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much） than I could have asked them to present me with a piece of plate。
Here my great secret； the real bashfulness of my character； is to be
observed。 Like most bashful men； I judge of other people as if they were
bashful too。 Besides being far too shamefaced to make the proposal
myself； I really had a delicate misgiving that it would be in the last degree
disconcerting to them。
Trying to settle down； therefore； in my solitude； I first of all asked
what books there were in the house。 The waiter brought me a Book of
Roads； two or three old Newspapers； a little Song…Book； terminating in a
collection of Toasts and Sentiments； a little Jest… Book； an odd volume of
Peregrine Pickle； and the Sentimental Journey。 I knew every word of the
two last already； but I read them through again； then tried to hum all the
songs （Auld Lang Syne was among them）； went entirely through the
jokes；in which I found a fund of melancholy adapted to my state of mind；
proposed all the toasts； enunciated all the sentiments； and mastered the
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papers。 The latter had nothing in them but stock advertisements； a
meeting about a county rate； and a highway robbery。 As I am a greedy
reader； I could not make this supply hold out until night； it was exhausted
by tea…time。 Being then entirely cast upon my own resources； I got
through an hour in considering what to do next。 Ultimately； it came into
my head （from which I was anxious by any means to exclude Angela and
Edwin）； that I would endeavour to recall my experience of Inns； and
would try how long it lasted me。 I stirred the fire； moved my chair a little
to one side of the screen；not daring to go far； for I knew the wind was
waiting to make a rush at me； I could hear it growling；and began。
My first impressions of an Inn dated from the Nursery； consequently I
went back to the Nursery for a starting…point； and found myself at the knee
of a sallow woman with a fishy eye； an aquiline nose； and a green gown；
whose specially was a dismal narrative of a landlord by the roadside；
whose visitors unaccountably disappeared for many years； until it was
discovered that the pursuit of his life had been to convert them into pies。
For the better devotion of himself to this branch of industry； he had
constructed a secret door behind the head of the bed； and when the visitor
（oppressed with pie） had fallen asleep； this wicked landlord would look
softly in with a lamp in one hand and a knife in the other； would cut his
throat； and would make him into pies； for which purpose he had coppers；
underneath a trap…door； always boiling； and rolled out his pastry in the
dead of the night。 Yet even he was not insensible to the stings of
conscience； for he never went to sleep without being heard to mutter； 〃Too
much pepper！〃 which was eventually the cause of his being brought to
justice。 I had no sooner disposed of this criminal than there started up
another of the same period； whose profession was originally house…
breaking； in the pursuit of which art he had had his right ear chopped off
one night； as he was burglariously getting in at a window； by a brave and
lovely servant…maid （whom the aquiline…nosed woman； though not at all
answering the description； always mysteriously implied to be herself）。
After several years； this brave and lovely servant…maid was married to the
landlord of a country Inn； which landlord had this remarkable
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characteristic； that he always wore a silk nightcap； and never would on any
consideration take it off。 At last； one night； when he was fast asleep； the
brave and lovely woman lifted up his silk nightcap on the right side； and
found that he had no ear there； upon which she sagaciously perceived that
he was the clipped housebreaker； who had married her with the intention
of putting her to death。 She immediately heated the poker and terminated
his career； for which she was taken to King George upon his throne； and
received the compliments of royalty on her great discretion and valour。
This same narrator； who had a Ghoulish pleasure； I have long been
persuaded； in terrifying me to the utmost confines of my reason； had
another authentic anecdote within her own experience； founded； I now
believe； upon Raymond and Agnes； or the Bleeding Nun。 She said it
happened to her brother…in…law； who was immensely rich；which my
father was not； and immensely tall；which my father was not。 It was
always a point with this Ghoul to present my clearest relations and friends
to my youthful mind under circumstances of disparaging contrast。 The
brother…in…law was riding once through a forest on a magnificent horse
（we had no magnificent horse at our house）； attended by a favourite and
valuable Newfoundland dog （we had no dog）； when he found himself
benighted； and came to an Inn。 A dark woman opened the door； and he
asked her if he could have a bed there。 She answered yes； and put his
horse in the stable； and took him into a room where there were two dark
men。 While he was at supper； a parrot in the room began to talk； saying；
〃Blood； blood！ Wipe up the blood！〃 Upon which one of the dark men
wrung the parrot's neck； and said he was fond of roasted parrots； and he
meant to have this one for breakfast in the morning。 After eating and
drinking heartily； the immensely rich； tall brother…in…law went up to bed；
but he was rather vexed； because they had shut his dog in the stable；
saying that they never allowed dogs in the house。 He sat very quiet for
more than an hour； thinking and thinking； when； just as his candle was
burning out； he heard a scratch at the door。 He opened the door； and
there was the Newfoundland dog！ The dog came softly in； smelt about
him； went straight to some straw in the corner which the dark men had
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said covered apples； tore the straw away； and disclosed two sheets steeped
in blood。 Just at that moment the candle went out； and the brother…in…law；
looking through a chink in the door； saw the two dark men stealing up…
stairs； one armed with a dagger that long （about five feet）； the other
carrying a chopper； a sack； and a spade。 Having no remembrance of the
close of this adventure； I suppose my faculties to have been always so
frozen with terror at this stage of it； that the power of listening stagnated
within me for some quarter of an hour。
These barbarous stories carried me； sitting there on the Holly…Tree
hearth； to the Roadside Inn； renowned in my time in a sixpenny book with
a folding plate； representing in a central compartment of oval form the
portrait of Jonathan Bradford； and in four corner compartments four
incidents of the tragedy with which the name is associated；coloured with
a hand at once so free and economical； that the bloom of Jonathan's
complexion passed without any pause into the breeches of the ostler； and；
smearing itself off into the next division； became rum in a bottle。 Then I
remembered how the landlord was found at the murdered traveller's
bedside； with his own knife at his feet； and blood upon his hand； how he
was hanged for the murder； notwithstanding his protestation that he had
indeed come there to kill the traveller for his saddle…bags； but had been
stricken motionless on finding him already slain； and how the ostler； years
afterwards；