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I did not relish this statement。
〃She's fine； I admit。 But I can't see how under the circumstances any of
us could have acted differently。〃 And Nancy not replying； I continued：
〃She has made up her mind to go；I suppose I could prevent it by taking
extreme measures；but what good would it do？ Isn't it； after all； the
most sensible； the only way out of a situation that has become
impossible？ Times have changed； Nancy； and you yourself have been the
first to admit it。 Marriage is no longer what it was； and people are
coming to look upon it more sensibly。 In order to perpetuate the
institution； as it was； segregation； insulation； was the only course。
Men segregated their wives； women their husbands；the only logical
method of procedure； but it limited the individual。 Our mothers and
fathers thought it scandalous if husband or wife paid visits alone。 It
wasn't done。 But our modern life has changed all that。 A marriage； to
be a marriage； should be proof against disturbing influences； should
leave the individuals free； the binding element should be love； not the
force of an imposed authority。 You seemed to agree to all this。〃
〃Yes； I know；〃 she admitted。 〃But I cannot think that happiness will
ever grow out of unhappiness。〃
〃But Maude will not be unhappy；〃 I insisted。 〃She will be happier； far
happier； now that she has taken the step。〃
〃Oh； I wish I thought so；〃 Nancy exclaimed。 〃Hugh； you always believe
what you want to believe。 And the children。 How can you bear to part
with them？〃
I was torn； I had a miserable sense of inadequacy。
〃I shall miss them；〃 I said。 〃I have never really appreciated them。 I
admit I don't deserve to have them； and I am willing to give them up for
you； for Maude。。。〃
We had made one of our favourite drives among the hills on the far side
of the Ashuela； and at six were back at Nancy's house。 I did not go in；
but walked slowly homeward up Grant Avenue。 It had been a trying
afternoon。 I had not expected； indeed； that Nancy would have rejoiced；
but her attitude； her silences； betraying； as they did； compunctions；
seemed to threaten our future happiness。
XXII。
One evening two or three days later I returned from the office to gaze up
at my house； to realize suddenly that it would be impossible for me to
live there； in those great； empty rooms； alone； and I told Maude that I
would go to the Clubduring her absence。 I preferred to keep up the
fiction that her trip would only be temporary。 She forbore from
contradicting me； devoting herself efficiently to the task of closing the
house； making it seem； somehow； a rite；the final rite in her capacity
as housewife。 The drawing…room was shrouded； and the library； the books
wrapped neatly in paper； a smell of camphor pervaded the place； the
cheerful schoolroom was dismantled； trunks and travelling bags appeared。
The solemn butler packed my clothes； and I arranged for a room at the
Club in the wing that recently had been added for the accommodation of
bachelors and deserted husbands。 One of the ironies of those days was
that the children began to suggest again possibilities of happiness I had
missedespecially Matthew。 With all his gentleness； the boy seemed to
have a precocious understanding of the verities； and the capacity for
suffering which as a child I had possessed。 But he had more self…
control。 Though he looked forward to the prospect of new scenes and
experiences with the anticipation natural to his temperament； I thought
he betrayed at moments a certain intuition as to what was going on。
〃When are you coming over； father？〃 he asked once。 〃How soon will your
business let you？〃
He had been brought up in the belief that my business was a tyrant。
〃Oh； soon； Matthew；sometime soon；〃 I said。
I had a feeling that he understood me； not intellectually； but
emotionally。 What a companion he might have been！。。。。 Moreton and Biddy
moved me less。 They were more robust； more normal； less introspective
and imaginative； Europe meant nothing to them； but they were frankly
delighted and excited at the prospect of going on the ocean； asking
dozens of questions about the great ship； impatient to embark。。。。。
〃I shan't need all that； Hugh；〃 Maude said； when I handed her a letter of
credit。 〃II intend to live quite simply； and my chief expenses will be
the children's education。 I am going to give them the best； of course。〃
〃Of course；〃 I replied。 〃But I want you to live over there as you have
been accustomed to live here。 It's not exactly generosity on my part；I
have enough； and more than enough。〃
She took the letter。
〃Another thingI'd rather you didn't go to New York with us； Hugh。 I
know you are busy〃
〃Of course I'm going；〃 I started to protest。
〃No；〃 she went on； firmly。 〃I'd rather you didn't。 The hotel people
will put me on the steamer very comfortably；and there are other reasons
why I do not wish it。〃 I did not insist。。。。 On the afternoon of her
departure； when I came uptown； I found her pinning some roses on her
jacket。
〃Perry and Lucia sent them；〃 she informed me。 She maintained the
friendly； impersonal manner to the very end； but my soul； as we drove to
the train； was full of un…probed wounds。 I had had roses put in her
compartments in the car； Tom and Susan Peters were there with more roses；
and little presents for the children。 Their cheerfulness seemed forced；
and I wondered whether they suspected that Maude's absence would be
prolonged。
〃Write us often； and tell us all about it； dear；〃 said Susan； as she sat
beside Maude and held her hand； Tom had Biddy on his knee。 Maude was
pale； but smiling and composed。
〃I hope to get a little villa in France； near the sea；〃 she said。 〃I'll
send you a photograph of it； Susan。〃
〃And Chickabiddy； when she comes back； will be rattling off French like a
native；〃 exclaimed Tom； giving her a hug。
〃I hate French；〃 said Biddy； and she looked at him solemnly。 〃I wish you
were coming along； Uncle Tom。〃
Bells resounded through the great station。 The porter warned us off。 I
kissed the children one by one； scarcely realizing what I was doing。 I
kissed Maude。 She received my embrace passively。
〃Good…bye； Hugh；〃 she said。
I alighted； and stood on the platform as the train pulled out。 The
children crowded to the windows； but Maude did not appear。。。。 I found
myself walking with Tom and Susan past hurrying travellers and porters to
the Decatur Street entrance； where my automobile stood waiting。
〃I'll take you home； Susan；〃 I said。
〃We're ever so much obliged； Hugh；〃 she answered； 〃but the street…cars go
almost to ferry's door。 We're dining there。〃
Her eyes were filled with tears； and she seemed taller； more ungainly
than everolder。 A sudden impression of her greatness of heart was
borne home to me； and I grasped the value of such rugged friendship as
hersas Tom's。
〃We shouldn't know how to behave in an automobile；〃 he said； as though to
soften her refusal。 And I stood watching their receding figures as they
walked out into the street and hailed the huge electric car that came to
a stop beyond them。 Above its windows was painted 〃The Ashuela Traction
Company；〃 a label reminiscent of my professional activities。 Then I
heard the chauffeur ask：
〃Where do you wish to go； sir？〃
〃To the Club；〃 I said。
My room was ready； my personal belongings； my clothes had been laid out；
my photographs were on the dressing…table。 I took up； mechanically； the
evening newspaper； but I could not read it； I thought of Maude； of the
children； memories flowed in upon me；a flood not to be dammed。。。。
Presently the club valet knocked at my door。 He had a dinner card。
〃Will you be dining here； sir？〃 he inquired。
I went downstairs。 Fred Grierson was the only man in the dining…room。
〃Hello； Hugh；〃 he said； 〃come and sit down。 I hear your wife's gone
abroad。〃
〃Yes；〃 I answered； 〃she thought she'd try it instead of the South Shore
this summer。〃
Perhaps I imagined that he looked at me queerly。 I had made a great deal
of money out of my association with Grierson； I had valued very highly
being an important member of the group to which he belonged； but to…
night； as I watched him eating and drinking greedily； I hated him even as
I hated myself。 And after dinner； when he started talking with a
ridicule that was a thinly disguised bitterness about the Citizens Union
and their preparations for a campaign I left him and went to bed。
Before a week had passed my painful emotions had largely subsided； and
with my accustomed resiliency I had regained the feeling of self…respect
so essential to my happiness。 I was free。 My only anxiety was for
Nancy； who had gone to New York the day after my last talk with her； and
it was only by telephoning to her house that I discovered when she was
expected to return。。。。 I found her sitting beside one of the open French
windows of her salon； gazing across at the wooded hills beyond the
Ashuela。 She was serious； a little pale； more exquisite； more desirable
than ever； but her manner implied the pressure of control； and her voice
was not quite steady as she greeted me。
〃You've been a