the secret places of the heart-第37章

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got　into　bed。　He　was　already　thoroughly　ill　when　the　doctor　arrived。　〃Forgive　my　sending　for　you；〃　he　said。　〃Not　your　line。　I　know。　。　。　。　My　wife's　G。P。an　exasperating　sort　of　ass。　Can't　stand　him。　No　one　else。〃　He　was　lying　on　a　narrow　little　bed　with　a　hard　pillow　that　the　doctor　replaced　by　one　from　Lady　Hardy's　room。　He　had　twisted　the　bed…clothes　into　a　hopeless　muddle；　the　sheet　was　on　the　floor。　Sir　Richmond's　bedroom　was　a　large　apartment　in　which　sleep　seemed　to　have　been　an　admitted　necessity　rather　than　a　principal　purpose。　On　one　hand　it　opened　into　a　business…like　dressing　and　bath　room；　on　the　other　into　the　day　study。　It　bore　witness　to　the　nocturnal　habits　of　a　man　who　had　long　lived　a　life　of　irregular　impulses　to　activity　and　dislocated　hours　and　habits。　There　was　a　desk　and　reading　lamp　for　night　work　near　the　fireplace；　an　electric　kettle　for　making　tea　at　night；　a　silver　biscuit　tin；　all　the　apparatus　for　the　lonely　intent　industry　of　the　small　hours。　There　was　a　bookcase　of　bluebooks；　books　of　reference　and　suchlike　material；　and　some　files。　Over　the　mantelpiece　was　an　enlarged　photograph　of　Lady　Hardy　and　a　plain　office　calendar。　The　desk　was　littered　with　the　galley　proofs　of　the　Minority　Report　upon　which　Sir　Richmond　had　been　working　up　to　the　moment　of　his　hasty　retreat　to　bed。　And　lying　among　the　proofs；　as　though　it　had　been　taken　out　and　looked　at　quite　recently　was　the　photograph　of　a　girl。　For　a　moment　Dr。　Martineau's　mind　hung　in　doubt　and　then　he　knew　it　for　the　young　American　of　Stonehenge。　How　that　affair　had　ended　he　did　not　know。　And　now　it　was　not　his　business　to　know。　These　various　observations　printed　themselves　on　Dr。　Martineau's　mind　after　his　first　cursory　examination　of　his　patient　and　while　he　cast　about　for　anything　that　would　give　this　large　industrious　apartment　a　little　more　of　the　restfulness　and　comfort　of　a　sick　room。　〃I　must　get　in　a　night　nurse　at　once；〃　he　said。　〃We　must　find　a　small　table　somewhere　to　put　near　the　bed。　〃I　am　afraid　you　are　very　ill；〃　he　said；　returning　to　the　bedside。　〃This　is　not；　as　you　say；　my　sort　of　work。　Will　you　let　me　call　in　another　man；　a　man　we　can　trust　thoroughly；　to　consult？〃　〃I'm　in　your　hands；　said　Sir　Richmond。　I　want　to　pull　through。〃　〃He　will　know　better　where　to　get　the　right　sort　of　nurse　for　the　caseand　everything。〃　The　second　doctor　presently　came；　with　the　right　sort　of　nurse　hard　on　his　heels。　Sir　Richmond　submitted　almost　silently　to　his　expert　handling　and　was　sounded　and　looked　to　and　listened　at。　〃H'm；〃　said　the　second　doctor；　and　then　encouragingly　to　Sir　Richmond：　〃We've　got　to　take　care　of　you。　〃There's　a　lot　about　this　I　don't　like；〃　said　the　second　doctor　and　drew　Dr。　Martineau　by　the　arm　towards　the　study。　For　a　moment　or　so　Sir　Richmond　listened　to　the　low　murmur　of　their　voices；　but　he　did　not　feel　very　deeply　interested　in　what　they　were　saying。　He　began　to　think　what　a　decent　chap　Dr。　Martineau　was；　how　helpful　and　fine　and　forgiving　his　professional　training　had　made　him；　how　completely　he　had　ignored　the　smothered　incivilities　of　their　parting　at　Salisbury。　All　men　ought　to　have　some　such　training；　Not　a　bad　idea　to　put　every　boy　and　girl　through　a　year　or　so　of　hospital　service。　。　。　。　Sir　Richmond　must　have　dozed；　for　his　next　perception　was　of　Dr。　Martineau　standing　over　him　and　saying　〃I　am　afraid；　my　dear　Hardy；　that　you　are　very　ill　indeed。　Much　more　so　than　I　thought　you　were　at　first。〃　Sir　Richmond's　raised　eyebrows　conveyed　that　he　accepted　this　fact。　〃I　think　Lady　Hardy　ought　to　be　sent　for。〃　Sir　Richmond　shook　his　head　with　unexpected　vigour。　〃Don't　want　her　about；〃　he　said；　and　after　a　pause；　〃Don't　want　anybody　about。〃　〃But　if　anything　happens…？〃　〃Send　then。〃　An　expression　of　obstinate　calm　overspread　Sir　Richmond's　face。　He　seemed　to　regard　the　matter　as　settled。　He　closed　his　eyes。　For　a　time　Dr。　Martineau　desisted。　He　went　to　the　window　and　turned　to　look　again　at　the　impassive　figure　on　the　bed。　Did　Sir　Richmond　fully　understand？　He　made　a　step　towards　his　patient　and　hesitated。　Then　he　brought　a　chair　and　sat　down　at　the　bedside。　Sir　Richmond　opened　his　eyes　and　regarded　him　with　a　slight　frown。　〃A　case　of　pneumonia；〃　said　the　doctor；　〃after　great　exertion　and　fatigue；　may　take　very　rapid　and　unexpected　turns。〃　Sir　Richmond；　cheek　on　pillow；　seemed　to　assent。　〃I　think　if　you　want　to　be　sure　that　Lady　Hardy　sees　you　again　。　。　。　If　you　don't　want　to　take　risks　about　that。　。　。　One　never　knows　in　these　cases。　Probably　there　is　a　night　train。〃　Sir　Richmond　manifested　no　surprise　at　the　warning。　But　he　stuck　to　his　point。　His　voice　was　faint　but　firm。　〃Couldn't　make　up　anything　to　say　to　her。　Anything　she'd　like。〃　Dr。　Martineau　rested　on　that　for　a　little　while。　Then　he　said：　〃If　there　is　anyone　else？〃　〃Not　possible；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　with　his　eyes　on　the　ceiling。　〃But　to　see？〃　Sir　Richmond　turned　his　head　to　Dr。　Martineau。　His　face　puckered　like　a　peevish　child's。　〃They'd　want　things　said　to　them。。。Things　to　remember。。。I　CAN'T。　I'm　tired　out。〃　〃Don't　trouble；〃　whispered　Dr。　Martineau；　suddenly　remorseful。　But　Sir　Richmond　was　also　remorseful。　〃Give　them　my　love；〃　he　said。　〃Best　love。。。Old　Martin。　Love。〃　Dr。　Martineau　was　turning　away　when　Sir　Richmond　spoke　again　in　a　whisper。　〃Best　love。。。Poor　at　the　best。　。　。　。〃　He　dozed　for　a　time。　Then　he　made　a　great　effort。　〃I　can't　see　them；　Martineau；　until　I've　something　to　say。　It's　like　that。　Perhaps　I　shall　think　of　some　kind　things　to　sayafter　a　sleep。　But　if　they　came　now。。。I'd　say　something　wrong。　Be　cross　perhaps。　Hurt　someone。　I've　hurt　so　many。　People　exaggerate。。。People　exaggerateimportance　these　occasions。〃　〃Yes；　yes；〃　whispered　Dr。　Martineau。　〃I　quite　understand。〃　Section　4　For　a　time　Sir　Richmond　dozed。　Then　he　stirred　and　muttered。　〃Second　rate。　。　。　Poor　at　the　best。　。　。　Love。　。　。　Work。　All。　。　。〃　〃It　had　been　splendid　work；〃　said　Dr。　Martineau；　and　was　not　sure　that　Sir　Richmond　heard。　〃Those　last　few　days。　。　。　lost　my　grip。　。　。　Always　lose　my　damned　grip。　〃Ragged　them。　。　。　。　Put　their　backs　up　。　。　。　。Silly。。。。　〃Never。。。。　Never　done　anythingWELL　。。。。　〃It's　done。　Done。　Well　or　ill。。。。　〃Done。〃　His　voice　sank　to　the　faintest　whisper。　〃Done　for　ever　and　ever　。。。　and　ever　。　。　。　and　ever。〃　Again　he　seemed　to　doze。　Dr。　Martineau　stood　up　softly。　Something　beyond　reason　told　him　that　this　was　certainly　a　dying　man。　He　was　reluctant　to　go　and　he　had　an　absurd　desire　that　someone；　someone　for　whom　Sir　Richmond　cared；　should　come　and　say　good…bye　to　him；　and　for　Sir　Richmond　to　say　good…bye　to　someone。　He　hated　this　lonely　launching　from　the　shores　of　life　of　one　who　had　sought　intimacy　so　persistently　and　vainly。　It　was　extraordinaryhe　saw　it　now　for　the　first　timehe　loved　this　man。　If　it　had　been　in　his　power；　he　would　at　that　moment　have　anointed　him　with　kindness。　The　doctor　found　himself　standing　in　front　of　the　untidy　writing　desk；　littered　like　a　recent　battlefield。　The　photograph　of　the　American　girl　drew　his　eyes。　What　had　happened？　Was　there　not　perhaps　some　word　for　her？　He　turned　about　as　if　to　enquire　of　the　dying　man　and　found　Sir　Richmond's　eyes　open　and　regarding　him。　In　them　he　saw　an　expression　he　had　seen　there　once　or　twice　before；　a　faint　but　excessively　irritating　gleam　of　amusement。　〃Oh！WELL！〃　said　Dr。　Martineau　and　turned　away。　He　went　to　the　window　and　stared　out　as　his　habit　was。　Sir　Richmond　continued　to　smile　dimly　at　the　doctor's　back　until　his　eyes　closed　again。　It　was　their　last　exchange。　Sir　Richmond　died　that　night　in　the　small　hours；　so　quietly　that　for　some　time　the　night　nurse　did　not　observe　what　had　happened。　She　was　indeed　roused　to　that　realization　by　the　ringing　of　the　telephone　bell　in　the　adjacent　study。　Section　5　For　a　long　time　that　night　Dr。　Martineau　had　lain　awake　unable　to　sleep。　He　was　haunted　by　the　figure　of　Sir　Richmond　lying　on　his　uncomfortable　little　bed　in　his　big　bedroom　and　by　the　curious　effect　of　loneliness　produced　by　the　nocturnal　desk　and　by　the　evident　dread　felt　by　Sir　Richmond　of　any　death…bed　partings。　He　realized　how　much　this　man；　who　had　once　sought　so　feverishly　for　intimacies；　had　shrunken　back　upon　himself；　how　solitary　his　motives　had　become；　how　rarely　he　had　taken　counsel　with　anyone　in　his　later　years。　His　mind　now　dwelt　apart。　Even　if　people　came　about　him　he　would　still　be　facing　death　alone。　And　so　it　seemed　he　meant　to　slip　out　of　life；　as　a　man　might　slip　out　of　a　crowded　assembly；　unobserved。　Even　now　he　might　be　going。　The　doctor　recalled　how　he　and　Sir　Richmond　had　talked　of　the　rage　of　life　in　a　young　baby；　how　we　drove　into　life　in　a　sort　of　fury；　how　that　rage　impelled　us　to　do　this　and　that；　how　we　fought　and　struggled　until　the　rage　spent　itself　and　was　gone。　That　eddy　of　rage　that　was　Sir　Richmond　was　now　perhaps　very　near　its　end。　Presently　it　would　fade　and　cease；　and　the　stream　that　had　made　it　and　borne　it　would　know　it　no　more。　Dr。　Martineau's　thoughts　relaxed　and　passed　into　the　picture　land　of　dreams。　He　saw　the　figure　of　Sir　Richmond；　going　as　it　were　away　from　him　along　a　narrow　path；　a　path　that　followed　the　crest　of　a　ridge；　between　great　darknesses；　enormous　cloudy　darknesses；　above　him　and　below。　He　was　going　along　this　path　without　looking　back；　without　a　thought