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〃He says he meant to take her〃
〃Do you believe that？〃
Before I could answer； I saw Pasiance standing at the window。 How
long she had been there I don't know。
〃Is it true that he is going to leave me behind？〃 she cried out。
I could only nod。
〃Did you hear him your own self？〃
〃Yes。〃
She stamped her foot。
〃But he promised！ He promised！〃
John Ford went towards her。
〃Don't touch me； grandfather！ I hate every one！ Let him do what he
likes； I don't care。〃
John Ford's face turned quite grey。
〃Pasiance；〃 he said； 〃did you want to leave me so much？〃
She looked straight at us； and said sharply：
〃What's the good of telling stories。 I can't help its hurting you。〃
〃What did you think you would find away from here？〃
She laughed。
〃Find？ I don't knownothing； I wouldn't be stifled anyway。 Now I
suppose you'll shut me up because I'm a weak girl； not strong like
men！〃
〃Silence！〃 said John Ford； 〃I will make him take you。〃
〃You shan't！〃 she cried； 〃I won't let you。 He's free to do as he
likes。 He's freeI tell you all； everybodyfree！〃
She ran through the window； and vanished。
John Ford made a movement as if the bottom had dropped out of his
world。 I left him there。
I went to the kitchen； where Hopgood was sitting at the table； eating
bread and cheese。 He got up on seeing me； and very kindly brought me
some cold bacon and a pint of ale。
〃I thart I shude be seeing yu； zurr；〃 he said between his bites；
〃Therr's no thart to 'atin' 'bout the 'ouse to…day。 The old wumman's
puzzivantin' over Miss Pasiance。 Young girls are skeery critters〃
he brushed his sleeve over his broad； hard jaws； and filled a pipe
〃specially when it's in the blood of 'em。 Squire Rick Voisey werr a
dandy； an' Mistress Voiseywell； she werr a nice lady tu； but〃
rolling the stem of his pipe from corner to corner of his mouth〃she
werr a pra…aper vixen。〃
Hopgood's a good fellow； and I believe as soft as he looks hard； but
he's not quite the sort with whom one chooses to talk over a matter
like this。 I went upstairs； and began to pack； but after a bit
dropped it for a book； and somehow or other fell asleep。
I woke； and looked at my watch； it was five o'clock。 I had been
asleep four hours。 A single sunbeam was slanting across from one of
my windows to the other； and there was the cool sound of milk
dropping into pails； then； all at once； a stir as of alarm； and heavy
footsteps。
I opened my door。 Hopgood and a coast…guardsman were carrying
Pasiance slowly up the stairs。 She lay in their arms without moving；
her face whiter than her dress； a scratch across the forehead； and
two or three drops there of dried blood。 Her hands were clasped； and
she slowly crooked and stiffened out her fingers。 When they turned
with her at the stair top； she opened her lips； and gasped； 〃All
right； don't put me down。 I can bear it。〃 They passed； and； with a
half…smile in her eyes； she said something to me that I couldn't
catch； the door was shut； and the excited whispering began again
below。 I waited for the men to come out； and caught hold of Hopgood。
He wiped the sweat off his forehead。
〃Poor young thing！〃 he said。 〃She felldown the cliffs'tis her
backcoastguard saw her 'twerr they fetched her in。 The Lord 'elp
her mebbe she's not broken up much！ An' Mister Ford don't know！ I'm
gwine for the doctor。〃
There was an hour or more to wait before he came； a young fellow；
almost a boy。 He looked very grave； when he came out of her room。
〃The old woman there fond of her？ nurse her well。。。？ Fond as a
dog！good！ Don't knowcan't tell for certain！ Afraid it's the
spine； must have another opinion！ What a plucky girl！ Tell Mr。 Ford
to have the best man he can get in Torquaythere's C…。 I'll be
round the first thing in the morning。 Keep her dead quiet。 I've
left a sleeping draught； she'll have fever tonight。〃
John Ford came in at last。 Poor old man！ What it must have cost him
not to go to her for fear of the excitement！ How many times in the
next few hours didn't I hear him come to the bottom of the stairs；
his heavy wheezing； and sighing； and the forlorn tread of his feet
going back！ About eleven； just as I was going to bed； Mrs。 Hopgood
came to my door。
〃Will yu come； sir；〃 she said； 〃she's asking for yu。 Naowt I can zay
but what she will see yu； zeems crazy； don't it？〃 A tear trickled
down the old lady's cheek。 〃Du 'ee come； 'twill du 'err 'arm mebbe；
but I dunnoshe'll fret else。〃
I slipped into the room。 Lying back on her pillows； she was
breathing quickly with half…closed eyes。 There was nothing to show
that she had wanted me； or even knew that I was there。 The wick of
the candle； set by the bedside； had been snuffed too short； and gave
but a faint light； both window and door stood open； still there was
no draught； and the feeble little flame burned quite still； casting a
faint yellow stain on the ceiling like the refection from a buttercup
held beneath a chin。 These ceilings are far too low！ Across the
wide； squat window the apple branches fell in black stripes which
never stirred。 It was too dark to see things clearly。 At the foot
of the bed was a chest； and there Mrs。 Hopgood had sat down； moving
her lips as if in speech。 Mingled with the half…musty smell of age；
there were other scents； of mignonette； apples； and some sweet…
smelling soap。 The floor had no carpet； and there was not one single
dark object except the violin； hanging from a nail over the bed。 A
little； round clock ticked solemnly。
〃Why won't you give me that stuff； Mums？〃 Pasiance said in a faint；
sharp voice。 〃I want to sleep。〃
〃Have you much pain？〃 I asked。
〃Of course I have； it's everywhere。〃
She turned her face towards me。
〃You thought I did it on purpose； but you're wrong。 If I had； I'd
have done it better than this。 I wouldn't have this brutal pain。〃
She put her fingers over her eyes。 〃It's horrible to complain！ Only
it's so bad！ But I won't againpromise。
She took the sleeping draught gratefully； making a face； like a child
after a powder。
〃How long do you think it'll be before I can play again？ Oh！ I
forgotthere are other things to think about。〃 She held out her
hand to me。 〃Look at my ring。 Marriedisn't it funny？ Ha； ha！
Nobody will ever understandthat's funny too！ Poor Gran！ You see；
there wasn't any reasononly me。 That's the only reason I'm telling
you now； Mums is therebut she doesn't count； why don't you count；
Mums？〃
The fever was fighting against the draught； she had tossed the
clothes back from her throat； and now and then raised one thin arm a
little； as if it eased her； her eyes had grown large； and innocent
like a child's； the candle； too； had flared； and was burning clearly。
〃Nobody is to tell himnobody at all； promise。。。！ If I hadn't
slipped； it would have been different。 What would have happened
then？ You can't tell； and I can'tthat's funny！ Do you think I
loved him？ Nobody marries without love； do they？ Not quite without
love； I mean。 But you see I wanted to be free； he said he'd take me；
and now he's left me after all！ I won't be left； I can't！ When I
came to the cliffthat bit where the ivy grows right downthere was
just the sea there； underneath； so I thought I would throw myself
over and it would be all quiet； and I climbed on a ledge； it looked
easier from there； but it was so high； I wanted to get back； and then
my foot slipped； and now it's all pain。 You can't think much； when
you're in pain。〃
》From her eyes I saw that she was dropping off。
〃Nobody can take you away from…yourself。 He's not to be toldnot
evenI don'twant youto go away； because〃But her eyes closed；
and she dropped off to sleep。
They don't seem to know this morning whether she is better or
worse。。。。
VI
〃Tuesday； 9th August。
It seems more like three weeks than three days since I wrote。 The
time passes slowly in a sickhouse。。。！ The doctors were here this
morning； they give her forty hours。 Not a word of complaint has
passed her lips since she knew。 To see her you would hardly think
her ill； her cheeks have not had time to waste or lose their colour。
There is not much pain； but a slow； creeping numbness。。。。 It was
John Ford's wish that she should be told。 She just turned her head
to the wall and sighed； then to poor old Mrs。 Hopgood； who was crying
her heart out： 〃Don't cry； Mums； I don't care。〃
When they had gone； she asked for her violin。 She made them hold it
for her； and drew the bow across the strings； but the notes that came
out were so trembling and uncertain that she dropped the bow and
broke into a passion of sobbing。 Since then； no complaint or moan of
any kind。。。。
But to go back。 On Sunday； the day after I wrote； as I was