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A Far Country
By Winston Churchill
I。
My name is Hugh Paret。 I was a corporation lawyer； but by no means a
typical one； the choice of my profession being merely incidental； and
due； as will be seen； to the accident of environment。 The book I am
about to write might aptly be called The Autobiography of a Romanticist。
In that sense； if in no other； I have been a typical American； regarding
my country as the happy hunting…ground of enlightened self…interest； as a
function of my desires。 Whether or not I have completely got rid of this
romantic virus I must leave to those the aim of whose existence is to
eradicate it from our literature and our life。 A somewhat Augean task！
I have been impelled therefore to make an attempt at setting forth； with
what frankness and sincerity I may； with those powers of selection of
which I am capable； the life I have lived in this modern America； the
passions I have known； the evils I have done。 I endeavour to write a
biography of the inner life； but in order to do this I shall have to
relate those causal experiences of the outer existence that take place in
the world of space and time； in the four walls of the home； in the school
and university； in the noisy streets； in the realm of business and
politics。 I shall try to set down； impartially； the motives that have
impelled my actions； to reveal in some degree the amazing mixture of good
and evil which has made me what I am to…day： to avoid the tricks of
memory and resist the inherent desire to present myself other and better
than I am。 Your American romanticist is a sentimental spoiled child who
believes in miracles； whose needs are mostly baubles； whose desires are
dreams。 Expediency is his motto。 Innocent of a knowledge of the
principles of the universe； he lives in a state of ceaseless activity；
admitting no limitations； impatient of all restrictions。 What he wants；
he wants very badly indeed。 This wanting things was the corner…stone of
my character； and I believe that the science of the future will bear me
out when I say that it might have been differently built upon。 Certain
it is that the system of education in vogue in the 70's and 80's never
contemplated the search for natural corner…stones。
At all events； when I look back upon the boy I was； I see the beginnings
of a real person who fades little by little as manhood arrives and
advances； until suddenly I am aware that a stranger has taken his
place。。。。
I lived in a city which is now some twelve hours distant from the
Atlantic seaboard。 A very different city； too； it was in youth； in my
grandfather's day and my father's； even in my own boyhood； from what it
has since become in this most material of ages。
There is a book of my photographs； preserved by my mother； which I have
been looking over lately。 First is presented a plump child of two；
gazing in smiling trustfulness upon a world of sunshine； later on a lean
boy in plaided kilts； whose wavy； chestnut…brown hair has been most
carefully parted on the side by Norah； his nurse。 The face is still
childish。 Then appears a youth of fourteen or thereabout in long
trousers and the queerest of short jackets； standing beside a marble
table against a classic background； he is smiling still in undiminished
hope and trust； despite increasing vexations and crossings； meaningless
lessons which had to be learned； disciplines to rack an aspiring soul；
and long； uncomfortable hours in the stiff pew of the First Presbyterian
Church。 Associated with this torture is a peculiar Sunday smell and the
faint rustling of silk dresses。 I can see the stern black figure of Dr。
Pound； who made interminable statements to the Lord。
〃Oh； Lord；〃 I can hear him say； 〃thou knowest。。。〃
These pictures； though yellowed and faded； suggest vividly the being I
once was； the feelings that possessed and animated me； love for my
playmates； vague impulses struggling for expression in a world forever
thwarting them。 I recall； too； innocent dreams of a future unidentified；
dreams from which I emerged vibrating with an energy that was lost for
lack of a definite objective： yet it was constantly being renewed。 I
often wonder what I might have become if it could have been harnessed；
directed！ Speculations are vain。 Calvinism； though it had begun to make
compromises； was still a force in those days； inimical to spontaneity and
human instincts。 And when I think of Calvinism I see； not Dr。 Pound； who
preached it； but my father； who practised and embodied it。 I loved him；
but he made of righteousness a stern and terrible thing implying not joy；
but punishment； the； suppression rather than the expansion of
aspirations。 His religion seemed woven all of austerity； contained no
shining threads to catch my eye。 Dreams； to him； were matters for
suspicion and distrust。
I sometimes ask myself； as I gaze upon his portrait now； the duplicate of
the one painted for the Bar Association； whether he ever could have felt
the secret； hot thrills I knew and did not identify with religion。 His
religion was real to him； though he failed utterly to make it
comprehensible to me。 The apparent calmness； evenness of his life awed
me。 A successful lawyer； a respected and trusted citizen； was he lacking
somewhat in virility； vitality？ I cannot judge him； even to…day。 I
never knew him。 There were times in my youth when the curtain of his
unfamiliar spirit was withdrawn a little： and once； after I had passed
the crisis of some childhood disease； I awoke to find him bending over my
bed with a tender expression that surprised and puzzled me。
He was well educated； and from his portrait a shrewd observer might
divine in him a genteel taste for literature。 The fine features bear
witness to the influence of an American environment； yet suggest the
intellectual Englishman of Matthew Arnold's time。 The face is
distinguished； ascetic； the chestnut hair lighter and thinner than my
own； the side whiskers are not too obtrusive； the eyes blue…grey。 There
is a large black cravat crossed and held by a cameo pin； and the coat has
odd； narrow lapels。 His habits of mind were English； although he
harmonized well enough with the manners and traditions of a city whose
inheritance was Scotch…Irish； and he invariably drank tea for breakfast。
One of my earliest recollections is of the silver breakfast service and
egg…cups which my great…grandfather brought with him from Sheffield to
Philadelphia shortly after the Revolution。 His son； Dr。 Hugh Moreton
Paret； after whom I was named； was the best known physician of the city
in the decorous； Second Bank days。
My mother was Sarah Breck。 Hers was my Scotch…Irish side。 Old Benjamin
Breck； her grandfather； undaunted by sea or wilderness； had come straight
from Belfast to the little log settlement by the great river that
mirrored then the mantle of primeval forest on the hills。 So much for
chance。 He kept a store with a side porch and square…paned windows；
where hams and sides of bacon and sugar loaves in blue glazed paper hung
beside ploughs and calico prints； barrels of flour； of molasses and rum；
all of which had been somehow marvellously transported over the passes of
those forbidding mountains；passes we blithely thread to…day in dining
cars and compartment sleepers。 Behind the store were moored the barges
that floated down on the swift current to the Ohio； carrying goods to
even remoter settlements in the western wilderness。
Benjamin； in addition to his emigrant's leather box； brought with him
some of that pigment that was to dye the locality for generations a deep
blue。 I refer； of course； to his Presbyterianism。 And in order the
better to ensure to his progeny the fastness of this dye； he married the
granddaughter of a famous divine； celebrated in the annals of New
England；no doubt with some injustice；as a staunch advocate on the
doctrine of infant damnation。 My cousin Robert Breck had old Benjamin's
portrait； which has since gone to the Kinley's。 Heaven knows who painted
it； though no great art were needed to suggest on canvas the tough fabric
of that sitter； who was more Irish than Scotch。 The heavy stick he holds
might； with a slight stretch of the imagination； be a blackthorn； his
head looks capable of withstanding many blows； his hand of giving many。
And； as I gazed the other day at this picture hanging in the shabby
suburban parlour； I could only contrast him with his anaemic descendants
who possessed the likeness。 Between the children of poor Mary Kinley；
Cousin Robert's daughter； and the hardy stock of the old country there is
a gap indeed！
Benjamin Breck made the foundation of a fortune。 It was his son who
built on the Second Bank the wide； corniced mansion in which to house
comfortably his eight children。 There； two tiers above the river； lived
my paternal grandfather； Dr。 Paret； the Breck's physician and friend； the
Durretts and the Hambletons； iron…masters； the Hollisters； Sherwins； the
McAlerys and Ewanses；Breck connections；the Willetts and Ogilvys； in
short； everyone of importance in the days between the 'thirties and the
Civil War。 Theirs were generous houses