ten yards between us I
heard Lady Blanche cry：
〃Oh； my hawk！〃 I looked round to see that the falcon on her wrist had
in some way loosed itself； o