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the double-dealer-第6章

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MEL。  You shall have my thanks below。  'To the musicians; they go

out。'





SCENE IV。





'To them' SIR PAUL PLYANT and LADY PLYANT。



SIR PAUL。  Gadsbud!  I am provoked into a fermentation; as my Lady

Froth says; was ever the like read of in story?



LADY PLYANT。  Sir Paul; have patience; let me alone to rattle him

up。



SIR PAUL。  Pray; your ladyship; give me leave to be angry。  I'll

rattle him up; I warrant you; I'll firk him with a CERTIORARI。



LADY PLYANT。  You firk him; I'll firk him myself; pray; Sir Paul;

hold you contented。



CYNT。  Bless me; what makes my father in such a passion?  I never

saw him thus before。



SIR PAUL。  Hold yourself contented; my Lady Plyant。  I find passion

coming upon me by inflation; and I cannot submit as formerly;

therefore give way。



LADY PLYANT。  How now! will you be pleased to retire and …



SIR PAUL。  No; marry will I not be pleased:  I am pleased to be

angry; that's my pleasure at this time。



MEL。  What can this mean?



LADY PLYANT。  Gads my life; the man's distracted; why; how now; who

are you?  What am I?  Slidikins; can't I govern you?  What did I

marry you for?  Am I not to be absolute and uncontrollable?  Is it

fit a woman of my spirit and conduct should be contradicted in a

matter of this concern?



SIR PAUL。  It concerns me and only me。  Besides; I'm not to be

governed at all times。  When I am in tranquillity; my Lady Plyant

shall command Sir Paul; but when I am provoked to fury; I cannot

incorporate with patience and reason:  as soon may tigers match with

tigers; lambs with lambs; and every creature couple with its foe; as

the poet says。



LADY PLYANT。  He's hot…headed still!  'Tis in vain to talk to you;

but remember I have a curtain…lecture for you; you disobedient;

headstrong brute。



SIR PAUL。  No; 'tis because I won't be headstrong; because I won't

be a brute; and have my head fortified; that I am thus exasperated。

But I will protect my honour; and yonder is the violator of my fame。



LADY PLYANT。  'Tis my honour that is concerned; and the violation

was intended to me。  Your honour!  You have none but what is in my

keeping; and I can dispose of it when I please:  therefore don't

provoke me。



SIR PAUL。  Hum; gadsbud; she says true。  Well; my lady; march on; I

will fight under you; then:  I am convinced; as far as passion will

permit。  'LADY PLYANT and SIR PAUL come up to MELLEFONT。'



LADY PLYANT。  Inhuman and treacherous …



SIR PAUL。  Thou serpent and first tempter of womankind。



CYNT。  Bless me!  Sir; madam; what mean you?



SIR PAUL。  Thy; Thy; come away; Thy; touch him not。  Come hither;

girl; go not near him; there's nothing but deceit about him。  Snakes

are in his peruke; and the crocodile of Nilus is in his belly; he

will eat thee up alive。



LADY PLYANT。  Dishonourable; impudent creature!



MEL。  For heav'n's sake; madam; to whom do you direct this language?



LADY PLYANT。  Have I behaved myself with all the decorum and nicety

befitting the person of Sir Paul's wife?  Have I preserved my honour

as it were in a snow…house for these three years past?  Have I been

white and unsullied even by Sir Paul himself?



SIR PAUL。  Nay; she has been an invincible wife; even to me; that's

the truth on't。



LADY PLYANT。  Have I; I say; preserved myself like a fair sheet of

paper for you to make a blot upon?



SIR PAUL。  And she shall make a simile with any woman in England。



MEL。  I am so amazed; I know not what to say。



SIR PAUL。  Do you think my daughter; this pretty creaturegadsbud;

she's a wife for a cherubim!do you think her fit for nothing but

to be a stalking horse; to stand before you; while you take aim at

my wife?  Gadsbud; I was never angry before in my life; and I'll

never be appeased again。



MEL。  Hell and damnation!  This is my aunt; such malice can be

engendered nowhere else。  'Aside。'



LADY PLYANT。  Sir Paul; take Cynthia from his sight; leave me to

strike him with the remorse of his intended crime。



CYNT。  Pray; sir; stay; hear him; I dare affirm he's innocent。



SIR PAUL。  Innocent!  Why; hark'eecome hither; Thyhark'ee; I had

it from his aunt; my sister Touchwood。  Gadsbud; he does not care a

farthing for anything of thee but thy portion。  Why; he's in love

with my wife。  He would have tantalised thee; and made a cuckold of

thy poor father; and that would certainly have broke my heart。  I'm

sure; if ever I should have horns; they would kill me; they would

never come kindlyI should die of 'em like a child that was cutting

his teethI should indeed; Thytherefore come away; but providence

has prevented all; therefore come away when I bid you。



CYNT。  I must obey。





SCENE V。





LADY PLYANT; MELLEFONT。



LADY PLYANT。  Oh; such a thing! the impiety of it startles meto

wrong so good; so fair a creature; and one that loves you tenderly

'tis a barbarity of barbarities; and nothing could be guilty of it …



MEL。  But the greatest villain imagination can form; I grant it; and

next to the villainy of such a fact is the villainy of aspersing me

with the guilt。  How? which way was I to wrong her?  For yet I

understand you not。



LADY PLYANT。  Why; gads my life; cousin Mellefont; you cannot be so

peremptory as to deny it; when I tax you with it to your face? for

now Sir Paul's gone; you are CORUM NOBUS。



MEL。  By heav'n; I love her more than life or …



LADY PLYANT。  Fiddle faddle; don't tell me of this and that; and

everything in the world; but give me mathemacular demonstration;

answer me directly。  But I have not patience。  Oh; the impiety of

it; as I was saying; and the unparalleled wickedness!  O merciful

Father!  How could you think to reverse nature so; to make the

daughter the means of procuring the mother?



MEL。  The daughter to procure the mother!



LADY PLYANT。  Ay; for though I am not Cynthia's own mother; I am her

father's wife; and that's near enough to make it incest。



MEL。  Incest!  O my precious aunt; and the devil in conjunction。

'Aside。'



LADY PLYANT。  Oh; reflect upon the horror of that; and then the

guilt of deceiving everybody; marrying the daughter; only to make a

cuckold of the father; and then seducing me; debauching my purity;

and perverting me from the road of virtue in which I have trod thus

long; and never made one trip; not one FAUX PAS。  Oh; consider it!

What would you have to answer for if you should provoke me to

frailty?  Alas! humanity is feeble; heav'n knows! very feeble; and

unable to support itself。



MEL。  Where am I? is it day? and am I awake?  Madam …



LADY PLYANT。  And nobody knows how circumstances may happen

together。  To my thinking; now I could resist the strongest

temptation。  But yet I know; 'tis impossible for me to know whether

I could or not; there's no certainty in the things of this life。



MEL。  Madam; pray give me leave to ask you one question。



LADY PLYANT。  O Lord; ask me the question; I'll swear I'll refuse

it; I swear I'll deny ittherefore don't ask me; nay; you shan't

ask me; I swear I'll deny it。  O Gemini; you have brought all the

blood into my face; I warrant I am as red as a turkey…cock。  O fie;

cousin Mellefont!



MEL。  Nay; madam; hear me; I mean …



LADY PLYANT。  Hear you?  No; no; I'll deny you first and hear you

afterwards。  For one does not know how one's mind may change upon

hearing。  Hearing is one of the senses; and all the senses are

fallible。  I won't trust my honour; I assure you; my honour is

infallible and uncomeatable。



MEL。  For heav'n's sake; madam …



LADY PLYANT。  Oh; name it no more。  Bless me; how can you talk of

heav'n; and have so much wickedness in your heart?  May be you don't

think it a sinthey say some of you gentlemen don't think it a sin。

May be it is no sin to them that don't think it so; indeed; if I did

not think it a sinBut still my honour; if it were no sin。  But

then; to marry my daughter for the conveniency of frequent

opportunities; I'll never consent to that; as sure as can be; I'll

break the match。



MEL。  Death and amazement!  Madam; upon my knees …



LADY PLYANT。  Nay; nay; rise up; come; you shall see my good…nature。

I know love is powerful; and nobody can help his passion。  'Tis not

your fault; nor; I swear; it is not mine。  How can I help it; if I

have charms?  And how can you help it; if you are made a captive?  I

swear it is pity it should be a fault。  But my honour;well; but

your honour; toobut the sin!well; but the necessityO Lord;

here's somebody coming; I dare not stay。  Well; you must consider of

your crime; and strive as much as can be against it;strive; be

sure。  But don't be melancholic; don't despair。  But never think

that I'll grant you anything。  O Lord; no。  But be sure you lay

aside all thoughts of the marriage; for though I know you don't love

Cynthia; only as a blind f
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