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you a power of good！ You're not looking the thing； my dear。〃
His voice died wistfully； and his glance； sweeping her face； rested
on her hands； which held and twisted Greta's letter。 After a minute
or two of silence he boomed out again with sudden energy：
〃Your aunt'll want to come and sit with me； after dinner； don't let
her； Chris； I can't stand it。 Tell her I'm asleepthe doctor'll be
here directly； ask him to make up some humbug for youit's his
business。〃
He was seized by a violent fit of pain which seemed to stab his
breath away； and when it was over signed that he would be left alone。
Christian went back to her letter in the other room； and had written
these words； when the gong summoned her to dinner：
'I'm like a leaf in the wind； I put out my hand to one thing； and
it's seized and twisted and flung aside。 I want youI want you； if
I could see you I think I should know what to do〃
XXII
The rain drove with increasing fury。 The night was very black。
Nicholas Treffry slept heavily。 By the side of his bed the night…
lamp cast on to the opposite wall a bright disc festooned by the
hanging shadow of the ceiling。 Christian was leaning over him。 For
the moment he filled all her heart； lying there； so helpless。 Fearful
of waking him she slipped into the sitting…room。 Outside the window
stood a man with his face pressed to the pane。 Her heart thumped；
she went up and unlatched the window。 It was Harz； with the rain
dripping off him。 He let fall his hat and cape。
〃You！〃 she said； touching his sleeve。 〃You！ You！〃
He was sodden with wet； his face drawn and tired； a dark growth of
beard covered his cheeks and chin。
〃Where is your uncle？〃 he said； 〃I want to see him。〃
She put her hand up to his lips； but he caught it and covered it with
kisses。
〃He's asleepillspeak gently！〃
〃I came to him first；〃 he muttered。
Christian lit the lamp； and he looked at her hungrily without a word。
〃It's not possible to go on like this； I came to tell your uncle so。
He is a man。 As for the other； I want to have nothing to do with
him！ I came back on foot across the mountains。 It's not possible to
go on like this； Christian。〃
She handed him her letter。 He held it to the light； clearing his
brow of raindrops。 When he had read to the last word he gave it her
back； and whispered： 〃Come！〃
Her lips moved； but she did not speak。
〃While this goes on I can't work； I can do nothing。 I can'tI won't
bargain with my work； if it's to be that； we had better end it。 What
are we waiting for？ Sooner or later we must come to this。 I'm sorry
that he's ill； God knows！ But that changes nothing。 To wait is
tying me hand and footit's making me afraid！ Fear kills！ It will
kill you！ It kills work； and I must work； I can't waste timeI
won't！ I will sooner give you up。〃 He put his hands on her
shoulders。 〃I love you！ I want you！ Look in my eyes and see if you
dare hold back！〃
Christian stood with the grip of his strong hands on her shoulders；
without a movement or sign。 Her face was very white。 And suddenly
he began to kiss that pale； still face； to kiss its eyes and lips； to
kiss it from its chin up to its hair； and it stayed pale； as a white
flower； beneath those kissesas a white flower； whose stalk the
fingers bend back a little。
There was a sound of knocking on the wall； Mr。 Treffry called feebly。
Christian broke away from Harz。
〃To…morrow！〃 he whispered； and picking up his hat and cloak； went out
again into the rain。
XXIII
It was not till morning that Christian fell into a troubled sleep。
She dreamed that a voice was calling her； and she was filled with a
helpless； dumb dream terror。
When she woke the light was streaming in； it was Sunday； and the
cathedral bells were chiming。 Her first thought was of Harz。 One
step； one moment of courage！ Why had she not told her uncle？ If he
had only asked！ But whywhy should she tell him？ When it was over
and she was gone； he would see that all was for the best。
Her eyes fell on Greta's empty bed。 She sprang up； and bending over；
kissed the pillow。 'She will mind at first； but she's so young！
Nobody will really miss me； except Uncle Nic！' She stood along while
in the window without moving。 When she was dressed she called out to
her maid：
〃Bring me some milk； Barbi； I'm going to church。〃
〃Ach！ gnadiges Frdulein； will you no breakfast have？〃
〃No thank you； Barbi。〃
〃Liebes Fraulein； what a beautiful morning after the rain it has
become！ How cool！ It is for you goodfor the colour in your
cheeks； now they will bloom again！〃 and Barbi stroked her own well…
coloured cheeks。
Dominique； sunning himself outside with a cloth across his arm； bowed
as she passed； and smiled affectionately：
〃He is better this morning； M'mselle。 We marchwe are getting on。
Good news will put the heart into you。〃
Christian thought： 'How sweet every one is to…day！'
Even the Villa seemed to greet her； with the sun aslant on it； and
the trees； trembling and weeping golden tears。 At the cathedral she
was early for the service； but here and there were figures on their
knees； the faint； sickly odour of long…burnt incense clung in the
air； a priest moved silently at the far end。 She knelt； and when at
last she rose the service had begun。 With the sound of the intoning
a sense of peace came to herthe peace of resolution。 For good or
bad she felt that she had faced her fate。
She went out with a look of quiet serenity and walked home along the
dyke。 Close to Harz's studio she sat down。 Nowit was her own； all
that had belonged to him； that had ever had a part in him。
An old beggar； who had been watching her； came gently from behind。
〃Gracious lady！〃 he said； peering at her eyes； 〃this is the lucky day
for you。 I have lost my luck。〃
Christian opened her purse； there was only one coin in it； a gold
piece； the beggar's eyes sparkled。
She thought suddenly： 'It's no longer mine； I must begin to be
careful；' but she felt ashamed when she looked at the old man。
〃I am sorry；〃 she said； 〃yesterday I would have given you this； but
but now it's already given。〃
He seemed so old and poorwhat could she give him？ She unhooked a
little silver brooch at her throat。 〃You will get something for
that；〃 she said； 〃it's better than nothing。 I am very sorry you are
so old and poor。〃
The beggar crossed himself。 〃Gracious lady；〃 he muttered； 〃may you
never want！〃
Christian hurried on； the rustling of leaves soon carried the words
away。 She did not feel inclined to go in； and crossing the bridge
began to climb the hill。 There was a gentle breeze； drifting the
clouds across the sun； lizards darted out over the walls； looked at
her； and whisked away。
The sunshine； dappling through the tops of trees； gashed down on a
torrent。 The earth smelt sweet； the vineyards round the white farms
glistened； everything seemed to leap and dance with sap and life； it
was a moment of Spring in midsummer。 Christian walked on； wondering
at her own happiness。
'Am I heartless？' she thought。 'I am going to leave himI am going
into life； I shall have to fight now； there'll be no looking back。'
The path broke away and wound down to the level of the torrent； on
the other side it rose again； and was lost among trees。 The woods
were dank； she hastened home。
In her room she began to pack； sorting and tearing up old letters。
'Only one thing matters；' she thought； 'singleness of heart； to see
your way； and keep to it with all your might。'
She looked up and saw Barbi standing before her with towels in her
hands； and a scared face。
〃Are you going a journey； gnadiges Fraulein？〃
〃I am going away to be married； Barbi；〃 said Christian at last；
〃don't speak of it to any one； please。〃
Barbi leant a little forward with the towels clasped to the blue
cotton bosom of her dress。
〃No； no！ I will not speak。 But； dear Fraulein； that is a big
matter； have you well thought？〃
〃Thought； Barbi？ Have I not！〃
〃But； dear FrauIein； will you be rich？〃
〃No！ I shall be as poor as you。〃
〃Ach！ dear God！ that is terrible。 Katrina； my sister； she is
married； she tells me all her life； she tells me it is very hard； and
but for the money in her stocking it would be harder。 Dear Fraulein；
think again！ And is he good？ Sometimes they are not good。〃
〃He is good；〃 said Christian； rising； 〃it is all settled！〃 and she
kissed Barbi on the cheek。
〃You are crying； liebes Fraulein！ Think yet again； perhaps it is not
quite all settled； it is not possible that a maiden should not a way
out leave？〃
Christian smiled。 〃I don't do things that way； Barbi。〃
Barbi hung the towels on the horse； and crossed herself。
Mr。 Treffry's gaze